Hola! [DOT 5/5/21]

I know that Cinco de Mayo isn’t really a big holiday, other than for drunken frat boys, but hey, it gives me something to put as the header image!

Here’s a handy explainer of the holiday:



So this guy gets 5 years probation…
Pennsylvania man admits he voted for Trump with his dead mom’s name: ‘I listened to too much propaganda’

But she gets 5 years in jail…
Texas Court of Criminal Appeals will review Crystal Mason’s controversial illegal-voting conviction

Gee maybe someone could tell me the difference between the two.

This is why we can’t have nice things.

FAA warns of spike in unruly, dangerous passenger behavior

Biden aims to vaccinate 70% of American adults by July 4th


I feel like this is the perfect Far Side joke:

A farmer moved the border between France and Belgium so his tractor could have more room

A Teenager Mistakenly Moved Into a Senior Living Complex. TikTok Loves It.

Have a great day!



  1. Baseball stats are such nonsense. They give an assigned value with no context. A middle relief pitcher could have more wins than an ace starter. Pat Burrell on the phil’s could hit 20 homers, but 16 of them were hit in no-pressure situations, aka, a big lead, or huge deficit, and wouldn’t affect the outcome.

    • Even though, I wish the HOF was based on stats rather than whatever the fuck it is based on. My friend insists it is a cool place to visit but I’m sure it would just piss me off.

      • Nah, the Hall is way more than a bunch of plaques.  It’s a museum.  You can spend an entire day there and not see it all.  Lots of historical stuff, jerseys and bats and bases and all that shit, every team has a display.  We saw the scorebook from the 33-inning game.  There was a display on baseball movies another one on baseball art.  There was even a giant exhibition on cricket.  I went with my older son and I’d like to go back with my youngest at some point before he goes to college.

    • That’s kind of the point of the new breed of statistics, “moneyball” and all that shit.  Don’t let your eyes fool you, Derek Jeter was objectively a terrible shortstop.

  2. Hah! Senior living. It’s of course everywhere in Florida, but it’s usually carefully and jealously monitored. I have a friend I met while working in South Florida at a marketing company with a lot of younger employees. We were all young and poor and living situations varied widely, but he lived by himself in a condo. The rest of us were either married with two incomes or had roommates. We’re like, dude, how are you pulling this off? 
    Turns out he was renting in a senior facility from (I think) a friend of his aunt. The old lady owned the condo and was willing to rent it to him. I never thought to ask how he got around age restrictions and that stuff, but he didn’t have people over and I’m pretty sure the whole thing was on the down-low and attracting attention would have blown his cover.

    • My friend moved into a senior living place (at about 57, so still pretty young). They take out her trash, shovel everything, take care of all the landscaping etc. And they have a very nice pool that doesn’t have any kids. I can see why she likes it. 

      • The other funny thing was this place was OLD. Like, orange shag carpeting, popcorn ceiling, Formica counters, avocado appliances old. He showed me a couple of pictures once. I don’t know if they had a pool or if he couldn’t use it without outing himself. 

        • I think some of the less well-off places have vacancy problems and will look the other way when a young person is allegedly cat sitting or helping with chores and ends up living there for the long run.

      • Except there is always some busybody watching everything you do. My Dr’s office is in the ground floor of a senior apartment building and if you park in the wrong spot there is a tow truck there before you even get in the building. The lady who taught me to knit and crochet lived in a senior complex and one time my dog got hurt and I brought him with me and she heard all about it the next day.

        • Yeah, that’s exactly what I meant by “carefully and jealously monitored.” Old people have TONS of free time, and a significant portion of them use it to spy on their neighbors and report “infractions.” That’s why I found it so surprising that my buddy pulled it off. 

          • My father in law lives in a giant Dell Webb community and ratting out your neighbor is definitely the #1 activity.  The whole place gives me the creeps & looks like the community at the end of Poltergeist.  If you plant the wrong plant or have too much yard art you can see the people walk by with a clipboard.  
            On a brighter note, at my mom’s place (pre-Covid) they let us rent a 2bdrm apartment for a week while we visit for $100 per night with 3 meals (I can only do breakfast with the old folks though).  It was so cool to be in same complex as Mom even if you feel like you are green alien the way they stare at you.  You can’t get a single hotel room in Hawaii for less than $200 so that is a crazy bargain and worth the constant judgement.

          • Yeah, they see everything until they don’t, funny how when something bad happens they didn’t see it or twist it around to be your fault. Former occupant of the house next door saw a guy break into my house and nonchalantly walk back out again in broad daylight. When I asked her if she saw anything she said ‘you have so many men friends, I thought it was one of them’. arrrgh. She did that shit all the time, judgey mcjudgerson.

            • Also, get it Sedevilc!

              One of my neighbor’s just ran an insurance scam. Had me emailing the entire HOA asking if “anyone saw anything” but in reality she was just making a claim on all her high tech AV equipment. I guess her Only Fans wasn’t panning out (not judging, except for the scam part). 
              For weeks all the little old ladies were emailing me to see if we’d heard anything about the break in! Me saying “nah, you’re safe don’t worry about it” probably wasn’t super comforting. 

    • It’s kind of unfortunate that there is no reciprocity built into the Constitution.  It seems that’s why half the nation feels that their rights come with no corresponding obligations.

      • Yeah, I still get pissed over people assuming they can just march onto private property without a mask in defiance of the property owner’s instructions. No, motherfucker, the owner can make you wear a shirt, shoes, a tie, a jacket, evening wear, or fucking nothing at all. Your ONLY option is to LEAVE. 
        But those same people demand to be able to shoot anybody that confronts them in the street and makes them feel “threatened.” But they have no issues arguing with a hapless cashier because “freedom” or some shit. 

  3. Facebook’s kludgy internal pseudo independent oversight board has upheld the ban on Trump, but says the company needs to come to a decision about his permanent status.
    It will be cringey to see how Facebook handles this. Trump is not going to reform himself, he will continue to say things which, if they were hosted on FB, would violate their policies. But instead of acting decisively, they’ll let it fester.

    • Yep. This is the very definition of kicking the can down the road. 
      Honestly, they’re basically hoping Trump will die before they have to grow a spine. I do join them in that hope, however. 

      • They are afraid that congress might renew the call to break them up if they vote to let him back and will wait until a more favorable congress is in charge.

        • The problem for Zuckerberg (and everyone else like him) is that Trump will only get worse, and he will do it on his own schedule. He’s not going to play nice until 2023 to make things easier for anyone. He’s not even going to stick to the status quo. Accommodation isn’t a realistic option.

      • From what I’ve read, this board is starting to cause Zuckerberg some heartburn.
        The scheme was to be like a typical corporate board, where you recruit some well regarded but pliable people, pay them a lot and then present  them with carefully curated options where the decisions don’t really make a difference either way
        There are signs that the review board is going beyond their narrow design, and not just looking at specific cases but pointing to bigger systemic causes. I am betting it is a matter of time before Zuck gets hissy and packs them with more stooges.

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