Holidays! [NOT 26/11/22]

I’ll probably be in the landing pattern by the time this posts. All good things (like a trip out West) must end.

Simple question: What part of the holidays do you enjoy?

I enjoyed those few times in my life when a holiday meal turned out great with little grief or drama (mine or anyone else’s.) The feelings of togetherness and good food. A good family moment untouched by the outside world.



  1. My favorite thing is all the decorations, specifically all the bright lights.

    I didn’t realize until a few years ago when I went on a trip to a sunny place in January just how dreary winter gets to me. I don’t think I actually have anything close to seasonal affective disorder and I don’t want to diminish the impact to anyone who does. Just (shocker!) it getting dark at like 4:30pm makes it dreary. So the sparkly holiday lights help my mood a lot.

    Sadly my January trip got cancelled last week, so booooo on that. I might try to go somewhere warm and sunny in February, not sure yet.


  2. I hate to be the Grinch but I don’t really enjoy the holidays. I never have. I do a disproportionate amount of the work, the baking, cooking, decorating, shopping, gift wrapping. It’s exhausting.
    I honestly never had a nice Christmas in my life and have a few very painful memories associated with it. I’m just looking forward to January.

    • Oh that’s completely understandable.

      Also I really hate how the Grinch is presented as such a bad guy. Those Whos from Whoville are annoying as fuck. The only thing he did that was bad was the breaking & entering and theft.

      Which I would argue was a safety measure as all those noisy toys are going to cause an avalanche one of these days.

  3. I loved Christmas as a young kid. Once I started to understand that the adults were stressed and bickering, the magic died and it became a source of stress every year (my upbringing traumatized me into being in charge of all the adults’ feelings and it is an impossible task to keep them happy especially on such a loaded holiday). These past couple years, I started to like it again because I spend it with my kids at home and refuse to have family visit or to go anywhere.

  4. I *mostly* like the full-winter, December-to-January-time holidays, buuuuut a lot like how Hammer mentioned that “being responsible for Adults’ feelings” bit–on pretty much *every* holiday, during my childhood & early adulthood, the *overall* holidays were good (and tbh, that was *EVERY* holiday, not just the winter ones!🥴), buuuut without fail, there was AALWAYS the point in the morning/early day *sometime,* when Dad was going to suddenly get mad and lash out verbally or physically (throwing something, slamming something down (possibly breaking it–then getting mad at whoever was nearest, because HE broke it🙃), or occasionally with a backhand or slap to the top/side of my head.😕

    I don’t know *exactly* where/why the dysfunction started–i suspect it was a pattern he *probably* learned from Grandma (because Grandpa was the FAR more even-keeled of his parents)…

    But, I kid you not. I learned as a preschooler, that there was a pattern–the SAME pattern–Every.Single.Holiday, where it was *almost* like the man had a compulsion to act out the *same* 100% predictable pattern, before he could let GO of *whatever* it was that created this specific *thing* he HAD to enact, to have a, “proper” holiday, & move on, so we could fiiiiinally *enjoy* the day🙃

    Because I knew from so early on, “this IS a pattern,” I also ended up developing a bit of an “anxiety complex” of my OWN (tying back to HZ’s comment!) where–for a LONG time–*I* was completely unable to relax and have fun on ANY holiday/”event day,” until after the inevitable blow-up was done😖🥴🙃…

    It took until I was almost out of high school, iirc, before I realized how much that “wait until after The Blowup, THEN you can have fun!” message I’d just *internalized* as a 2-4 year old,, was 100% NOT healthy or “something everyone’s family does!”😱

    Fwiw, ^that^ is the sort of thing I mean, when I say (like I did last night), that my relationship with Dad is complicated

    I love him, but–ESPECIALLY now that I’ve worked in Childhood Mental Health, and have/am constantly studying more & more about things like childhood traumas/ACES, I’m realizing SO MUCH about how incredibly messed up even the “healthy” side of my family, with the “good relationships with each other” is😉😂🤣💖


    • One of the things I like about the movie A Christmas Story is Darren McGavin and Melinda Dillon do an amazing job keeping you never quite sure if the Dad was OK. Probably he was, but if anyone wanted to argue otherwise I could be convinced.


    • Oh, friend! A few years back a friend recommended I do that ACES survey that goes through stuff that wow I thought often was normal. Before I did it, that friend was like “hey I took this and it was definitely useful, and we had similar childhoods soooooo just be ready for a high score a test you don’t want a high score on.”

  5. i enjoy putting a real tree in my living room….its a wonderfully wierd tradition

    good food and sanctioned day drinking are apreciated too

    and getting to spend it with just the close family is best…..spending it with the extended fam is just too much and never ends well

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