I guess this impeachment trial is happening, huh?

I have been willfully ignoring what I believe to be the inevitable acquittal of our disgusting president, but there’s actually been some stuff worth paying attention to. Here’s a summary of where we stand, written quite possibly only to inform myself.

Yesterday (Jan 16th) began the official proceedings. It was mostly ceremonial shit.

  • Chief Justice Roberts was sworn in.
  • The Senators had to sign a piece of paper saying they took that oath to be impartial (why did they sign a paper ABOUT an oath) (please tell me there is some watchdog group with some zealous lawyers going to challenge that shit please please)
  • Trump was officially summoned.
  • Adam Schiff read the articles of impeachment aloud in the Senate chamber: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oh7YlgE7_1c
  • The House has appointed their impeachment managers:
    • House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff (D-Calif.)
    • House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerry Nadler (D-N.Y.)
    • Rep. Zoe Lofgren (D-Calif.)
    • Rep. Hakeem Jeffries (D-N.Y.)
    • Rep. Val Demings (D-Fla.)
    • Rep. Jason Crow (D-Colo.)
    • Rep. Sylvia Garcia (D-Texas)
  • Trump has added Ken Starr and Alan Derschowitz to his defense team. Because we live in hell because we all died in a fire started by an irony explosion.

Will there be witnesses? I thought it was a done deal, but the door is actually still open for witnesses to be called. Important about that:

  • Nearly two thirds of the population, including Republican voters even, want to see John Bolton testify.
  • The vast majority of voters want to see more witnesses testify at the trial.
  • A GOP group is urging Mitch to allow them, by advertising on Fox News, because that’s the only way to communicate with Republican lawmakers.
  • Susan Collins is having a real serious crisis of conscience is saying the same shit she always says and then goes back on because she’s a lying snake trying to trick her base.
  • Libertarian mansplainer Rand Paul is threatening any Senators who plan on allowing witnesses, because he is an independent thinker who pursues truth (jerk off motion). The threat is that he will allow the president to call whatever witnesses he likes, and force those vulnerable Republicans in the Senate to vote them in. I’m not sure why that’s a threat if they’re already open to witnesses but sure.
  • There is talk of calling Hunter Biden. Some people seem to think the Dems should go along with this so he can clear his good name and with the strange idea that they’d then get their own useful witness (John Bolton). Expert my opinion:
    • For the love of fucking god, do not agree to that (I mean, technically they don’t need Dems’ agreement, but still)
    • All they’ll do is allow that part to be on C-Span while they create soundbites that make him sound terrible.
    • Fast forward to 8 months from now on our darkest timeline and Biden is the nominee, and Hunter Biden looking like he’s on trial is all we’ll fucking hear about.
    • Furthermore, you really think the Republicans are going to then let you call John Bolton (or that John Bolton wants to help Democrats)? Fucking please!

Up next:

  • McConnell is setting deadlines and what not.
  • The Senate will convene for opening arguments on Tuesday. There is not much publicly published further than that.

Other stuff:



  1. The Biden thing makes me insane. Even if Hunter Biden murdered 10 people it still has nothing to do with Trump’s crimes. It is complete batshit republican whataboutism at its fucking most absurd.

    • “It is complete batshit republican whataboutism at its fucking most absurd.”

      Yes it is.

      And yet, if anyone on our side of reality were to ask, “What about all the ways the Trump children have profited off of *their* father’s political power?”

      We are greeted with “HOW VERY DAAAAAARRRRRREEEEE YOU!?!?!???”

      The levels of hypocrisy are staggering enough to drop herds of elephants, hippopotami, AND rhinoceri.

    • The benefit is twofold:

      If there’s some sort of chicanery related to lil Biden’s employment at Burisma, then Trump can continue to assert that he was right to withhold the money earmarked for Ukraine in order to root out corruption.
      Even if not the case, then Trump can undermine the person who he likely perceives to be his number one adversary.

      The House inquiry determined that Trump solicited a foreign entity to undermine the 2020 election. Having Biden — any Biden — take the stand furthers that goal, regardless of the outcome or veracity of the accusations. It would be a shit show.

      • iamnotalawyer & all that sort of thing but one of the guys that does the Opening Arguments podcast is & although I’ll probably garble the detail they pointed out that in terms of the relevant legal trappings even if there were something to the notion that Biden Jr benefited inappropriately from being his father’s son (which, looking at Dolt45’s approach to his own progeny is very much the assumption you’d assume he’d make) it actually wouldn’t provide the necessary justification for the withholding

        …apparently there’s a specific set of acceptable justifications the alleged administration would need to cite & the fact that they haven’t even tried to check that box speaks pretty clearly to the fact they they know damn well that none of them apply

        …if there were a time to consider whether or not potential corruption in the Ukraine made the allocation of funds a poor decision it would appear that would very much have been before Congress gave it the funding the nod – the President explicitly does not have any business gainsaying their will on the matter absent the aforementioned duly appointed exceptional circumstances

        …which, to no one’s surprise, very much appear to not (& indeed by the sounds of what he said about it, could not) be applicable in this instance?

        • Given the highly probable outcome of the Senate trial due to its composition, Trump is likely less motivated by legality and more by how it appears.

          I mean, look at his current law team: Starr, Ray, and Dershowitz have been picked specifically because they are well-known and TV-friendly. White House counsel Cipollone is probably-likely-in-all-probability a good lawyer and well-versed in the nuances of the law, but I don’t believe that any defense that Trump presents is intended to disprove the articles of impeachment.

          • …not sure if you’ve had the dubious pleasure of skimming through any of the DOT posts but I’m afraid you’ll find a lot in the ones that came from me that might make a case for you preaching to the choir, there

            …that that last bit is true is (I think) undeniable but also to some extent incomprehensible

            …which is not to say that whole shitshow can’t be teased apart until it at least makes sense that it is what it is

            …or that the dizzying quantities of stuff mere fractions of which were the undoing of greater political minds than his aren’t very much a feature not a bug to this particular press/political parasite

            …just that this shit didn’t get him locked up years before he made that idea his go-to catchphrase & that the famous concept of checks & balances has achieved such a desperate imbalance that nothing seems to have checked his ability to have that be “enough” when it is so very literally beside the point?

            it’s as much the shit that enables & supports his ability to act as though his delusions have the power to alter reality as it is the man himself that is a blight upon us all at the end of the day…

  2. Thanks for the summary. I agree about Hunter Biden not testifying. In the immortal words of our good friend Admiral Akbar.
    “It’s a trap!”

  3. I have been having daydreams about being filthy-Bezos-rich and having a space tourism company. I convince all these treasonous chucklefucks to go for a ride and ‘somehow’ the rocket accidentally fucks off to the Sun.


      • I’ve had a similar thought process, but in such a way that I don’t want the ultra-greedy fucks who have broken our world to be involved in space travel–if we find another habitable planet (or even simply resource-rich), I feel like we owe the rest of the universe to NOT spread the architects of our evil-ridden hellscape elsewhere.

  4. I’ve long pitched the idea that we just build a giant gold castle in a remote area and tell trump he’s been named King of ‘Merica and throw him in there with no outside communication except a fake Fox Channel to feed his ego. Just feed him KFC and McDonalds and let him yell at the TV. Then we can all go back to the business of actually having a functioning society.

    • I think we could just choose one state and wall it off and let him be king of it. Let his followers go. I guess I’d choose Wyoming because it has the fewest people we’d need to evacuate first. Give them their propaganda network. Tell them how great it is. Let Trump pretend he has nukes.

      • Wyoming is far too good for them.

        I think we should ship them all out to Pitcairn. Without supplies. Then issue a quarantine around the island so no one gives them any help.

        I promise I’m not a violent person. These people just push all my incoherent rage buttons.

        • Still advocating for a swap of Puerto Rico’s citizens for MAGA chuds. If Trump and his followers think he did such an A+ job with disaster relief after hurricane Maria, they can fucking live there for a few generations.

      • I have given thought to this — I don’t want it to be Wyoming, unless you subtract Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons from the part they’re confined to — and I think there is a much, much better solution: Indiana. With apologies in advance to any Indianans reading this who have genuine affection for their state (I only know ones who wished they lived anywhere else), it’s honestly just about the only state I can think of for which I cannot summon up something beautiful or interesting that I’d rather not cede to them.

    • Can we just make a Maquette, and then paint a wing of Supermax (aka ADX Florence) gold, instead?

      It’s still got his “big, thick, beautiful walls!” but it’s already…

      Well secured. And it’s run by folks who already passed heavy background checks to work there😉😈

    • I’ve become very adept at image searching. That header image, I searched something like “trump tongue disgusting” and got that. I don’t think I’d seen that one before but I’m going to use it a lot going forward…

  5. Re: The restriction of press access. I hope the democrats in the Senate leak anything and everything to the press. I hope they give all the interviews they can and actively seek to shape the narrative around the impeachment hearings. That will leave the republicans with two options: allow this to happen (and potentially suffer the electoral consequences) or give their own interviews in the media, effectively undoing the restrictions in the first place.

    But a long history of observing the democrats has taught me never to bet that they’ll act in their own best interests.

    • Don’t kid yourself. Maine Republicans who think she’s not partisan enough aren’t going to vote for a Democrat, and they’re not going refrain from voting in protest. They’ll vote for Collins.

        • Her main opponent is the current Speaker of the Maine House of Representatives and should give Collins a good run. I thinks she has a chance. 8 years of LePage and 2 years of Trump put the Dems in pretty good shape. I see a few “Bye Susan” bumper stickers here and there. A Democrat defeated an incumbent Republican in the US House 2nd District last year by a very narrow margin but the 2nd District is where the anti-Collins votes are going to have to come from. Southern Maine is pretty solidly blue.

      • At least the sourness on Collins will open the door for people to come in and sow discord among Maine Republicans. If they loved her it would be much harder to convince them to choose a new way. If they hate her for being too librul, they’ll probably be slightly more likely to at least not pull the lever for her. Hey, maybe we can get a conservative spoiler in there! Get some more convincing MAGAt to try to unseat her…

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