Idiots in your area! [NOT 3/11/22]

3/11/22 brightersideoflife 39

Hi, friends!

It’s been a while since we had a NOT dedicated to stupid shit in your region.

Feel free to share local news stories of ridiculousness that don’t make national news.

For Missouri, either an Egyptian king cobra escaped or someone stole it.

https://www.riverfronttimes.com/news/missouri-venom-fest-ends-early-after-cobra-disappears-38812812

VenomFest sounds totally like a legit event.

Anyways, it maybe pulled a Houdini and escaped. More likely I think someone shoved it into a backpack.

avataravataravataravataravataravataravataravataravataravataravatar

39 Comments

  2. In other news!

    Nick Cannon is expecting another child. His ex is pregnant with one of his as well.

    I feel like this is a cult situation and I can’t figure out it. OK! magazine estimates he’s paying $3 million a year in child support for his current passel of 10 kids.

  3. Every time I’m on the damn road because I hate everyone (and that sometimes includes me.)

    What I don’t get are folks who like to accelerate in slow motion at the lights.  Or hit the brake incessantly when there is no one in front of them.

    Today, I had such an asshole in front of me so I was stuck behind HIM and his big ass elevated pickup truck (you’re not fooling anyone Mr TinyDickEnergy) as I rode the red wave of stop lights and frustration to get home.

    Only the last 14 minutes of my commute were fine as I accelerated past him. I thought I was free till he suddenly accelerated and tried to merge into my lane.  Nope, stay the fuck away from me, Mr Overcompensation.

    • I got a mailing a couple of years ago with a full color glossy booklet looking for reservations for buying into some kind of personal flyer deal for commuting. It’s just not happening.

    • Beyond fucking stupid.

      I was en route to NYC a few years ago when a helicopter crashed into a building and the city thought there was a terrorist attack and all the airspace was shut down. We ended up rerouted to a different city entirely.

      If nothing else, the airlines can’t afford the delay costs from dipshits crashing their personal helicopters.

      • That touring helicopter crash story had an interesting “Final Destination”-like twist. It crashed into a residential building and the apartment that was directly hit suffered serious damage. Luckily the woman who lived there was on her way home and was mere moments from arriving. That same woman years before was almost killed when a Dr. Seuss Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade jumbo balloon couldn’t be controlled in the high wind, crashed into one of those poles that tells you parking restrictions for the block, which then fell onto the woman, requiring lots of hospitalization.

        Two memorably freakish accidents and that woman was at the center of both. I imagine that in both cases she retained an excellent lawyer and is living far, far away from Manhattan.

    • Actually, reading the article is sounds really cool. I’d do it and I’d jump out into the water of they let me. Said the helicopters basically control themselves You just point to the direction but they shut down and head back to base when the battery is dead they can only fly so far they have bumpers that don’t let them go actually into the city The height that they said they can fly is a little bit high but other than that it sound like they had a bunch of contingencies to keep it safe of course we all know how that can go. But I like to do crazy things and that sounds like an insanely fun thing to do.

  5. In the grand scheme of things, not quite so crazy as deadly sneks, but every New Years/Christmas Eve/ Ground Hogs Day (I forget which) there is an annual event which involves full body immersion in a local waterway at about 33F.

    If you’ve ever just waded into water that cold (I had to in college) just up to your knees is brutal. Over your head is nuts.

     

  8. You can throw in our provincial government who refuses to talk to education workers (not teachers.) We’re going to have a province wide strike. I’d like to see regular folks make a living wage as opposed to jack shit rather than tax cuts for rich motherfuckers.

    Hey complicit MSM.. How’s Doug Ford looking now (although I’m not sure if the NDP or Libs would have done any worse)?

  9. Amateurs.

    You want snakes?

    https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2022/10/28/florida-deputies-capture-75-pound-boa-in-neighborhood/

    https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2022/10/28/i-thought-it-was-a-two-by-four-worker-runs-over-10-foot-burmese-python-at-kennedy-space-center/

    Air travel?

    https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2022/11/03/ucf-student-tracking-elon-musks-plane-on-twitter-im-not-going-to-stop/

    Defund the police?

    https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2022/10/28/emotional-support-mini-horse-becomes-newest-ocala-police-officer/

    Alligator snacks?

    https://www.clickorlando.com/theme-parks/2022/10/27/video-photos-gatorland-animals-enjoy-pumpkins-ahead-of-halloween/#//

    Beach day?

    https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2022/10/19/jaws-large-alligator-soaks-up-sun-surf-on-florida-beach/

    Drugs?

    https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2022/10/17/good-samaritan-discovers-cocaine-washed-up-on-daytona-beach/

    and that’s just Central Florida.

    • Sounds like a bad process. I ALWAYS verbally confirm wire instructions with the sender and recipient and never just blindly accept wire instructions over email. And every firm I’ve been with over 20 years has done it that way. Someone fucked up.

  12. I am afraid that PA will get Dr. Oz, Trump talking head and pretender of state residence, as Senator. And even that is not in the running when BryanLSplinter plays.

  13. Sort of a stupid shit story. My friend woke up to a broken rear window on her Prius yesterday. I immediately thought vandals but it was caused by bird shit (probably a bald eagle). I looked it up, that shit happens.

  14. “You know what’s a word that doesn’t get spoken enough? CORNHOLE”

    This George Carlin quote brought to you by the 2022 National Cornhole Championship Cheating Scandal, where one team accused the other of using non-regulation cornhole bags. After a weigh-in, it was found BOTH teams had non-regulation cornhole bags.

     

    • That reminds me of how the former Raiders punter Ray Guy, who just died, was accused of filling his footballs with helium to make them go farther.

      Suposedly they were checked once and found to be fine. I wonder if the refs inhaled from the valve to see if their voices sounded like Donald Duck?

      At any rate, the difference between helium and regular air doesn’t matter. The only way the gas would matter is if it was hydrogen, the football’s valve was leaking, and the punter smoked and you had a Hindenburg style disaster.

Leave a Reply