Efficiency Experts! Ha!
This post on the beer blog Shut Up About Barclay Perkins! has a nice example of how long efficiency experts have created massive inefficiencies.
In 1970, Bass Ale had a long distinguished history as a premium beer. It made an appearance in Edouard Manet’s masterpiece Un bar aux Folies Bergère, as well as the original illustrations of The Wind in the Willows. So of course CEO H. Alan Walker decided to screw it up. He consolidated all breweries in just two mammoth locations and tried to create a new, more efficient system. “Despite many in the company having misgivings about the plans, no dissent was allowed. The chairman made it very clear than anyone raising objections would be sacked.”
Quality quickly declined and production suffered. “As soon as the brewery opened, it ran into problems. On the one hand, it struggled to replicate the beers from the existing breweries. And on the other, it had terrible industrial relations, leading to repeated strikes.”
Eventually Bass-Charrington rebuilt their huge brewery for more traditional brewing methods, and then shut it down completely in 1993.
So Let’s Talk Inefficient Efficiencies!
We see them all the time. Maybe you’ve had a supermarket chain decide to close smaller local stores in favor of one superstore, only to have customers flee because the new store is too big and too inconvenient. Maybe you’ve had a huge highway built nearby which quickly drew so many new drivers that local on-ramps became overloaded.
Maybe your office has instituted a new database in the name of efficiency which demands you enter every name 42 times in order to simplify operations on the back end. Or maybe your insurer has created an online portal for entering information which somehow doesn’t stop you from being asked for every piece of that information again when you visit an office.
Have you ever had a multitool with every possible combination of screwdriver, wire stripper, awl, and hex wrench which turns out to be so overloaded with features and hard to use that you would rather just keep separate tools in a toolbox? Or maybe you’ve cursed the dope who decided to eliminate a cord port in favor putting everything on Bluetooth?
One of the sad facts of life is that making things easy is hard work. Let’s talk about ways that efficiency wasn’t what it was cracked up to be, and the geniuses who made it that way.
I miss @mrfadedglory aka luv4allmusik fwiw.
Also, I have a how to post to put up and sticky…want me to wait until tomorrow?
Post away, more content is better.
I was just thinking about him. He was the only one other than Keitel that would get me out of the grays on the old DUAN.
I starred you on DUAN to get you out of the greys quite a few times. That is how I remembered you. You also commented, rarely, on Deadspin and I’d ungrey you. Sometimes I’d see your comments and think you were black…but now I suppose someone else had ungreyed you before I saw your comments.
I owe you a thanks too then!
My current favorite is self-checkout at Target. Most have installed precisely four self-checkout stations. The regular checkout aisles are almost complete unstaffed. Maybe one or two. The net effect is a massive bottleneck at every checkout. The hopelessly inept attempt to fumble their way through the self-checkout and further jam things up. (I mean, I’ve been watching people check groceries for decades now. The concepts aren’t difficult and you’ve seen it done thousands of times.)
If you’re going to move people to self-checkout, put in 10-12 stations. If you’re not, hire some cashiers. But what they do is the absolute worst combination of both options.
Home improvement store self checkouts are the ones that get me. A lot of that is a two person job, and trying to maneuver big stuff with a bar code in an awkward place and scan it by yourself is stupid.
I am a master at my grocery store self checkout & even remember some of the SKU’s for the veggies but then I buy booze or use a coupon or it thinks I didn’t put something in the bag or didn’t scan something! Fuck! I don’t try to have the poor attendant make repeated trips to override shit but I have no choice!
Also, I am all for pointing out the inefficiency of efficiency experts seeing as I am, literally, an efficiency expert. “Management Consultant” has a nice ring to it, but I am most definitely an efficiency expert. It’s how I introduce myself to board members of random corporations who think they can implement LEAN all on their own because they’re so fucking smart. They are not fucking smart…most of them are nepo-babies…all of them are surely man-babies…anyway, they’re all fucking idiots who think they’re smarter than everyone else until a “management consultant” comes in and fixes everything for them, after making them feel stupid – like the stupid, idiots they are – just for kicks, for which they take credit and claim they’re the smart ones who fixed everything.
I am not scrolling through the above rant for typos, grammatical errors, or … fuck that felt good to get out…what were we talking about, even?
Auston Matthews maybe?
25.7% of our goals and all the fans be like, “he can’t do it in the playoffs.” My comment was BANG ON.
I knew, I just knew, that somehow this would devolve into a conversation about the Toronto Maple Leafs. Congratulations, gentlemen.
I was going to respond BTL on the Free For All Friday but figured it’d be easier to get two birds stoned at once? After all, I had to inquire about my How To post.
You’ve met my management?
They won’t implement LEAN on themselves or their fucked up processes because they think they’re ‘perfect’. They assume it’s us donkey production workers are the SOLE problem.
On top of that, they rehired my former dipshit supervisor… the same one who nearly got me creatively dismissed… the same one who took credit for a lot of the work we did (including mine)… the same one who bragged to everyone within earshot that he’s the BEST leader (he’s not)… the same one who basically pissed himself and ran away when put in a situation to prove he can lead… now as the LEAN director for our sister site.
https://www.riverfronttimes.com/news/st-louis-finds-common-cause-in-a-divided-world-anger-at-schnucks-41809268
The local grocery store decided that officially the self-checkout can only be 10 items or less. Mind you, the one I go to has self checkout stations that have spots for 4 grocery bags and a shelf for your stuff. So why the fuck would that be 10 items or less??
I miss Bass Ale.
Maybe your office has instituted a new database in the name of efficiency which demands you enter every name 42 times in order to simplify operations on the back end.
kind of….. as of last week the office wants me to write up a full fault report for everything i find faulty before packaging
the full jobby…order number/serie number/part number who made the part…whats the fault
as they put it it shouldnt take much time as you only find a couple faults a day
they dont seem to realize i fix 95% of problems myself and only notify them of problems that are beyond me or obviously bad parts we outsourced that need notifying a supplier
i have asked them if my position is now considered administrative duty