It’s Monday Again [DOT 16/3/2020]

Name someone stupider than Trump. I dare you. I was going to say Dumber, but that’s not grammatically correct (I googled it). So I had to go with ‘stupider’ even though that doesn’t mesh with my header image. So just bear with me today, eh.

“Trump tells US ‘relax, we’re doing great’ as his virus expert says worst is yet to come”

The market has been unimpressed. I wonder if Trump will send a signed copy of the chart to Lou Dobbs when the market goes down? (He will not.)

“Federal Reserve slashes interest rates to zero as part of wide-ranging emergency intervention”

[As an aside, you can sign up for the WaPo’s Coronavirus newsletter and have all their free articles delivered to your inbox: ]

There was a debate. I didn’t watch it. Did you?

“Winners and losers from the Bernie Sanders-Joe Biden debate”

What happens in Vegas…is nothing for the moment.

“All Las Vegas MGM casinos, hotels set to temporarily close”

“Donated” SureJanDotGif.
What did this guy think was going to happen? That we would read this article and feel sorry for him?? The hubris. The caucasity. I can’t.

Stuck at home? Here’s a list of workouts you can do to keep yourself moving.

“From yoga to CrossFit: the 10 best online home workouts”

And some music for your home workout:

Old School
New School

Have a good and healthy day!



  1. JFC I can’t believe the Fed just did that. The ,5 cut didn’t soothe markets so at what point did these assholes think that doubling down with a full point cut would be any different? Trump said it made him very happy. I’m sure it did you fucking selfish piece of shit. If/when the economy truly goes in the shitter we’ll be fucked because aside from QE they have nothing else to work with and we know Congress can’t do shit. Not looking forward to this.

    • The Fed member from Cleveland was the only one to oppose the move (she did’t want to drop it all the way down).
      Now the gun is out of bullets but the bad guys are still coming.
      I’m 100% sure Trump doesn’t understand why the market is going down again today.
      I’d love to be a fly on the wall to all the conversations going on behind the scenes about closing the trading floor of the NYSE.
      You know they have to be thinking about it.

      • I read ine thing they can still do is buy city and state debt, meaning they will be able to borrow a lot more for local relief.

        I suspect this will cause a lot of blowback from conservatives, who instinctively hate anything that looks like helping Detroit or California. Whatever.

      • I grew up in Pittsburgh so I’m contractually obligated to make fun of Cleveland. But between this and the testing at Cleveland Clinic the city is looking pretty damn good.

      • I’m 100% sure that Trump doesn’t understand how crayons work, much less the stock market. He still thinks he has magical wishing powers and that he can control reality just by declaring shit, like an orange genie.

        It’s interesting, though. Financial markets are built on certain assumptions, like rational investors. I’ve come to think that the political marketplace is also built on certain assumptions, and one that’s come to dominate it is that Trump is an inveterate liar, who is literally unable to tell the truth. So when he says there’s no need to hoard supplies, even the MAGAs are sprinting to the dollar store to hoard supplies. It’s like when George Costanza decided to do the exact opposite of his natural inclinations, and it was wildly successful.

        Anyway, politcal philosophy aside, my thought was the same as yours a) a rate cut ain’t gonna work and b) now what will they try? Suspending trading is literally the only thing I can think of.

        Silver lining: The economy was Trump’s reelection ace in the hole. The only thing he has left now is white supremacy. Let’s hope that’s not enough.

          • That’s true of his so called base. The stupid everyman who thinks he’s one lottery ticket from living the gilded trump lifestyle. But the big money donors, the real reason he won, may be getting cold feet about him.

          • Oh, the MAGAs will, of a certainty. But they aren’t in the stock market. They’ll keep worshipping Trump until they’re unemployed, and probably long after.

            But I guarantee you the big-money Republican donors are appalled. They are watching their options and portfolios collapse. To them, Trump has always been a useful idiot, who will cut their taxes and eliminate regulation. Now, every time he opens his orange anus mouth, they lose money. It won’t affect their lifestyles, of course, but it hits them in their greedy little black hearts. If we hit full-blown recession, they won’t be cutting checks to support the Trump regime.

  2. Awww, Mr Colvin caught the sads because his price gouging scheme went kerplunk. He’ll get no sympathy from me. He knew exactly what he was doing, bragged about clearing shelves all over Tennessee and Kentucky. He also tried to pass it off as a public service, he was “making these products available in small towns and rural areas”. Except he drove to the small towns and rural areas to buy them out!

      • I’m guessing he already made a killing on sales before the price gouging bans kicked in, and he was hoping to unload what was left to someone who was willing to sell it off the back of a truck.

        If he only sold a quarter of what he had at a 500% markup, he would have made a lot. My guess is most of these guys are just sitting on their inventory now but don’t see any need to release any of it.

        The good thing is that soap and water are fine instead. Soap “kills” coronavirus because soap breaks up the lipids in the outer layer of the virus, and at any rate hand washing effectively removes viruses (and other germs) from your skin.

  3. RE: the Hand Sanitizer Guy

    Did you all see the articles NYT did on this fucker?

    Pity this poor Midwestern Crisis Opportunist! Sympathize with his tragedy of being unable to gouge people for shortages. He has a family, feel bad for his family!

    Oh fuck, he’s getting death threats and shit how could this happen to Matt Colvin who lives at 406 Deersucker Lane, Bumfuck Tennessee?! How unforeseeable!

    Obviously fuck this asshole, but to write articles about him like he’s a tragic figure and use his real name…what the fuck?

    • I don’t think they’re painting him as a tragic figure. This is the follow up article and in the first he was so boastful and insincere . It was clear what kind of person he was. I think this one shows how quickly he embraced victimization when his grift went bad. As for using his real name, you have a point. It does put him and his family in danger.

  4. The Governor has announced the first death in our state. He also ordered all bars and restaurants closed except for drive through and take out. Wait times for unemployment will be waived. If you know any bartenders who will be out of work they can apply for an emergency grant from the USBG.

  5. Not Calm Pops has decided the apocalypse is overrated and seems hellbent on getting himself some Vid. The state shut down bars to protect him and other curmudgeons from themselves, but he’s in denial thinking it’s only King county.

    He’s about to have a rude awakening when he goes for his after work pool game and pint. The man is giving me grey hairs.

  6. All of this stuff happening is making me hope and pray for death to come to certain specific people in our government and I hate them for that. As I watch my 401k and retirement account dwindle to nothing, I would like to ask a favor of my fellow commentators, drive carefully and keep an eye open for me, as I am certain that I will be collecting bottles and cans on the side of the road on the weekends to supplement my upcoming retirement.

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