Hi, friends!
How is your day going?
Do you have any low-stakes behaviors that when you do them, you think to yourself “wow I’m living dangerously”?
I drove home yesterday without doing the intelligent bathroom stop before leaving the building. Living dangerously as it could be an easy 30-35 minute drive ORRRRR a bunch of fuckups causing accidents causing significant, bladder-stressing, delays.
It was fine, there were no accidents on my route, but still when traffic got heavier my thoughts could have been summed up as nooooooo.
Everytime I give a sweet treat to my kids, I instantly regret it because they go feral. Does that prevent me from treating them again a couple days later? Nope! Living on the edge! 🤘🤪
Went for a run this afternoon with gray skies and rain clouds all around. Did I take any rain gear? Nope. I was a little wetter than usual when I got home.
THEY GOT TO HIM!!
https://apple.news/A4BfzVLBEQcyhA-UrAVbNIQ
Dark Brandon strikes again
There was another guy named Gal Luft who was supposed to be a key GOP witness who escaped arrest on Cyprus and has since been on the lam.
https://talkingpointsmemo.com/muckraker/the-wild-story-of-gal-luft-james-comers-missing-now-indicted-hunter-biden-witness
The case hasn’t been weak, it’s been stark raving nuts for a long time, but the press is so invested in normalizing the House GOP’s impeachment effort that keep get blindsided when stuff like this happens.
It seems to be the rule of road… When you need to go, every red light goes against you and every moron wants to drive slow. My bladder nearly exploded one time when I got stuck behind a slow mover who was going way less than the speed limit and we hit every stop light off the highway.
Each red light just added to the pressure. You know urine a lot of trouble when your legs are twitching.
I felt justified cutting him off as I rushed home. Traffic law and he didn’t but I didn’t care. Made it home dry but by seconds.
Wasn’t there a Mythbusters with a test of whether people who really needed to go to the bathroom drive as badly as drunk drivers? I seem to recall the answer was yes.
I bet people who have to shit drive worse than the two other categories combined.
Nothing beats worrying a tampon is about to turn into a gusher.
Omg that too! I can’t imagine trying to get blood stains out of a car seat.
As for stupid things… I am a fast eater… The joke is that I can barely taste my food. I do, but this became a habit during the dark days when dad would yell at me constantly at the dinner table so I would shovel down food to escape his wrath (it didn’t work but I kept trying.)
Anyway one night I didn’t want to cook so I ended up getting a steak sandwich from the local diner which aren’t the softer cuts of beef. I ended up swallowing a chunk of beef bigger than my throat. I started choking on my food. As I am gasping for air I tried to cough. Nope. I tried to cough again. Didn’t work. I tried to self heimlich. Again nope. As my vision darkened, I remembered something from CPR class and reached into my mouth and yanked out the obstruction. I spent the next ten minutes coughing and laughing imagining me found dead strangled by my last meal.
I take smaller bites now.
This is why God made gallon milk jugs. Way of the Road, Bubs.
Oh my God. Put the bird in it!
I remember reading years ago about a transit strike in Paris. Traffic moves pretty slowly under the best of circumstances and with no subway or bus service it came to an absolute standstill. It could take hours crossing from one side of the city to the other, or to get from the center to the Périphérique. Some entrepreneurs came up with slightly more tasteful gallon milk jugs (because Paris.)