Months, ranked

Editor’s note: This is Northern Hemisphere biased; YMMV in the Southern. And of course these are somewhat subjective based upon where you live, but of course, this list is objectively correct in all ways.

1. June

2. September

3. May

4. July

5. October

6. March

7. December

8. August

9. April

10. November

11. January

11a. Getting hit by a bus

12. February

About Clever Name Here dba "Black Rod" 94 Articles
Vell, Clever Name Here just zis guy, you know? Sometimes funny. Often annoyed. Once I saw a blimp.


  1. Strong agree on #12. TS Eliot was incorrect: February is the cruelest month. 
    For me, mid-to-late-September was always my favourite, it being the ideal autumnal weather of crisp air, early fall foliage, and the beginning of coat weather (but not too heavy yet). Yes, “Autumn in New York” is so much more than a schmaltzy Winona Ryder – Richard Geere snoozefest. 
    But climate change done fucked that up. For the last couple of years, it’s been in the late 80s still toward late September, and then it just falls off a cliff into pre-winter. 

  2. I would put March further down the list. March is still gray, and cold, and if you’re from Cleveland, filled with snow. There’s no glimmer of spring yet, but if there is it’s in the form of rain. 

    June is a good month. 

    • March weather where I am is objectively worse than April. HOWEVER, it’s usually when spring fever hits and you get a few good days to really make you feel like it’s right around the corner … and then April, at least the past few years, has been a massive, cold, gray letdown. March is just more enjoyable, plus March Madness, so I’m all in.

  3. October at #1. January in the top 5 because it supports hibernation with no holiday expectations. June is fine. Otherwise I will accept your rankings.

  4. I live in the SF Bay Area, where to (probably mis-)quote Seanan McGuire; “we don’t have weather, we have climate”
    I don’t have real strong feelings… I guess the typical summer/fall months in other areas are our “fire season” which kinda sucks.
    Only other gripe I have, is something near to ~50% of our holidays fall in a 2+ month range from November-December (1 November holiday I can never remember, 2 for Thanksgiving, 2 for Xmas, 2 for New Years)
    Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind the holiday density on those two months, I just wish there were just as many holidays in the other months.  We recently got a (belated) Juneteenth added to this month, and I think that extra day off literally saved me…
    I really need to try and figure out how to take a vacation…

  5. #1 is November, my birth month, the month I got my cat, the month I can really start wearing my hand knit sweaters, thanksgiving, which went from the worst fucking holiday to the best when I started spending it alone eating whatever the fuck I want, hours of entertainment watching people chase every last fucking leaf, wtf, I don’t get it, that’s free mulch!
    FEBRUARY IS SPOT ON THE WORST MONTH! The month I got married, wrecked my truck and broke my femur. [all those things happened on a Feb 4, btw, even my boss told me stay in bed on Feb 4]

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