And here we are again, Deadsplinters, for my final night of NOT. Well, my final night right now, not forever, I’m sure.
So what have I been pondering? Why, I’m glad you asked. This evening I am pondering aphorisms.
Aphorisms are defined as pithy little statements that are intended to convey a general truth. You know, like “Actions speak louder than words.”
So what I want to know is what aphorisms annoy the crap out of you?
I’ll start because that’s what I’m here for. “Forgive and forget.” Oh, HELL, no. That one just makes me see red. I may forgive (though you shouldn’t count on it — I have grudges I’ve held for decades), but I will most emphatically not forget. Forgetting is just an invitation for someone to screw with me again. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” That’s an aphorism that I’m totally on board with.
Let’s try another. “He who hesitates is lost.” Um, no. Sometimes he who hesitates is being smart and rethinking whatever got him into this situation. But okay, I’ll give that a partial thumbs-up because yeah, sometimes you need to charge ahead.
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Not if I don’t like you. Then I’m totally fine with your absence. I’ll just note that I’m fine with the absence of a LOT of people.
“Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.” No, it’s copyright infringement. Do your own thing and leave mine alone.
You get the point. Which aphorisms annoy you? Feel free to expound upon any of mine, or point out your own. I suppose you could also tell us ones that meet your approval. Or whatever else you feel like sharing. It’s an open thread.
“Act well your part; there all the honour lies.” – Al Pope
“Studies serve for delight, for ornament, and for ability.” – Frankie Bacon
“Love me, love my dog” – Luigi Vuoto (h/t Saint Bernard of Clairvaux)
Dogs. I was once again accosted by Buddy the Maltese on my walk today. Buddy demands to be petted and refuses to let you pass until you comply. Then Socks the cat intercepted me on the way back. Took 5 minutes of petting to get past that obstacle.
Sheldon leaves people alone.
I have grudges I’ve held for decades
You’re a man after my own heart.
When life hands you lemons, make lemonade! This is the kind of thing said by someone who is given only strawberries and cream.
I’m of diminutive stature, the runt of my litter. When my siblings would tease me I’d toss out good things come in small packages. My Nonna would say, “so does rat poison.”
Nonna FTW.
Yeah. The lemonade crap is irritating. And it doesn’t even make that much sense. Making lemonade takes a lot more than just lemons. “So you’re saying, when someone hands me something I don’t want, I should invest in additional stuff to attempt to turn the crap I don’t want into something else I don’t want. Uh, sure.”
“Grudges held for decades” is my family motto.
1 “Turn the other cheek”
2 “Ignore them, they will leave you alone.”
3 “Don’t sink to their level.”
1 Sometimes you do turn the other cheek if it is an accident or not malicious, but I ain’t Jeebus and do this endlessly. I have a limit as to how much shit I will take.
2 They just get more annoying (I know because that’s what I do.)
3 Depends on the level. Savagery is met with savagery. About the only thing I won’t sink to is crimes against humanity.
“About the only thing I won’t sink to is crimes against humanity.”
Thank you, I am reassured. Yeah, as noted, most of that “forgiveness” crap doesn’t sit well with me. I’m more of a “fuck around and find out” kind of guy.
Deleted for bad threading.
Y’all stop fucking with me.
“It is better to have loved & lost…”
no it isn’t! Fuck you! My heart is broken! I didn’t feel like this before!
Right? I totally didn’t know I was missing out until now. This is bullshit!
I had a friend tell me that after the woman I loved told me she was marrying someone else.
I harshly told him to “Try living with that and tell me how it feels.” Several years later he did and he remembered what I said. It didn’t make him feel any better, but he realized what I felt.
Ah, a sub-genre. “Aphorisms we have thrown in someone’s face.” Noting that for a future discussion.
“Everything happens for a reason.”
Not for an existential nihilist it doesn’t.
Yep. Pretty sure shit just happens.
The central theme of Taoism is literally shit happens.
My dad is part Taoist and part Confucius-ist in his beliefs.
The Central Message of Buddhism is “Not Every Man For Himself.”
I fucking love that movie!
What are you doing?
Ancient Buddhist meditation technique. It focuses your aggression. The monks used to do it before they went into battle.
When my kids were little I used to drive them crazy when they were rushing around trying to do stuff and messing it up by saying “You know.. (eyes start rolling) …you’ll go faster if you go slower.” “Stop it Dad!”
I REGRET NOTHING!
As a father, screwing with your kids’ heads is YOUR JOB. Discharge your duty with pride.
It is God’s will.
Oh, yeah. That one does NOT sit well with me. “So you’re saying God is responsible for all the shit we endure? Because that pretty much would make him an asshole, wouldn’t it?” That’s the kind of stuff that soured me on religion at age 8. And don’t even tell me about the Book of Job, the prime example of accepting God’s will. I’m like, what the actual fuck? And then I’d look around and see all these adults nodding their heads like it makes some kind of sense?
Oh, no. It’s God’s will that he and I do not see eye to eye.
I read this about a month ago and I thought it was an interesting interpretation of the Book of Job.
https://slate.com/human-interest/2022/03/job-torah-story-despair-alternative-war-democracy-climate-apocalypse.html
Probably in part because the only interpretive lens I had for that story was through Catholicism which is mainly “wow that Old Testament is fucking wack but hey this story shows that suffering for God will be rewarded in the end.”
That’s a fascinating interpretation. “If God won’t create just circumstances, then we have to.” Which sort of suggests that God, if there, isn’t particularly interested in us at all.
And the usual variation of “God has a plan.”
Welp lemme tell ya this atheist is like that’s some fucking bullshit right there.
Yeah. I mean, I know that people are trying to be comforting, but it doesn’t make me feel better.
Yeeeep
“Blood is thicker than water”
Um, asshole family can get fucked. Just because we share DNA doesn’t mean I owe them shit.
Yes. I take great pains to keep my daughter as far away from my in-laws as I can. She’s related to them, but she doesn’t need their criminal drama in her life.
“God never gives you more than he knows you can handle.”
Horseshit.
“If you want to make the gods laugh, tell them your plans.”
That one holds true!
Late to the party as usual – but I changed – If it doesn’t kill you – it only makes you stronger to If it doesn’t kill you – it only makes you wish it had. When I’m working – I use that phrase at least once a day.
Fortune favors the bold.
Pliny the Elder said that on his way to an erupting mount Vesuvius. He was killed.
Pliny the Elder is fucking delicious!
Ha! I was just thinking about that beer the other day. When I lived in SF, the local Whole foods would get one case per week and limited clients to two bottles. I bought it once for the hype. It was good but I wouldn’t stalk WF again for it 😉
The beer industry has caught up but for a long time that was the best beer in the world. Now they call it’s sibling Pliny the Younger the best. I met & had beers with the creator, brewer, owner at Hop School. Very humble dude & brew hero of mine. More hype than truth now but still a world class beer.