Had a great week, rocketing up to a strong 5th place in Iowa projections. If she keeps this up, she’ll be in perfect position to strike come next election season.
Really impressed the voters with their dedication to national security by chasing a scary bird off of the deck.
3. Andrew Yang
4. Elizabeth Warren
Not seeing the bump expected after her strong debate performance. Is this a sign that debates don’t really matter all that much at this point? Or that the pundit class is really out of touch with what voters are looking for? Or is it the voters who are wrong?
5. Bernie Sanders
His unfortunately timed rise in the Iowa polls is destined to peter out exactly one day short of caucuses. You’d think someone with his political history would know better than to be in first place this close.
6. Joe Biden
Mustang wouldn’t start, but he’ll be ok, just needs to kick it a couple more times.
7. Pete Butigeg
Unfortunately, he appears to be slowly recovering his memories from that botched Swaziland mission. If his original personality comes back, he might not be a good fit for the program anymore.