I have to be honest: It’s been a real beast trying to organise the chaos in my mind enough to put words together into a complete thought, when so many other things are crashing around up there.
Since our lockdown began nearly 8 weeks ago (no end in sight; they just keep extending it!), I’ve been on the phone/computer, trying to ensure food aide gets to our area; contacting our governor’s office regularly; contacting our local health department; advocating for increased testing in our county (don’t get me started); home schooling; touching base with family and friends; and just generally trying not to lose my shit.
But I have noticed something: There is a definite lack of control over a global pandemic that relegates the world at large to home confine. And those who would otherwise have power, via their job title, income, or status, are not reacting well to this sudden lack of control (or protection?) due to a virus.
These are the ones screaming to re-open a country where not a single state meets the CDC guidelines to do so, American lives lost as cannon fodder for that all-precious economy.
I wonder if they’re pushing so hard isn’t an attempt to re-coup/hold onto whatever power they thought they had. See, Covid-19 lays bare the truth: Their power was an illusion.
Power is about control, and very few of us actually have the level of power we delude ourselves into thinking we have. For those who have less, the only ‘power’ lost may be that of free movement and purchase power. (Or the actual power, when the bill can’t be paid.)
There is no job title, profession, or income level high enough to ensure protection from the two most dangerous invisible enemies: Covid-19 and lack of power.
Couldn’t agree more.
My program director is a boor and a bully who doesn’t know what he doesn’t know. He’s largely gone silent over the last month.
This is a very astute observation and makes a helluva lot of sense.
A blogger I follow said something very similar. He said that one of the things people need to strive for is “acceptance.” He’s personally a very detailed person who plans everything, and now you can’t plan. You can’t even go to the grocery store with a list, because who knows what’s actually there? So he’s trying to just accept things as they come. That really resonated with me.
On Wednesday my company said they were planning layoffs (I should be okay, except eventually I’ll be doing three jobs, I suspect. And I’ll end up watching friends get let go, which is its own kind of hell, but I won’t pretend it’s as bad as getting let go myself.). Normally, you’d start sending out resumes and exploring your options. But now? You just have to sit and wait for the axe to fall. Your only option is to accept what comes, because there’s not much you can do to change it. That … sits poorly with me, I admit. But I’m not pushing to open things up. I’m working on acceptance.
I think my initial meltdown when this started was about being unable to plan, over all else. All plans on hold. I constantly have plans. Not like necessarily festivals and nights out and shit like that, but just like, timelines for getting shit done, money saving and spending plans, medical procedure/upkeep, etc. All just erased. Under normal circumstances, if my husband lost his job, I’d probably go out and get one (I am self employed but could make time for part time work if I had to).
Once I was able to put myself on pause I was able to function a little better.
I’m afraid things won’t get better. People don’t listen. I was talking on the phone with a nurse and she told me yesterday morning when she was going to work it was like a regular day. People everywhere. She was so much scared.
ps. even the ones with power don’t have control. covid-19 doesn’t give a damn what the orange dummy says. he can shout a million times how he wants to re-open the country but covid doesn’t give a damn
I think things will get better but not until after they get worse. We could avoid this but alas, we are us.
I hope people can look around and notice, “hey, why is the rest of the world able to function but I can’t go to Cancun for vacation?”
Nice to see you back bella. You aren’t wrong.
The entire trump presidency is about this fear, his and his supporters. Fear of losing their place in the hierarchy, fear that socialists will redistribute their wealth. Fear that whiteness will no longer be the currency of the land.
Yeah these people have been simmering just below boiling point since like 2009, and I think they are boiling over now. I thought it was when they elected Trump but I actually think this is it. Hold onto your butts.
Excellent musing. I think you are spot on. I am so furious at people reacting to the situation this way, but I’m trying to remember that we are all at a high stress point and a lot of people aren’t…coping appropriately. Getting lost in conspiracies and screaming at their governors is what they are doing to cope. I hadn’t thought about the power/control angle but you are right.
Still, fuck them for trying to get us all killed (and, not to mention, exacerbating the economic situation).
And I can relate to the scrambled brains you’re experiencing – it has slowed now but I spent about 75% of my time connecting people with resources just because I’m a person who stays informed, not even that much of an activist. I also speak enough Spanish that I got recruited to help Spanish-speakers apply for unemployment.