Phew, Finally! [DOT 23/7/21]

"I've only had half of four bottles of wine."

Hiiii gang. I hope you all had a great week. Mine was…mediocre. And I still have so much stuff left to do today.

I found some funny shit today (not these first ones), but hopefully something to make you laugh on a Friday.

And, for the Ted Lasso aficionados out there, the new season drops today, so we have something to look forward too.

Let’s see, shall we…

I just don’t get it. I’m glad I live in a blue state, but I’d like to do stuff again.

For unvaccinated, coronavirus is soaring again

Fucked around; found out. (Anti-vaxxer dies of Covid.)

I shouldn’t be laughing at this as hard as I am.

The ‘Fyre Fest’ of overnight camps closed after 6 days

“We have been in tears, bored, and devastated the whole day. [The camp director] is lying to you all,” the camper wrote. “You have to trust us. You have to. We are not joking and we are not having fun. So many things are wrong with this place.” -Anonymous Camper, whom I adore



Futures edge higher after stocks notch 3-day win streak

Ok, again I’m laughing pretty hard at something really dumb. Somebody help me.

Have a great Friday!



  1. (Tries to spell out my city’s name with bacon strips)
    Dammit I ate all the bacon.

  2. Update on The Great Wood Stove Conflict of 2021.  I had a three-hour discussion with Mrs. Butcher last night and–while we are still getting the wood stove we 100% do not need, and the eventual purchase of which has not been in doubt–it will now be done in such a way that instead of it being completely in Mrs. Butcher’s favor, it is only about 70% in her favor, which is acceptable and honestly as much as I could hope for.  Troops are now being recalled from the border as we speak.

    • I am curious to the point of obsession about the wood stove. Can you share a link to what you’re getting? A couple of my relatives have pellet stoves, I think they were a fad years ago. What I found was that they heat the room they’re in to uncomfortable temperatures, but (and maybe this is specific to their houses and their pellet stoves’ placement) no heat seems to travel beyond the room they’re in. It’s like being clothed in a waterless Roman bath, going from the high heat to the chill in the room next door. Somewhat invigorating, I guess.

      • I don’t know anything about pellet stoves but had a wood burning stove in my last home. It was very efficient, we heated the whole house with it. The only drawback is they do dry the air so you need to use a steamer on the stove. I tossed orange peel, cinnamon sticks  and cloves in it so the house smelled wonderful.

      • She has decided to get this one:

        The thing about wood or pellet stoves is that unless you get the fan kit to go with them, then all you’re getting is radiant heat.  The fan is what allows you to heat more rooms.  We had one in our last house (but that one had a fireplace–and had more sq footage–so it was a no brainer to decide to purchase a wood stove there), and we were able to heat everything but the mother-in-law suite that we were renting out.  Of course, the fan doesn’t work without electricity, which means we would still need to run the generator if we lost power in the winter–which is no different than what we’re doing now with the furnace, as I pointed out to her the other day to zero effect.  Like Hannibal says, it does dry out the air so you have to keep water on top of it to provide some humidity.

        • We did have the fan, I forgot about that.

        • The other downside (which I’m sure you know) is that wood is a pain. It has to be cut, split and aged, and if you’re not doing that work yourself you’re paying for it, plus delivery. You have to store a ton of it and carry a ton of it. There are reasons people moved to other forms of heat.

          • I think you might have missed my earlier screed from the other day.  There is literally zero reason for us to get this wood stove other than Mrs. Butcher’s overwhelming terror of the imminent collapse of civilization.  This is why it has to be wood and not pellets (much less oil which is what our furnace uses) because when the post-apocalyptic hellscape arrives in the next three months, we have to be able to provide our own heating fuel.

            • Oh boy, because wood stinks as a zombie apocalypse fuel. Turning trees into fuel is the kind of thing that will make someone walk away from the homestead with a sign around their neck that says “free meat” on it.
              Now solar, that’s a different story. Flip a switch and the lights and heat come on. At least until the hordes notice the array, but they’ll also see the smoke from the wood fire and come looking for canned goods.

              • Pro-solar here. Burning anything causes other issues.

                • I’d love to go solar, but we don’t have enough roof space, and we get a lot of shade from the trees on the hill above us.

    • I feel your pain. I have an unused wood stove languishing in my basement. PITA When I was house hunting a fireplace was a must have. Well, I have 2. Do I use them, No. The smaller fireplace has been converted to a gas fireplace because all it did was suck heat out of the rest of the house, like burning $$. It’s more efficient but it cost 5k, and not really giving much return on investment. Fireplace #2 is huge with a huge overhanging wood mantle that, based on current standards, is unsafe. To convert that one to gas the firebox would be reduced to about 1/3 it’s current size. I can’t even remember the last time I  used that fireplace.

      • We use our fireplace almost daily in the winter. And the chimnea on the patio all fall, winter, and spring. I love a fire.

      • We have an old coal furnace in the basement. We met a woman who grew up in the house who said she remembered a horse cart making deliveries which she had to help shovel in the winter when she was little. I can’t say I’m sorry to have missed those days.

        • My grandfather had a huge coal stove in the kitchen of his little 4-room house but to get to his coal stash he had to go outside, open the bulkhead and down the cellar. That had to suck.

          • At our old house, one of our neighbors had an outdoor wood furnace.  It was huge, and would heat his entire 2-story house by pumping the heat through an underground duct–but it meant suiting up to go outside and walk 20 feet from the house to go throw wood in the goddamned thing.  No.  Thank.  You.

          • Whoa. That’s clearly the basis for The Good Son with Macaulay Culkin and Elijah Wood. 

    • if installing a wood stove isn’t expensive or difficult enough, you could consider a masonry stove…

    • As a married gentleman, I salute your victory — and 30% is **absolutely** a victory in the face of a spouse dead-set on something.

      • Ditto, my only hope in any argument is to not escalate it.  The wife is pretty much undefeated.  Even in defeat I sometimes escalate it with a “yes dear”.  That never goes over well but I just can’t help digging a bigger grave for myself.

      • I am very lucky in that my spouse is not quite ADHD but is very easily distracted. When we carved out the office out of the big open plan kitchen/dining room/living room area he thought it would be a good idea to put in a purely decorative…I can’t really describe this, but you mount it in the middle of a wall and it’s gas powered and gives the illusion of a fireplace. I was extremely dubious about all of this but I volunteered to do all the research and then did nothing. I designed the office so I oversaw the construction of the custom shelving and the extra-height table desk (because we are both very tall) and this huge wall-wide floor-to-ceiling cabinet, the lighting, the placement of the hound’s crate, etc. Only when it was done, and about two months after completion, he suddenly said, “Wait, I thought we were going to put the fireplace in this wall…” “Were we? First I’ve heard of it.”

  3. and the climate and environment news just keeps getting worst…


  4. @butcherbakertoiletrymaker You probably already know this but make sure you get a carbon monoxide detector after you install the wood stove. The risk is lower with them than a fireplace but you can’t be too careful.

    • We’ve actually got hard wired dual smoke/CO detectors because the local building codes require them.

  5. RE: Use a food.
    That’s pretty easy for me:


    • 😂

  6. Bleah Soda Stream sent me 8 bottles of caffeine free diet cola instead of what I ordered. They are resending my order and don’t want the cola back. If anyone wants it PM me.

    • @Sedevilc Well that sucks! You were looking forward to the monitor.

      • *mojito*

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