Quarantine hobbies, ranked

1. Looking for something to watch on TV but it takes longer to decide that then it would to just watch a show

2. Stare blankly at my phone while not really looking at anything

3. Opening a book and not reading it

4. Booze

5. Yelling at my son to get off the iPad

6. Existential dread

7. Telling my son to be quiet and go use the iPad

8. Pretending I’m entering a zombie infestation when I go grocery shopping

9. Cooking something I’ve never tried before

10. Sweet, sweet booze

11. Sex (by myself)

12. Sleeping poorly

13. Cooking the same thing I’ve had a million times before

14. Sex (not by myself)

15. Watching the same show I always watch for the 7,087th time.

16. Eating all the carbs

17. Idly wondering if Joe Biden is still running for president

18. Working from home

19. Getting hit by a bus

20. Watching TV news

About Clever Name Here dba "Black Rod" 89 Articles
Vell, Clever Name Here just zis guy, you know? Sometimes funny. Often annoyed. Once I saw a blimp.


  1. im torturing me nimby neighbours…
    they blasted their whole driveway clean..
    i just swept all that shit back on to their side of the drive way…
    you have a bin…fucking use it instead of my driveway

    if this drags on my nr 1 hobby may be molotov cocktails…. nr 2 would be pairing them with their house

  2. I have made so many face masks. But now I’m out of elastic, thank the universe, so I can stop that without feeling guilty.


    I think tonight will be booze.

  3. I’ve been kinda enjoying things so far. I ran out of beer sometime in March or so, but that’s okay, because I don’t have to deal with people or stress about rent.

    I’ve finished up a couple random projects lying around, and am keeping busy figuring out how to prepare and eat the various forgotten items in my pantry and freezer.

    I might have to leave my apartment and hit up a grocery store in a week or two.

    Plus, I’m spending a bunch of time fucking around online and watching True Blood (HBO has a handful of things for free this month, that’s one of them)

  4. I’m knitting a 10-stitch blanket. 10-stitch mindless knitting so I don’t lose my place when I’m distracted by the latest news from the hell that is outdoors right now. 10-stitches leaves me ample time to bait entitled assholes who brag about their hoarding under the guise of bulk buying. Excellent, well done, you got yours and never gave a flying fuck for people who can’t afford to shop once a month or took the bus to the store only to find empty shelves. And the golfers who think the courses should be open because it’s just outside exercise. So what happens when, because it’s the only place open, flocks of people descend on the course? You’re gonna kick em off, right? Coz, members only, right? And there is nothing wrong with that. MFers. Sorry for the rant, that is my #2 hobby.

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