1. It’s hard to know what they’re thinking because the media is so heavily tiled against conservatives. Other than Fox News, OANN, Breitbart, The Blaze, The Washington Times, New York Post, Wall Street Journal, Newsmax, Bret Stephens, Michael Gerson, Hugh Hewitt, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Gateway Pundit, The Epoch Times, Candace Owens, Dan Bong-face, the baseball head guy, Glenn Greenwald (America-only division), The Federalist, John McCain’s Kid, Drudge Report, Daily Caller, Free Republic, National Review, the Daily Stormer, Q, most of Facebook and Sinclair stations across the country, there’s basically no coverage of their side anywhere.
2. They practice an ancient ritual known as “Christianity” which appears to be the worship of an all-powerful “God” whose son, one Jesus Christ, came to Earth as a human and was killed as a way to provide salvation to all human beings. As no Democrat has ever heard of such a thing, we should take their sacred rites into consideration and find ways to greet them in ways they would understand rather than mock their traditions as we do now.
3. Liberal media has not spent the time trying to find out how immigrants, women and gay people cause economic anxiety.
4. We need to atone for Hillary Clinton’s infamous 2016 statement: “Half of Donald Trump’s supporters belong in a basket of … no, you know what, fuck them, fuck the Midwest, fuck the working class. Everyone who doesn’t vote for me is a piece of racist shit who I hope dies of flaming hot syphillis.”
5. Government by minority party is what the Founders intended by calling it a republic (NOT A DEMOCRACY A REPUBLIC!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!), according to people who say they know exactly what the Founders intended but haven’t actually done the reading.
6. My uncle’s cousin’s dogwalker’s pet’s sister’s roommate’s nephew died from a polio vaccine, why aren’t we looking into that?
7. Liberals have spent the past 40 years eroding union protections and outsourcing factory work so that gay people can get married, so it’s kind of rude that Omar and Justin didn’t invite anyone from the Rust Belt to their wedding last summer.
8. They only have gerrymandered districts in red states and have spent years holding out on judges via the Senate advantage; we are already asking a lot of them to only have the Electoral College to help them when it comes to presidential races.
9. Their kindness and grace after Trump won was exemplary; why can’t we live up to their example?
10. Here’s what happens when you don’t listen to the other side: Only Democrats and cowards said Covid-19 would be bad and Trump didn’t listen. Now many businesses are suffering, and I guess a couple of people may have even died. This is why we have to listen to them!
11. While most politicians say a lot and do a little, Trump has lived up to all of his promises: Hillary Clinton is near death behind bars; the wall is big and beautiful and paid for by Mexico; all the troops have been brought home; public schools have been defunded; all the illegal immigrants have been rounded up; Infrastructure Week was a massive success; Trump’s face is now on Mt. Rushmore; rich people pay less in taxes; we have an amazing new health care system that’s better than Obamacare; and the national debt is completely paid off in full
12. Donald Trump is a successful and respected businessman who ran a smart, disciplined campaign that attracted only the smartest and most well-adjusted people to follow his banner, and to disrespect those people is wrong, as they would never be cruel to us.
13. The party of “law and order” and Bill Barr would never go against an election result, or try to undermine confidence in the system through completely fabricated accusations or lawsuits without real standing, right?
14. They’re real Americans; everyone else is either too feminine, too gay, too genderqueer, too Black, too Hispanic, too educated, too urban, too liberal, too cosmopolitan, too empathetic, too (((cosmopolitan))), too poor, too rich, and too secular to be real Americans.
15. I went to a hipster coffee shop in a big city the other day and all everyone could talk about was how much we need to listen to Trump voters.
16. While we fret about their belief in conspiracy theories like QAnon, we should show understanding and not distain, as we believe in conspiracy theories like “free and fair elections” and “democracy” and “Obama was born in America.”
17. As befits the title, Rudy Giuliani remains America’s Mayor until death; probably need to account for that.
18. The only way to defeat abusers and criminals is to forgive them of their abuse and ask them to make no material changes to their actions going forward.
19. The Supreme Court, in a 6-3 decision, have declared Republicans the winner of every election between now and the end of time, so actually they won and Democrats need to respect that.
20. 500+ lost kids isn’t THAT many in the grand scheme of things, right?
21. Getting run over by a bus while on a listening tour.
22. Because Democrats are dumb and seem to think Republicans are offering good advice.
Yeah, in my callow youth, when I was naive and stupid, I used to think that if Democrats made good faith efforts to include Republicans in negotiations for the sake of unity, that we could pull back from the division and hatred. Eventually I came to understand that Republicans will never, ever, ever, ever, fucking EVER do the right thing, ever. For them, compromise means doing everything their way all the time. So, fuck them.
Now, that being said, I’m pretty confident that Joe, Chuck and Nancy will spend the next four years giving away the store and wondering why Republicans won’t play nice with them this time.
The problem is they see good governance as covering everyone*, which is a noble idea, undercut by the other side seeing good governance as pouring gasoline on institutions and safety nets and blaming Democrats for forcing them to light a match.
It’s obviously long, long overdue for the Dem leadership to change (it won’t! Schumer is back in as of today, which is hilarious) because even if the next generation of bland centrists takes over, they weren’t around to lose to Reagan and won’t be a hit dog for eternity as soon as any Republican starts talking about “lower taxes.”
* Note that “everybody” includes the right, the center right and center left; the left can go F themselves.
…he has the best numbers
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/ng-interactive/2020/nov/09/the-donald-trump-presidency-in-numbers
…five miles is big for a wall, right?
Well, the Great Wall of China is over 13,000 miles long. So yeah, this is comparable, according to Donald J. Trump. He also said Mexico paid for the Chinese wall, too.
Only five?! Holy shit. I thought it was 15. He’s even more incompetent than I thought, which is saying something.
Republicans have an abusive relationship with everyone else. And you know how all abusive relationships end? By the abused people forgiving and forgetting about all the abuse, and then the abuser sees the light and stops the abuse and becomes an exemplary human being.
It happens every time.
@bryanlsplinter
until the abused party puts several bullets in the sleeping back of their abuser. FINALLY.
Not to make light of abuse, but the Democrats motto should be: “This time they won’t hit us!”
This is just as relevant as ever:
The whole thing here is a damn masterpiece, @clevernamehere2, however:
Sorry, we don’t have money for shuttle buses to take you back to your car. THANKS, OBAMA.
It’s like the Parable of the Prodigal Son.
You talk about forgiveness AFTER they pull themselves out of the pig sty, come to you, and fully repent.
There is nothing you can do while they’re still wallowing in denial.
And considering these motherfuckers are also incompetent… no, a million times NO.
Who’s the snowflake now???
I have a friend at EPA who was fully prepared to quit if Tr*mp won.
Now she’s very excited!