America is a giant country with more than 340 million people in it, of diverse backgrounds and beliefs, so there’s absolutely no way to pick a single thing and say “That right there is America.”
But if I had to pick a single thing and say “That right there is America,” I suspect I would choose the annual Nathan’s Famous International Hot Dog Eating Contest, held each year on July 4th on Coney Island.
It’s just so perfectly, brilliantly American. It’s abundance — my god, so many hot dogs! — it’s competition, it’s all hype, it’s pure spectacle. It’s a guy somehow eating more hot dogs in 10 minutes than I do all year, the very outer edge of human ability!
It’s also a horrifying waste, it’s a deeply unpleasant watch, it’s utterly meaningless, it’s a pure PR stunt eagerly parroted by the “media,” it’s people shoving soggy bread into their mouths and being called athletes … and did I mention how grotesque of a watch it is?
I’m almost sorry to post this here.
… yuck.
In the end, nobody actually wins, but we pretend there’s some value in it and then that person gets a mustard-yellow wrestling belt to signify their victory.
You bet your sweet ass that’s America, baby!
Anyway, enjoy your fireworks tonight if you’re going to see them … ha ha, just kidding, you’ll be subjected to them everywhere at all hours because America is just full of Americans (derogatory).
But here’s hoping you had a better Fourth of July than Joey Chestnut’s toilet did after the event.
And to celebrate the day, one song that absolutely makes the worst Americans go completely insane!
…so I might have a way to improve the outlook for the weekend…at least provisionally…provided there’s a willing
victimvolunteer with the time to spare, anyway…for reasons which @megmegmcgee will tell you are clearly the result of a sequence of poor life choices…it is unlikely I will be in range of wifi when the DOT for sunday ought to appear…or, indeed near a keyboard…or even a table…basically it looks like I’ll probably be waking up on sunday morning in a tent
…so…if someone would like to replace all the crap that means nobody has to wade through with…anything at all, really…that might make the day more…restful?
…also, I’d be much obliged…so…there’s that
…& if the carrot isn’t enough & we have to fall back on sticks…I could probably go ham on bluesky links to cut & paste with just a phone…so…ummm…I guess there’s that, too
…dealer’s choice?
my new favourite hobby on the interwebs is pointing out to americans 340 million is rookie numbers
you think we have less in europe do you?
oh wait you think texas is bigger than europe …course you do
google it..ill wait
but man..the most american thing i can think of is being confidently spectacularly…wrong
If you think Europe is a country then you, sir, are a red-blooded American!
…ok…I’ll bite?
…america isn’t a country…it’s a continent…arguably two conjoined continents…the southern one acts like a continent
…the northern one uses the existence of canada to cos-play as a country & gets upset if anywhere else tries to have its cake & eat it that way
…so the parts of europe that are the EU are an illegitimate superstate conspiracy in the making…but the USA is just a regular country that did some coding in a dorm room & now has so much money apparently even trying really hard blowing enough of it to stop them doing dumb shit is mathematically no more possible than them losing all of it faster than it keeps rolling in but that’s not their fault so they shouldn’t have to sign up to any binding liabilities for what all the stuff that makes them all that money…like…does…to people…or the world
…because that right there is communism you filthy beatnik
…& this concludes this evening’s display of irresponsible behavior in conjunction with hazardous materials designed to explode for the purposes of entertainment to any prospective onlookers?
+1
good kinja!
dude he just made you American, you should not be +1ing that lol
…this right here…this is why I am thankful this place exists
…you’re not wrong…I did call canadians americans…called a whole lotta people who would be very clear about how much they aren’t americans, americans
…I mean…it wasn’t really me…”the americas” is a thing people said a fair bit before I showed up anywhere…which presupposes a minimum of two…so…I guess you have your southern americans in the sense that tops out at the south side of texas…your “other americans”…& that would make canadians the other-other americans?
…semiotics
…more fun than fireworks?
sometimes trolling is art that deserves appreciation
…i know it might not be a popular opinion ’round here but we are a diverse comminity
This is big talk from Brexit Town lol
…don’t tell anyone…but between you & me…I didn’t see anyone offering to pick up the sunday DOT so I figured maybe give people…some incentive?
[…also…brexit is the canary that died in the coalmine for doofus, dotard & dumbass’ plan to bankrupt america in four endless years the way the war on terror was the one bibi looked at before running the lines for palin’s part in the dead parrot sketch…so…you’re not wrong about that part either?]
All right fine, I’ll take your blood money … I mean Sunday DOT.
(I would have volunteered sooner but I wasn’t sure up until about 10 minutes ago that I would be home at a reasonable hour myself tomorrow!)
…I’ve said it before & I’ll say it again…you, sir, are a scholar & a gentleman
…& I’m much obliged…as maybe a few others might be after the spectacle I made of myself twisting that arm…so…ummm…wait…I know this one
…no harm, no foul…good game…good game
…I’m…pretty sure that’s how it goes…or at least that’s what I was told?
aaaand if we are going to go by europe the continent……we actually have double the population of the usa….as opposed to only having about 100 million more…for the eu
fair point…..kind of a cheap shot tho…as you know damn well america compares itself to europe…not individual parts of it
….probably coz most americans can barely find europe on a map let alone belgium
pointing out to americans that they’re wrong is a Canadian thing and i won’t stand for you Europeans stealing it from us!
pretty sure we did it first……i’ll let you have it tho…seems only fair considering proximity n all
There’s catastrophic flooding in Texas – 13 confirmed dead so far and there are 20 missing girls from a youth camp.
The Guadalupe River rose 26 feet in 45 minutes. There was no warning system despite the river flooding somewhat regularly.
You know, I guess any sort of preventative warning measures would be anti-American. Dirty Commie tactics.
…well…shit…that sucks pretty much all the ways
…I don’t know how it is in that particular stretch of that part of the world but I remember reading some pretty terrifying accounts of the sort of flash-flooding that can happen in places with a lot of steep narrow canyons…in hindsight reading about those around the time they told us at school all about how the thames flood barrier works was probably one of those poor life choices meg was clearly right about…because I’ve never really stopped being at least a bit in awe of what large amounts of water can do
…like that thing where a wave rebounding in some fjord or whatever like the universe needed a metronome making the globe ring like a bell & show up on seismographs over & over while the scientists wondered WTF the deal was with the readings…for an example that’s at least nicer to think about?
26 feet in 3/4 hour? It doesn’t sound like a lot except flooding the banks usually requires more water due to volume. It must have come in a bloody wave.
Yeah it sounds like a huge volume came through.
Also those 20 missing girls from a “christian camp” – I find it telling that there’s no missing adults. So they have teens/girls managing other girls and I don’t think they know where they camped, etc. You know, because there’s no adults around.
I eat fast, but I can’t stomach (literally/figuratively) eating that much food in that much time. My guts would explode.
I like hot dogs and I like chicken wings, but if I had to constantly suffer as well as vomit it up afterwards then I couldn’t stand eating them even if I was a professional eater.
Besides, I found out my literal break point when my parents took me out to a Chinese All you can eat buffet for my birthday. I thought I could eat like a 2o year old, but then early middle aged me couldn’t take anymore.
Me in the aftermath.
Shit the AP news story about that camp in Texas with the missing girls.
About 750 campers there, missing around 20. Cabins washed out along the river. The road entrance to the camp is washed out, they have no power or running water either.
“The camp is split into two neighboring sites. Cabins housing the youngest campers, who can start attending at age 8, are situated at water level along the banks of the river and were likely the first to flood, Crane said. Teen campers stay in cabins higher up on the hillside.”
https://apnews.com/article/texas-flooding-girls-missing-camp-mystic-395992e236e35c4486f9a6a97eed7704