Scorched Earth [NOT 14/4/22]

Hi, friends!

Sorry this is a little late. I was attempting murder on some plants.

Topic of the night is – what do you happily have a scorched earth response to?

I generally avoid herbicides and trying to kill plants. But…… wintercreeper and honeysuckle? If I had napalm, I’d spray it with a smile.

The biggest problem I have is 3 properties along my back yard have massive amounts of it. However, now that I’m going into summer #3 here, I’m like fuck it I’ll lean over their fence to cut it at the base. It’s been 3 years and no one has tried to maintain any of it, fair game for me to hack down and spray the cuts with herbicide.



  1. Pity the poor Russians who couldn’t stop a Ukranian missile from sinking the Moscow, flagship of the Russian Black Sea Fleet (also the ship who was on the receiving end of “Go Fuck Yourself, Russian!”)

    Played enough games of the Harpoon Computer (original PC) game to know the Moscow (then known as the Slava) class Guided Missile Cruiser wasn’t going to survive many a missile hit.

    • Oh come on! That was totally a fire on board that detonated artillery, not a missile!

      Totally unrelated that other warships have now moved farther away from coastlines, that’s just coincidental…

  2. We have a lot of invasive honeysuckle here too. It’s damn near impossible to kill. It does makes good walking sticks though, lightweight and strong.

  3. Less an external thing, but … wet socks. I haaaaaaaaaate having wet socks. One of the most memorably bad days of my life was during my sophomore year of college. I was a mess for like a dozen semi-legitimate reasons but was keeping it together. Then on my way back to my dorm I stepped in a thought-it-was-snow-but-it-was-melty puddle and soaked my feet and just lost it.

    I try not to kill flies but I always go HAM on fruit flies because my wife hates them.

    • Oh I totally understand that.

      We had a fuckton of rain yesterday and while trying not to step in the mud while hacking things down, I definitely managed to step right in a muddy puddle and felt the squish plop of a glop of mud getting in my right shoe. I definitely hacked with more rage after that.

    • As a beer drinker I am with you on the fruit flies but as an I-grew-up-poor-as-fuck person I feel no sympathy for you or your wet socks. You simply put plastic grocery bags in your boots (problem solved!) and deal with the wet-socked assholes who made fun of you for being poor by soaking their tuques (sorry Americans, “snow hats” for New England & “winter hats” for the rest of you Americans & wet-socked assholes) with snowballs.

  4. I hate English Ivy and my neighbor’s encroaches on my back patio. I cut it back when I can and tell my landscape dude to go scorched earth on whatever comes over to my side.

    You could always take this guy’s approach (he’s going after ants):

  5. I got horrible poison ivy trying to kill an infestation the first year in our house. I’ve been a lot more careful about washing up since then if I come in the slightest contact with it, but that stuff gets no mercy.

    • Solid choice.

      Part of my problem is one of the neighbors is convinced that the winter creeper is actually poison ivy and he’s very allergic.

      However, I am very rash-prone from poison ivy and he watched me happily pull it out bare-handed, so maybe he’s come around that it’s not poison ivy.

      Also, the leaves don’t look like poison ivy.

  6. Things I feel scorched-earth about are invasives, the assholes who bring invasive aquatic plants & critters to the lakes in my hometown area (because they can’t be arsed to clean off & dry out their damn boats, trucks, & other assorted water-toys after being on dirty, polluted lakes down here in the Cities–like Lake Minnetonka)…

    Folks who try to harm/belittle my kiddos.

    And the asshole with the black pickup truck, who parks in the lot across from our building…

    The asshole who for *whatever* reason still hasn’t taken the damn truck to a mechanic to get the alarm system recalibrated😒😡🤬

    Sooooo every vehicle with moderately loud exhaust, whose exhaust vibrates said Chevy Truck in the slightestmanages to trip said Truck’s alarm system!!!

    So far, on the week, the most triggerings of that alarm in one evening was 11…

    Least was tied at 4-5 alarms going off in one evening.🙃

Leave a Reply