So Close! Almost there! [NOT 3/6/21]

Hi, friends!

It’s almost Friday! It’s so fucking close.

Today at work was a slow-motion dumpster fire. We’re supposed to have a code deployment start and it was delayed delayed delayed delayed because of various problems. Naturally, leadership was like “noooooo don’t reschedule it!” all day but the writing was on the wall by lunch that it needed to be rescheduled.

Welp, after all sorts of flustering and rushed work… guess what happened. You guessed it, still ended up needing to be rescheduled.

Friends, how is your week going? Things winding down? Anyone off work tomorrow and excited about sleeping in?



  1. We hired three new analysts and I ordered them all red Swinglines. 

    They are all 22 though so they probably won’t get the joke. They were born the year the movie came out. 

    • If they don’t get the joke you should move their offices to the basement.

      I don’t comment on the Brain Drains or the Back to Ones because I’m too stupid to know what I think or am talking about in regards to movies and television but I think Stephen Root is a great actor…

      He was hilarious in News Radio.

        • Root is AMAZING, and until I got to the point where I reliably knew who he was, I was completely dumbfounded  by his ability to just completely  morph into his characters.
          The man is an AMAZING character actor, and simply embeds himself in the roles he plays.

          • Same. I love Stephen Root. I LOVED Milton when I finally saw Office Space in college. Perhaps also partly to do with having watched News Radio on a tiny cathode ray tube TV screen, I had to do some work to reconcile Mr. James with Milton. 
            I also think Vincent D’Onofrio has the same incredible knack as a character actor. I seriously didn’t realise he was “Thor” in Adventures in Babysitting. The blonde mullet threw me off.

            • YES, TOO!!!
              HARD same, with D’Onofrio–the fact that he’s Thor, and Goren, AND Edgar from MIB plus everything *else* he’s done is just WILD

              • The character he plays on ‘Barry’ pushes all my hot buttons. I think it was my mother who used to say, if an actor makes you hate them they are doing a good job.

  2. I have to admit that I’m still not over the Leafs blowing ANOTHER series. I know sports don’t matter in the grand scheme of things but this one really stung. In the US there are four major leagues that matter to some so saying the Leafs are the NY Yankees of Canada is an understatement (aside from the fact that the Yankees win, or at least have a chance of winning, some of the time). The entire country would shut down for celebration if the Leafs were to win the Stanley Cup. Experiencing, in person, Canada winning Olympic Gold in Vancouver 2010 (I was at most of the protests surrounding the Olympics, mind you) has made me want to experience the Leafs winning the cup (lol) in my lifetime so much more.

    What could possibly go wrong with a child GM who only knows math and bungled EVERY important contract and a rookie coach almost exactly my age with NO experience? EVERYTHING. Everything goes wrong EVERY year.

    …sparing y’all of a whiny and lengthy post here.

    • I seriously doubt Montreal (and definitely not Quebec the province) would shut down in celebration of the Leafs winning the Stanley Cup. Too much historical, political, and cultural rivalry between us.
      Sorry for the upset. We’re scrappy that way. Don’t worry. Our momentum will fizzle out as it always does…which I guess isn’t really a consolation.

      • @hammerzeitgeist

        Quebec as a province I’ll give you…not MTL. People in MTL have no idea how many Leafs fans live there but Leafs fans do. There would be a parade down rue Saint-Catherine if the Leafs were to win the cup. I hope you live long enough to see it.

        Spoiler alert:
        You won’t. Not because you won’t live a long and fulfilling life but because the Leafs fucking suck…eternally.

    • Solidarity from Timberwolves-land, Myo!💖
      Decades of McHale hiring his buddies….
      I FEEL ya!💖💖💖

      • Our local news is saying ARod is trying to put together a group to buy the Timberwolves & move them to Seattle.  We know that won’t happen because Clay Bennett, the idiot that stole the Sonics is in charge of team relocations.  

  3. This week is fine for the most part. Work isn’t a problem and all the plants are in the ground. Just had the AC people out to look at the unit for the sunroom because i suspected it had a coolant leak and I was right. So that’s $600 down the fucking drain for something that is the fault of the installers and that I’ll wind up dealing with again in about four years. Pro tip: if you’re going to get a ductless AC system make damned sure the company that installs and services it knows what the fuck they’re doing. 

  4. We live in a 100 year old semi-detached brick row home with the original slate roof. The roof stays on via copious burnt offerings to household gods and an excellent slate shingle repair fellow. Our immediate neighbor is having a metal roof replacement on his half of the house this week. I am not sure about the esthetic appeal, and am worried that our roof will start to leak where the midline seal is. But mostly, tomorrow is day 3 of constant loud banging by the roofers, which inspires constant barking from my 4 dog office mates. I yearn for Friday at quitting time.

  5. I gotta say, potty training has gone better than expected. No accidents yesterday or today. Granted, there are tons of false alarms, so we’re erring on that side. He’ll proclaim he needs to go, sit there for fifteen minutes (I’ll keep asking if he’s done and he says no), and then finally get up from an empty potty. I’m not positive if he’s still confused about what his body is telling him, or if he’s just liking the attention using the potty gets him. Most likely the latter, but I figure it’ll settle.
    Meanwhile, we have way too much going on with house maintenance projects. Tomorrow we have someone coming to look at what’s probably a carpenter ant problem. Then we have someone coming to take out the mass of poison ivy in the yard, with roofers and insulation people scheduled… And there’s still more we need to be doing. 
    The stress is getting to everyone a bit. My husband and I had a big fight last night, and Lil is resisting bedtime something fierce, plus rejecting my husband in favor of me (which contributed to the fight).
    I’m ready to be done with this week. Maybe next week will be better? 

    • Hear me out on this before you, as one should, assume I am avocado-trolling again…

      Poke holes on the side, near the bottom, of two styrofoam cups (or anything similar) and cut the cups about an inch from the bottom. Put borax with mashed avocado in them a metre apart from one another where you think the carpenter ants are entering. Wait two or three or four days. Clean up the mess the ants make. Spray white vinegar in said location and that carpenter ant problem will go away real soon.

      Of course you’ll have to live with yourself for murdering a queen and her entire colony but that’s on you. 

      You might ask yourself, “why avocado and why is there no mention of this online?” Don’t be a skeptic…I figured it out by accident after murdering a different kind of ant colony before the carpenter ants took over and I have yet to write an I Did A Thing post about it.

      • Leave it to you to invent a new ant killing method with avocado. But why would you waste a perfectly good avocado? I imagine something sugary would do the trick better.
        We’ve been using borax baits, and that usually takes care of ant problems (took out the tiny ants within a couple of days), but it doesn’t seem to have worked on the carpenter ants. At least that’s what I assume the monsters we keep finding are – they’re an inch long and horrifying. We find a few over the course of the day whenever it’s hot. We can’t tell where they’re coming from. Based on some internet sleuthing, they may be a bunch of new queens looking to establish new nests?? I don’t know, it’s all gross and a little scary for what they may have been up to in our walls and I’m ready to just hand it off to a professional. 

      • I gotta try this the next time I find carpenter ants. Periodically they show up in my house, foraging I assume, but they make me very nervous. So write up that post so I can find it later. 

    • Toilets don’t make intuitive sense to kids, and the reality is they can still have accidents after they go weeks or months of none, or they’ll go through a phase of false alarms. You’re right, it’ll settle.

  6. Well, tomorrow I have to get up too goddamn early and get ready to let in the technician who’ll be fixing my dryer — and, even more hopefully, be done with the work by the time I have to leave to interpret for an arraignment in court a 90-minute drive from here. But if that’s the one pain in the ass I have to deal with this week, I suppose I can take it — especially since the other thing I’m working on (literally) on the side is translating a neuropsych exam of another interpreter who’s worked for two of the same employers I have and has been going through some jerk brain shit since getting sick with COVID-19 last year. 

      • Medical and legal, for Spanish.
        About a year ago, a recruiter found me on LinkedIn and invited me to apply for a part-time position doing video interpreting from home. My hours and wages from my regular interpreting job with the agency had pretty much taken a nosedive when the pandemic hit, and the agency’d done some shady shit after becoming eligible for the PPP loan, so I took her up on the offer, and they ended up taking me on.
        Of course, after the demand for the agency started to increase but my hours and wages didn’t go up with it (because of even more shady shit on the agency’s part), I decided to go for it when some full-time positions started opening up, and they ended up taking me on for that as well.
        So, yeah, I get PTO, a 401(k) and the first insurance coverage that I haven’t had to pay out of pocket in more than 20 years of working experience. Of course, getting that PTO is a bitch and a half right now because there’s literally nothing else available for the rest of the summer. In order to be able to take time off to drive down and back for this thing tomorrow, I had to trade with someone else and work a couple of extra hours of their shift for two days this week.

  7. having worked all week with tempratures pushing 80f its finally almost weekend
    sooo..obviously theres rain expected later and temps will drop about 20 degrees
    shit aint fair yo
    also i absolutely wacked the shit out of my funny bone yesterday…apparently i cannot walk through a doorway and put my backpack on at the same time without hurting myself
    its still ringing….gonna be a pretty bruise

    • just mentioning “walk through a doorway and put my backpack on” and I think I can see how that would happen, and how much I don’t want to experience it.
      Another reason I love messenger bags – granted, they aren’t great for managing heavier loads, but for light/casual stuff, I love them.  (also, I don’t wear them “properly”, but if you are going to wear them “properly” you may as well wear a backpack…), they are easily accessible, pretty easy to don/doff singlehandedly without weird contortions, and since they aren’t on my back, I tend to be a lot cooler/less sweaty then when I’m wearing a backpack.

  8. JFC i HATE this shit… the reports from random news sources about Mpls being full of rioters & on fire are complete bullshit.
    But we DID basically have what amounts to a bonfire happening on Lake Street, a block from my building a couple hours ago, annnnnd now all the little opportunist shits are out breaking windows & trying to “shop for free” all over again….
    I’ll link what I have later on, but it’s just literal roving packs of young folks out bent on breaking shit & stealing whatever they can steal/don’t just destroy instead.

    • The shooting today happened half a block or so from my building… I was still at the school, so FINE, snd literally miles away…
      But the whole thing sounds incredibly STUPID & frustratingly ham-handed…
      Like, HOW does law enforcement even begin to think that there would be ALL SORTS of bullshit, if the takedown went sideways (like it DID!😖😱😬🤨)…
      WHO in the fuck signed off on it, is what I want to know… DAYS from the anniversary of George Floyd’s death, COMPLETELY a year ago, to the destruction afterward….
      What GODDAMNED IDIOT signed off, on “taking this dude down,” *IN MINNEAPOLIS, THIS MOTHERFUCKING WEEK?!?!???* And DIDN’Thave the whit of common motherfucking SENSE, to understand EXACTKY THIS SHIT would come out of that.
      Fucking DUMBASSES.😒😒😒

      • I hot autocorrected again–i meant to say, “HOW does law enforcement even begin to think that there *wouldn’t*  be ALL SORTS of bullshit…🙃

  9. Yesterday I was on a zoom call with 124 other people from 10 am to 4 pm. Today I’m taking my whisky you can drink list,  to the liquor store.

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