Stop Going to the White House You Fucking Cowards

No one asked Kurt Suzuki to go to the White House.

No one told him to purchase a “Make America Great Again” hat. No one told him to relay this information to Papaya Pol Pot himself, Donald Trump, just as Trump didn’t ask for Trump to respond my rubbing his tiny hands all over Suzuki’s body.

None of this was necessary. Fans of the Washington Nationals showed unequivocally where they stand on Donald Trump when they booed him to hell during Game 5 of the World Series; they do not fuck with him. Remove Kurt Suzuki getting aggressively spooned by Ronald McDonald’s uglier, grosser fraternal twin brother and you still wonder why the Nats even bothered taking a dumb, unnecessary photo ops with a President currently going through the impeachment process.

Why is this still a thing? Is it about the appearance of normalcy? Does it make us as Americans feel nice if we forget the fact that the President is (allegedly) a criminal, a rapist, a racist, and a corrupt asshole? Do we get to close our eyes and cover our ears and forget that this is a man so completely unfit for the office of President of the United States that not even he wanted to do the job?

No. We don’t. We live every day with the reality that the leader of the Free world is a man child, a narcissist and deeply incapable of giving a shit. Donald Trump molesting Kurt Suzuki might be the closest we’ve seen to Trump experiencing actual joy, as his entire life is buoyed by people’s approval for him. Every other time a team shows up at the White House is a terse affair of mostly white men, but none brave enough to admit they actually like Trump, at least not this side of Bill Belichick and Robert Kraft.

Trump’s isolation from the real world is such that he rarely ever experienced the level of scorn he did when he visited Nats Park, and again when he went to Madison Square Garden. Those images should’ve been the proof sports teams not named the Golden State Warriors needed that going to the White House was no longer worth it. The fans have spoken. Wherever Trump goes, perhaps even in the red states, he will (and should!) get booed.

That is our thoughts on Trump. The fans were brave enough to say “to hell with pretending I respect this man”. You don’t have to do this.

There is no normalcy now. There is no need to respect a tradition born from Ronald Reagan’s worse impulses to appear moderately more human. Donald Trump is not normal.

I’ll say it again for those in the back; Donald Trump is not normal. Stop treating him like it is.

Be brave like your fans and treat the motherfucker with the scorn he deserves.

And bathe in Purell tonight, Kurt Suzuki.

About KC Complains A Lot 135 Articles
KC Complains A Lot is another refugee from Deadspin. He enjoys writing and not caving to pressure from herbs.

6 Comments

  1. I imagine getting touched by trumps hands is like the strong hand from Scary movie 2 being rubbed all over you… I’m sorry for that image

  2. This made me glad that 1) the Orioles (despite their everlasting shittiness) are my hometown team and 2) I’m actually a Cubs fan (we won the Series before the shitstain took office and probably won’t again).

  3. Totally spot on. The desire to wring normalcy out of this presidency just has not gone away among entirely too many people. It is beyond frustrating.

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