Whoa. It’s been a minute since I attempted to launch this feature. I’ll try to do better.
So what spurs today’s post? Simple. I’m at my comic shop and McGee, behind the counter, mentions that the new Batman issue is good.
“Nah, not for me,” I reply to his low-key sales pitch.
“Why not?’
“Batman requires too much suspension of disbelief. I can’t deal with it.”
“But he’s the hero without super powers!”
“Exactly.”
When Batman was created in the 30s by Bob Kane AND Bill Finger (we may talk about that one day), thugs and crooks were typically armed with handguns. Limited number of rounds, lower accuracy, all that. It was possible to think that a highly trained martial artist/athlete could, in fact, dodge gunfire, particularly with the element of surprise. (Did you know Batman carried a gun in his first few stories? We may talk about that someday, too.) Even so, early Batman did not take on armed gangs — he operated on a smaller scale, chasing after single criminals, for the most part.
But today? Today we have weaponry undreamt of in the 1930s, easily available for purchase. High-capacity magazines. Semiautomatic fire (easily upgraded to automatic). A guy in a cape, no matter what level of “training,” wouldn’t last five seconds against a single armed opponent, much less a gang.
“But he’s trained himself to human perfection” the fanboys cry. Sorry, no. Nobody dodges bullets more than once or twice. Even that dude who used to catch them in his teeth (under highly controlled circumstances) slipped up eventually. So no, I can’t accept that anybody runs around in Spandex dodging bullets.
What’s the fix, then? So maybe he wears armor? Not a bad idea. I mean, police and military wear body armor, right? Makes a lot of sense. And actually, the more recent movie, The Batman, with Robert Pattinson, did more overtly depict a Batman in armor. Problem is, to actually protect him, armor would be pretty bulky. It would also need to provide some kind of exoskeleton to keep the force of the bullet(s) from knocking Batman down. And then Batman becomes Iron Man, with a cape. (If you remember the animated series Batman Beyond, that’s precisely how it was handled — excellent show, BTW.)
Okay, so we posit some super secret Wayne Tech armor that’s ultra thin but still provides a serious boost in muscle, just like Batman Beyond. Great! Except that’s not what comic writers do. They’ve still got him running around in a costume without any enhancements, fighting through horrendous injuries, grimly winning through dogged … perseverance? It. just. doesn’t. work.
The thing about Batman is that if you’re going to make him a basically costumed human, you have to complete rethink his whole deal. Or, more accurate, take him back to basics. Batman was originally created as a costumed detective, using his brains to solve crimes from the shadows, rarely seen or confronted by crooks. Not tangling with heavily armed crooks. So why don’t comic publishers do that?
Honestly, I think because it would take both talent and work. It’s pretty easy to turn in a 22-page story of Batman in a vicious fight with … I dunno, drug dealers. It’s much more difficult to write a plausible mystery that needs to be solved by brainpower, rather than fisticuffs.
And that’s why I’ve got a Batman problem.
I have a batman problem too.
How the hell does Christian Bale talk like that without losing his voice?
I haven’t watched Batman Beyond since it first aired. I know what I’m doing tonight.
*looks up who streams it these days*
…there are great batman stories…some of them…problematic…like the killing joke…but the OG dark knight returns for one…& year one for another…or…& this one might be a soft-spot for me…the arc where the justice league do something they don’t think he’d agree to & wipe his memory so they can avoid the whole thing
…but it turns out even his paranoia has paranoia & the level of redundant contingencies he has stuff in place for means that something feels off & a hop, skip & a jump later he’s basically knocked them all into a cocked hat & they have to ‘fess up before he gets to the part they wouldn’t be able to walk off
…but I still agree with you…even when they did the “family” stuff where they started farming it out as a franchise gig internationally didn’t really overcome most of it
…another way I’ve heard it put…which I think the bat family inc. stuff tried but didn’t ultimately succeed in trying to do something with…is that like iron man his superpower is really money
…but once you frame it that way the fact he’s spending insane money on experimental tech to help him run around in fancy dress punching low-level thugs & going round after round with psychotic villains rather than putting a dent in issues like public health or medical research or civil engineering or whatever is at best psychologically…uncomplimentary?
…in its original format the wish fulfillment angle of a guy who could do things the reader couldn’t dream of that included foiling the criminals…& getting the vicarious satisfaction of being able to sock ’em in the jaw…was enough…& nobody blinked at the underage sidekick thrown in harm’s way
…but now at least one robin’s been brutally murdered (& come back to life, been a villain for a bit & I think is currently all redeemed & angst-ridden good guy again) the whole “dude, you need to admit you are damaged & a lot of shit is fucked. up.” part is hard to ignore
…even trying to distract people by having him marry catwoman seemed less crazy than a lot of his standard fare?
…then again…some of the adjacent stuff like the gotham PD run or the short written from a henchman’s perspective on the day he gets out of his latest spell in the joint…can be gems that wouldn’t work without the bat-shaped shadow they fall in…so I’d still be sorry to see them call time on the whole character
…like you say…needs to be written better than it generally gets to be
Batman just plays into the tortured poor rich boy stereotype for me.
Dude is super rich and powerful? And has major unresolved trauma from seeing his parents murdered?
GET THERAPY
Then invest in Gotham City infrastructure and social services. He keeps catching villains but not doing anything to reduce the crime.
Okay, now I have another Batman problem. Thanks.
Yeah, it’s true that there are MUCH more effective ways for Bruce Wayne to “help” Gotham. Again, treating Batman more like Sherlock Holmes with a cosplay fetish solving obscure and difficult crimes makes more sense than the whole “dark avenger” waging urban warfare. The farther the character gets from that original concept the more implausible it becomes.
I enjoyed the TV series Peacemaker with John Cena, which I guess is a DC comic?
He’s not really a superhero, just a guy with John Cena muscles, and he goes up against some superpowered villians, but nothing so powerful it seems like a stretch.
Peacemaker was hysterical. Obviously it’s a lot different than his depiction in the comics, which is actually okay by me. I don’t mind when characters are taken in another direction — I actually prefer it to slavishly attempting to recreate the original comics (looking at you, The Walking Dead).