Things that make you go huh [NOT 14/8/22]

Hi, friends!

Happy Sunday! I hope your weekend went well.

Tonight’s NOT topic is what objects etc just confuse you with their existence?

I keep seeing facebook ads for wooden stove covers. As in a block of wood like a cutting board thickness that is designed to sit on top of your gas stove.

Does not compute. Looks like a fire waiting to happen. I remember in the 90s an aunt had a metal cover to her electric stove and that made more sense.

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27 Comments

  1. I was picking up seltzer the other day to mix with juice and I noticed a bunch of “alkaline water” on the shelf which got me wondering — how alkaline can it be and could it possibly be very akaline and still be drinkable.

    It turns out those bottles have only a trace amount of alkalinity and in the overall context of your body, your stomach, your blood and your tissues, and all of the food you eat, that’s nothing — you could drink bottle after bottle and get maybe the equivalent of 1/8 teaspoon of baking soda.

    It sounds like some people need to change the pH in their diets for things like stomach health, but the impact of things like eliminating citrus and soft drinks would matter vastly more than drinking this stuff. But obviously people pay a premium for it.

  2. When people modify perfectly good cars to the pint of making them useless. You know what I’m talking about. Suspensions that fall apart upon sight of a pothole or tires that hydroplane when someone spits in the road.

      • Because Missouri is often in a competition with Arkansas and Alabama for “fucking stupidest rednecks,” I actually know someone who has a tattoo that says ‘minitrucker’ because of course that was a smarter thing to spend money on than diapers for their kid.

      • Yes, but as someone who has spent time in California and appreciates low-rider culture, I can tell you that a ’62 Apache pickup lowered all around and painted in candy-apple red is cool AF.  If it’s on hydraulics, it’s extra cool.

        • In a recent comment you mentioned that you used to live in central CA. Did you ever get down to LA, the city and the county? You don’t see a lot of low-riders in Beverly Hills or West Hollywood, but if you go into East LA or some of the towns east of LA-the-city a mundane trip to a local strip mall can be like attending a low-rider rally.

          I only know this because Better Half and I used to go to LA quite a bit and we’d stay in Beverly Hills and hang out in West Hollywood (and other places; my friends live in West LA or the beach towns) but we’d almost always pair this with a side trip to Palm Springs. Whenever I was at the wheel I’d say, en route, “let’s take this exit and get [gas/food for the road] and see what’s around.”

          God knows what the locals thought when we’d pull up in our economy rental car with out-of-state plates and go to the drive-thru window at the local Carl’s Jr. or the Pollo Loco. I was once pumping gas somewhere on the eastern edge of LA county and a guy drove up (not a low-rider, sadly) and he got out of his beater and panhandled me in Spanglish. I gave him a couple of bucks and he drove off. Describing this to a waiting-in-the-car oblivious Better Half I said, “Well, that’s something you don’t see in Manhattan, drive-up panhandling. Travel really does broaden the mind.”

          • Sure, when I lived in San Luis Obispo, I got all up and down the West Coast.  I didn’t get to visit East LA that often, but I got over there a lot more than I did Beverly Hills.  I’m not crazy about LA because I don’t like traffic or crowds though.  But you don’t have to go to East LA to see lowriders and pachuco culture.  We’d drive down to Arroyo Grande or Grover Beach for the car shows and swap meets and even in SLO or Shell Beach there was enough ethic diversity that you could always be close to California’s Hispanic roots.

            • California swap meets are the best. That’s what I really kept my eye out for doing my somewhat circuitous self-devised drives heading vaguely east, ultimately to wind up in Palm Springs. “Oh look, there’s a swap meet over in [whatever town advertised itself on a spray-painted bedsheet erected near the state route I had chosen]” and we’d take the exit, gas up, and then go to the swap meet and eat from the food trucks and paw the merchandise.

              Usually a lot of it was sad in a number of different ways, but I still remember this mint-condition art-deco chiffonier-like beauty that was going for peanuts. If you know what a chiffonier is, you know it can’t fit in the backseat or the trunk of an LAX-provided Hertz fuel-efficient rental car with out-of-state plates, so I had to leave it behind. Not to mention that it was not exactly carry-on luggage.

      • Nooooo….

        The stupidest thing are the trucks with idiot-rims, and low-profile tires!🙄🙄🙄

        Low-pro tires are THE WOOOOOOOORST!!!

        And putting them on a Truck?!?!???

        Duuuuuuuumb, and ASKING for bent rims & tire-blowouts!

        At least with a dropped truck,you *remember* that you shouldn’t be driving very fast, because you might hit a pothole & scrape off a muffler or something else that’s important–like your back axle!😉💖

        • While I equally hate over raised trucks, the only reason to have a truck is to haul shit.  You can’t do that if you bottom out when you put anything in it.

  3. I’ve been seeing those lately too. Where are you supposed to store it when you’re using the stove?

    A few years ago someone here had what they thought was a great idea for a new doggie pooper scooper. They left a box of them at a dog park, asking people to try it and leave a review on their website. It was basically a banana hair clip. There are so many things wrong with this design, lol. I do not want to get my bare hands that close to a pile of dog shit. Did they expect the user to carry the pile in this weird claw to the garbage can? And what did they want the user to do with it afterwards? Is it supposed to be disposable? That’s a lot of wasted plastic. Carry it around soiled? Gross! My friends and I had a good laugh about it. It looked like the level in the box went down a little but eventually someone must of came and taken it away. I wish I had looked at the website to see if anyone left comments.

  4. its 5:40 am and ive got my living room down to 80f

    i really dont want to put my thick work jeans on

    in fact….im going to be late for work coz standing outside in the dark in my underwear sounds like a better use of my time

    i dont think i’ll bother lying about why i’m late either

  5. PS: We only stayed on the fringe of Beverly Hills because Better Half used to travel a lot and that company’s hotel chain of choice was the Hilton brand, and he was allowed to hoard hotel points, so we stayed at the Beverly Hilton. I highly recommend.

    A couple of times we stayed at the Hilton near LAX out of necessity which is also quite stylish in a retro-1980s Dynasty way. The Beverly Hilton is very Mad Men and is my hotel of choice.

    One time at the LAX Hilton the night before our flight I managed to crash a wedding. Yes. We thought it was a hotel club because there was a line in front of this function room and I could hear music playing. It was a Saturday night, we were dressed kind of stylishly, by LA standards, so we joined it. And then we were issued kippahs and once inside…

    I said to Better Half, “We’re at a wedding, I think. That’s a huppah. We have to go.” Mazel tov to the happy couple, whoever you are!

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