Told You So [NOT 29/3/22]

29/3/22 brightersideoflife 26

Hi, friends!

Tonight’s theme: situations where you said “I told you so” either directly or in not so many words.

Friends, for the past few weeks my teams have been bitching and moaning about needing some process changes for how we work. I completely agree with them that (1) our current process is shitty, (2) our current process is not efficient, and (3) how they want to change it is the right conceptual approach. Today were meetings 4 and 5* about this topic.

HOWEVER

It’s me and 6 dudes and I swear to god my thoughts are considered less valuable because I don’t have a penis. To the point that I’ve had comments I’ve made that got ignored then a dude says them and suddenly “he’s making a very good point.” Or I express concerns about the practicality of an idea and I got shot down “it won’t be like that.”

FURTHERMORE

For these 6 dudes, this is ultimately a philosophical point because all the actual work on these items is currently done by me because the two other people who also did this quit and haven’t been replaced. So like I see their points, but I’m already spending 8-10 hours a week doing this and all the short term things they want to do will honestly take about 150 hours for completion, unless other people step up and assist me. Not to mention their ideas for longer term solutions will add about 5-10 hours a week until it becomes the accepted new practice. I still agree that this is the right path to go, but I need some fucking help.

Finally today in meeting 4 I was like “hey this bottlenecks with me, and that’s bad” and “hey I will need help for this if you want to implement it” and finally when I got sick of them acting like *we’re all in this together* but not volunteering to do anything, I went with “listen I have a lot of other work and I flat out don’t have the time to do what you’re saying because I know the teams won’t do _____ and everyone will put it on me to do.” Naturally, I was assured by the dudes that no no, the teams will step up and do this extra work.

HAHAHAHAHA then we have our team meeting and lo and behold, exactly what I told them would happen, happens. Mind you, all these dudes are also on that meeting and as I am sure you’ve determined, still not expressing any willingness to assist.

Meeting 5 on this topic starts, and these dudes are like “wow I guess we need to reconsider what you said earlier” and I flat out said yeah I told you so, I’ve done this for over a year and I know how they operate and how no one makes them behave differently. Also, I very nicely pointed out that I had no back up from any of them on anyone else helping me, so yeah. I ended the call with “please feel free to ask my VP what work they don’t want me to do if this is the process change path they wish to continue with.”

*I did not want 5 meetings on this topic. Meeting 6 is tomorrow morning. I hate meetings.

So friends, what lately has been an “I told you so” situation for you?

avataravataravataravataravataravataravataravataravataravataravataravataravataravataravataravatar

26 Comments

  1. I was visiting my mother and she was trying to convince me for the eleventy-billionth time that my brother isn’t the Biggest Piece Of Shit In Human History and has Really Changed, is Not The Same Person He Once Was, blah, blah, fucking blah.  I told her, “you’ve been telling me this bullshit for over 30 years and you’ve been wrong every single time.  He has not changed, and he will not change.  All the bullshit he pulled when Dad died was shit I knew he would do before he even did it.  So, please stop.”

    Anyway, just this morning I got a text from her that my shitbag brother “took his son out to dinner” last night.  When it came time for the bill, lo and behold he “didn’t have any money” and my nephew had to pony up for the meal that he was, theoretically, being taken out for.  She will never stop pretending that he’s anything other than the fucking useless asshole he’s always been.  I’ve told her more than once to stop making excuses for him, but she won’t listen, so I generally take the position that I don’t want to hear anything about him.  She goes along with this, for the most part but just can’t help herself when I’m there in person.

    • I have the same conversation with my good sister about my lousy sister. Lately I’ve been sort of pretending to go along with it to make the sister I love happy. But I will never let my guard down. I know she’s the same selfish, manipulative, sneaky liar she’s always been.

    • I can relate to this, somewhat. I’ll never know what it is like to have someone come out of my vagina (that I obviously don’t have) but I will never – and believe me, I have tried on several occasions – forgive my brothers for taking advantage of my mom repeatedly over the years.

      I try not to trash my brothers to my mom because I am thankful that she is aware of reality enough to refrain from tolerating their bs.

      I am proud of her…even though I’ll never be in a position in which I can judge her for loving those who came out of her vagina. She understands that reciprocity is a thing…so I choose to leave “well enough” alone.

  2. That sounds like some straight out of an Office Space sequel bullshit!  Sorry you have to deal with that.  When I was on the fringes at MS I saw how much time was wasted with meetings that didn’t need to happen other than free catered lunch & people justifying their jobs.  99% of attendees knew it but didn’t stop anything.  Good luck.

    As for I told you so, I learned my lesson on ever saying that being married for 20+ years.  Now even if I know it I just bite my tongue & STFU!

  3. I’m having an I told you so moment with myself (always trust your gut my friends). I gave a family member the benefit of the doubt that they would not be a narcissist asshole even though I know this to be their true nature. It took less than a day for them to talk shit about me to my mom behind my back. Of course their intention was for me to catch wind of it from my mom and then to be the dutiful Asian daughter and comply to their demands. Little do they realize that they have zero power over me other than to piss me off. My politely stated boundaries* remain and they can continue to live in wonder as to why no one puts effort into maintaining a relationship with them.

    *Wear a mask around me and my unvaccinated children!

  5. I feel your pain. Your best move was when you said “ask my boss what I can stop doing”. Anyway, rolling my eyes on your behalf because some things never change. Also, if a person is involved in marketing, design, or content creation, then everyone thinks that they can do a better job….

  6. So, off topic but I fell down my stairs today. Fortunately I didn’t break anything but I’m pretty banged up. I’m going to have some serious bruises tomorrow.

  8. Late to the party ’cause I was out last night.

    I have a condition I call Cassandra’s Disease after the mythological Greek prophet that made true predictions but was cursed so no one would believe her.

    I constantly tell (told) people at work what was going to happen as a result of specific actions. Every time it came true, they either a) conveniently forgot that I warned them or b) blamed me.

    In my first professional job, we had a huge turnover problem (it was a burn-and-churn shop, which is business speak for a company that hires cheap staff, burns them out, and just hires more when they leave). I looked at the list of former employees and quitting dates, and did a straight average showing that a person quit every 13 days. I told my friends and we would wait for the next resignation and it was NEVER wrong because math. Someone in management heard about it, and the VP of my department called me out about the “computer program” I created that was making people quit. She blamed me for a problem that existed before I ever started there.

    In my most recent job, we had a three-year vesting period for the 401k. Essentially, at your 3-year anniversary, your 401k contributions were doubled by the company. About 50% of the people who reached 3 years quit immediately after getting vested. It was so common that it was a running joke among staff. “Hey, it’s my 3-year anniversary.” “Oh, it’s been nice working with you.” I twice predicted resignations to my boss based on that information and she got mad at me because I was “negative.” I hate that term, by the way. Reality is neither positive nor negative. It just IS. I was just trying to help her know what to expect because I was a manager and I thought it was my duty to be truthful, and I got blamed.

    Yes, I can see the train coming down the track, but I’m just not going to bother to tell you. I’m gonna stand over there and wait for the inevitable.

Leave a Reply