Turnips are the WORST, veggie edition [NOT 7/1/21]

image of turnips which I wrote Ewwww! over
If only they were jicama. Or something else tasty.

What vegetable do you dislike the most? Do you think it’s just because you haven’t had it “prepared the right way”?

Also, I don’t care if technically it’s a fruit or a tuber or whatever, if colloquially it’s vegetable, qualifies for this post. I’m not going to tell any of my friends here that a tomato isn’t vegetable enough to complain about.

I can’t stand turnips. I love other root veggies. I’ve got parsnips and butternut squash roasting with rosemary as we speak. Potatoes are great. Sweet potatoes are great. I also have fennel and lima beans braising right now. (It was a rough day, I needed to cook my feelings.) I’ll eat fennel raw in salads. Radishes? Jicama? Carrots? Bring it.

But turnips? Fuck ’em. Can’t deal with them at all. I don’t even like turnip greens.

Please complain about your vegetable dislikes. Ask for cooking advice if you want.

Has anyone cooked spaghetti or butternut squash in the microwave? I saw online that it’s possible, but I’m also imagining a squash exploding. But also I’m lazy.



    • Ugh they just taste like bitter dirt to me when I roast them. 

      Chard also tastes like dirt to me, but there are other greens I love.

      I would think my turnip issues stem from buying old ones in a grocery store, but I’ve tried fresh ones from farmer’s markets here in St. Louis and in ye olde grad school days in Alabama. 

      • Well, don’t roast them, then.
        Peel and slice them super thin and toss raw with soy sauce, rice vinegar and sesame oil.
        Peel and boil them with potatoes then drain them. Cook chopped carrots and onions in lots of butter and salt until they’re super soft, then add the turnips and potatoes and mash them all up with more butter.

      • brighter, next time you’re in the vicinity of the Blue Ridge Mountains, you come see us and we’ll make turnips and chard that will put a smile on your face.  And, you can pet my donkey, which I know sounds sexual, but I’m referring to an actual donkey.

        • In addition to my mouth, my intestines also have a strong aversion to chard. So this is unlikely. 

          But I’d happily hang out and enjoy the mountains. Some dear friends live near them and it’s lovely. Most years I visit in the fall for a long weekend, sadly covid ruined that in 2020. 

  1. Everything in that fucked up turnip-type family of root vegetables are total shit.  Including, but not limited to:  beets, parsnips, and rutabagas.  I used to work at this super high end restaurant and they used these fucking things all the time.  I’d never had them before so had no preconcieved notions, plus we were doing the master chef thing on them, so I figured they’d be pretty good.  Nope.  Fucking garbage–all of them.  If I had been a customer and dropped the kind of money we were charging for that shit I would have definitely asked for my money back.

    • Beets I don’t mind pickled, and I’ve had roasted golden beets that were good. I’ve never actually eaten rutabaga, but it’s because usually it just looks old and crappy in the store. 

    • Damn, what’s up with all the root veggie haters here? I can’t say I eat turnips or parsnips often, but when I’ve had them, I’ve enjoyed them (especially mashed). And I used to hate beets, thought they tasted like dirt, but my mom loves them so they were around a lot and I kept trying. There’s a weird point where you acquire the taste and they start tasting sweet and delicious. I’d still describe the taste as earthy, but no longer in a bad way. 

  2. Beets taste like dirt. And don’t get me started on celery and fennel. And if we’re including herbs (is an herb a vegetable?) then dill and cilantro can fuck all the way off. I said what I said. 

  3. My mom is from NOLA & while I love most of that cities cuisine I never liked collard greens or okra.  Especially when okra gets slimey!  She made some amazing things but those are two I couldn’t handle.

  4. Turnips are amazing! I like them raw best. Have you tried that? I swear they can even actually be sweet sometimes! I love veggies. I have been called a rabbit many times in my life… ( 👀 lookin at you, @k2bdamansaysineedalongername ). The only veggies I can say I dislike are cilantro and Jerusalem artichokes. I really can’t think of any others. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

  5. I do not care for sweet potatoes or yams. Especially when baked with crushed pineapple and baby marshmallows. Or is that only a local county thing? Sweet vegetables are confusing to me. 

  6. I like turnip as they are but for those who dislike turnips might I recommend roasting with olive oil, a few (or more) full garlic cloves, chopped onion, a bit of maple syrup and some crushed walnuts?

    • Usually I do it with carrots and butternut squash but it works the same for turnip and sweet potatoes as well. Or all or some together.

      If you’re really feeling adventurous, toss in a few cloves and a sprinkle or two of cinnamon.

  7. I try not to be picky about vegetables as a vegetarian, but I have some textural issues with veggies that get slimy. That usually means I’m not a fan of mushroom dishes, though it depends – white button mushrooms in a salad or on pizza are just fine. I only like okra if it’s fried, and big pieces of roasted peppers are not my favorite. So I don’t think I have any veggies that are always a no-go, but several that I’m wary of. 
    Also I hate bananas with a fiery passion. They’re not a vegetable, but I still feel like that statement belongs here. I can detect the slightest hint of banana in something (especially smoothies that don’t list them as an ingredient) and it ruins it. 

  8. I love turnips in a beef stew or roasted.
    I just got my misfits market report for 2020 and the vegetable I ordered most often was celery. MIRE POIX, baby, that is the essence of life.
    Zucchini is the worst. Tasetless and mushy and everywhere. ugh

    • Oh, I forgot to mention zucchini and summer squash (they’re the same thing). I’m not opposed to eating them, but they’re pointless, tasteless, and usually mushy. If you slice them thin and grill them, they’re fine, but at that point you’re just tasting barbeque. 

  9. Hate mushrooms. I don’t care for the taste or texture. I have never met a brussel sprout I liked. They are little green farts (no I am not interested in roasting them with bacon or whatever, that’s a waste of bacon – save these for people who like them). I also don’t like red/green peppers, which also seem to be in EVERYTHING. I get it, they’re cheap and they add color, but they taste like burnt garbage. 

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