Economist of the Year: Trump

Humanitarian Organization of the Year: MAGA

Cruel Joke Organization of the Year: Fill in the blank Immigrants For Trump

Nobel Prize for Psychiatry: That Dipshit Grifter from UO

The Lt Wolfe* (from Platoon) Profile In Leadership: Pete Kegsbreath

Snatching Defeat From the Jaws of Victory: PP

Profiles in Courage: The Entire Trump Cabinet

Relationship of the Year: Kristy Gnome and her wife beating beau

Salesperson of the Year: whoever sold Krusty Gnome jets with no engines

Blue Falconer Of the Year: Pete Kegsbreath

Profiles in Sportsmanship And Racism: Andy Cuomo

The Mme Lafarge Knitting Prize: Tech Brahs and most if not all CEOs

Most Tasteful Wedding of the Year: Jeff Bozos

Smartest Person In Any Room: Joe Rogaine

Workplace Peace Prize: MC

Most Secure Men In the World: The Manosphere (but don’t make fun of their small dicks!) Tied with Tech Brahs and their daddy issues.

Richest Broke Dick Prize: Enol Skum

Inanimate Carbon Rod of the Year Award: Inanimate Carbon Rod!

Wait one… it seems someone is crying and pissing that they should win the award! Inanimate carbon rod of the year goes to… Donald Trump. Don’t mind me… I have some money to spend.

/Are you fucking kidding me? Melania Coin? I got ripped off!!/

*Lt Wolfe is usually shown as an example of what not to be as a platoon leader.