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  2. Wow, you’re insane. You don’t like Snickers?? I get that some people find the texture and tooth-stickiness of Butterfingers unappealing (I love it), but no one hates Snickers!
     
    I hate anything with white chocolate. White chocolate just tastes like sweetened Crisco. 

    • You can actually make your own far superior white chocolate very cheaply and easily. All you do is [Stop typing, Mattie, stop typing. Close the browser and get away from the monitor…]

        • I have to go back into the archives for this. The last time I made it was three or four years ago. I remember cocoa butter, sugar, something else, a little vanilla extract…A double boiler. Here’s a good tip. If you come across a recipe that calls for a double boiler, heat a saucepan half-filled with water to boiling. Over it, place a bowl, it shouldn’t touch the water, metal works best I’ve found. In the bowl put in the ingredients that your recipe calls for. That’s a DIY double boiler.
           
          I remember the white chocolate doesn’t require a candy thermometer, which is another good thing about it. When it’s done pour it into something shallow that can take the heat, smooth it so there’s a flat surface on top, and refrigerate. I have this vintage ceramic candy dish in the shape of Santa’s face (don’t ask) so I pour it into that. Then, when it’s chilled and hardened, I pop it out onto a plate with the top/flat side down and Santa’s face staring up. Dig in! 

          • I’ve got a small saucier (sloped sides, no corners) that fits nicely in a larger saucepan (straight sides, flat bottom). When stacked together, the handle of the saucier keeps it suspended a few inches above the base of the saucepan. I highly recommend this setup for an improvised double boiler, especially if you’re short on metal mixing bowls.

      • In your defense (and in Butcher’s?) I should likely refrain from…

        wait…licorice root tea is my bag so to speak. It’s good for you, too.

        I feel I have lived the wrong life because in the right life I should have been at some of those Cousin Matthew shindigs of which you speak.

        Dark rum sucks, though…point me toward the olive platter.

  3. Snickers & Butterfingers are awesome & even better in ice cream form but the sticky tooth thing of butterfingers is annoying. Peeps are an abomination that should die in the pits of hell!  

  8. Candy Bars, Ranked (by a vegan who no longer eats them):

    1. Peanut butter Oh Henry!
    2. Crispy Crunch
    3. Mr. Big (when they used to live up to their name)
    4. Getting hit by the Paper Boy invoice from the publication bus when you spent all of the collection money filling your paper bag with Crispy Crunch’s and Mr. Big’s
    5. Butterfingers

        • I Googled it. The Crispy Crunch sounds like a Clark bar, I liked those as a kid. The Mr. Big looks nasty. And surprisingly neither of them appears to have any avocado in them.

              • Welp! I haven’t been on I5 or taken my weekly drive up the Sea To Sky highway since 2010 but let me guess?

                Assuming one goes through White Rock without going through it through it, one would be there. And if you drive around Surrey to Delta and Annacis Island, one would be there…but going through Richmond, you’d pass three before you reach YVR (but you’d have to go out of your way) and then 4 (or 8 depending on how far out of the way)? before False Creek (if you go out of your way). 

                You’d pass 6 or so (depending on the way) before Stanley Park. There used to be one near the Studio where shows like X-Files were shot (watching X-Files is awesome if you know Vancouver because every episode prior to Duchovny whining about weather which  moved it to LA is like a game of  “guess where Vancouver”) but I don’t think it is there anymore. 

                Then you’d hit the Trans-Canada in West Van and although there is a great “we’re us but not them” spot in Horseshoe Bay, I don’t think there would be a Tim Horton’s until you reach Squamish…which, btw, has a great brew your own beer spot…and a Tim Horton’s…but other than a few killer whales and unnecessary dynamite of mountain, you see little else until you get there.  

                There is pretty much nothing but beautiful boonies the rest of the way (at least until the 2010 Olympics) so the next one would have to be in Whistler…one in which no one shows any type of respect because only hoity toity beaner-hat wearers even go there in the first place? (no offense) and another one that I doubt anyone has been to since Tim Horton played hockey…even though it wasn’t there then.

                How’d I do?

                 

                • You got more than me, we usually do truck crossing & skip Van unless we have time to get out Asian food fix or do North Van Earls.  Not sure what brew your own beer place, bern to Howe Sound & some other small brewery near it.  I hope they let us in again soon, I miss BC

  10. “cream and cookies”/”oreo” flavored stuff is bullshit. 
    The only good thing about oreos is the filling, and all they put in “cream and cookies” stuff is aquarium carbon.

  12. 1. Chocolate and Orange is the BEST flavor combination, followed by a tie between Chocolate/mint, and chocolate/maple.
     
    2. Aside from Bit-o-Honey (individually wrapped, not that “candy bar” nonsense!), ALL candy with Almonds is TRASH CANDY.
    But Bit-o-Honey is DELIGHTFUL!
     
    3. Peeps must be properly aged (so they get that slight “crust” of sugar, rather than being super-soft), but are lovely in the original, marshmallow, flavor… all other Peeps are trash candy.
     
    4. Haribo is the ONLY correct brand of Gummi (although original Sour Patch Kids are also allowed!).
     
    Trolli=trashcandy, because their texture is overly-soft… Brach’s is similar to Trolli in the “too soft category, store-brands *might* be acceptable, and Swedish Fish are not just TRASH CANDY, they are an ABOMINATION!!!
     
    5. Nougat is terrible, and the only way it becomes acceptable, is to cover it in Caramel, Peanuts, and Chocolate–so as to render the Nougat unrecognizable (i.e.  Snickers😉)
     
    6. Diet Mountain Dew is TERRIBLE, and should never have been allowed to call itself “Mountain Dew,” also ALL the flavors & colors of Mountain Dew–aside from the original “visibly unhealthy yellow-green”** are an ABOMINATION!
     
    **”Regular” Dew, “Real Sugar,” Caffeine-Free Mountain Dew, and Black-label/Dew Zero, are the ONLY acceptable versions of Mountain Dew!😈
     
     

    • I was with you on your first three points (though I wouldn’t call chocolate/orange and chocolate/mint better than plain chocolate, but I do enjoy them), but then you lost me completely. I vastly prefer Swedish fish and soft gummies to the crazy chewy types (which are more likely to be vegetarian anyway – pectin doesn’t set up as hard as gelatin), nougat is wonderful, and all mountain dew, including the original, is trash. 

    • Trolli are so. awful. I hadn’t tried them in years and recently got a buy something, get them free deal. I felt they weren’t up to snuff of the value of $0.00

  14. I don’t like dark chocolate. 
     
    I *do* like raisins. Not necessarily in candy (and not in potato salad you fucking weirdos) but definitely in baked goods or cereal, etc.
     
    Non-food unpopular opinion: leggings aren’t pants. 

    • Who puts raisins in potato salad…? I also enjoy raisins in baked goods. Oatmeal raisin cookies, raisin bread, cinnamon rolls with raisins… yum. Also a fan of them in candy – raisinettes are great.
       
      I always think it’s weird raisins get so much hate – they’re dried grapes and everyone loves grapes.
       
      And I’m a recent convert to the leggings are pants group. Leggings have come a long way, and if you have thick ones that aren’t see through and don’t show your underwear lines, they’re pants. I got some nice ones with pockets even, and I think that’s what swung me. 

      • I don’t know if anyone actually does, but it’s kind of a running joke about white people fucking up food (like on The Root). Which, we do. And also a lot of people are vehemently anti raisin! Like oatmeal raisin cookies actually killed their parents or something. But I like them. 
         
        I think they’ll never be pants *for me.* I certainly see people in them that don’t look like they just rolled out of bed, and there are totally cute patterns I’d like to wear. But I’m one of those people who is always cold and I just can’t imagine leggings would be warm. See also: people who try to convince me that dresses and tights are warm. 

        • Oh, now that you say it, I do remember raisin potato salad jokes on The Root. I guess someone probably did it, like that weird peas in guacamole thing that happened.
           
          I was surprised that the recent pockets leggings I bought were as warm as they are, but that’s like… for early fall weather. I don’t expect them to be winter pants. I am also baffled by people who wear dresses in the winter. I do own fleece lined tights (which… I don’t know what makes them tights and not leggings), and they’re nice, especially to layer with. 

        • “Like oatmeal raisin cookies actually killed their parents or something.”
          Not my parents, just my trust of adults, as a child…
          Oatmeal & raisin cookies, made with oatmeal run through a blender, so that they resemble chocolate chip cookies, taste like sadness and betrayal… 
          And *THAT* abomination–of finely-grinding the oatmeal, so that “it’s not so lumpy,” but to the untrained eye, it LOOKS like a chocolate chip cookie(!!!)–is why I (and many others I’ve met!), so vehemently LOATHE oatmeal-raisin cookies😉😂🤣

          • I have never heard of that happening! Oatmeal raisin cookies should just be allowed to BE. Separate and what they are. Un-blended, I don’t understand how one can mistake an oatmeal raisin cookie for a choc-chip cookie, though. Now you’re just not lookin.

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