Hi, friends!
I see a decent number of vanity license plates around town. Often it’s obscure enough or something not in English so I have no clue what it is. One time on the highway a few years ago I was behind a fancy cadillac with “TRSNKO” so pretty sure that was Vladimir Tarasenko (or a member of his immediate family) who played for the St Louis Blues hockey team for like 12 years.
Are you a vanity plate person? I’m not, for the same reason that I don’t have any bumper stickers or window stickers – I don’t want my car to stand out because there’s fucking crazy people out there.
Regardless of whether you currently have a vanity plate for your car, bike, etc, what would you put on one if you did? I saw a white car with the vanity plate “SURLY” yesterday and yeah, I’d be happy with that plate myself!
This one was great until Virginia got complaints and killed it.
haha clever.
I always wanted one that said “ESTA BN” like esta bien in Spanish.
Also, since my car (a Mini Cooper) is named Anderson III, I always kinda wanted “ANDRSN”
Maybe you folks remember this. During the Golden Age of Blogging, like 2002–2010, there was an entire site devoted to funny vanity license plates that got through the dimwits at various state DMVs, and sometimes they would get their hands on and publish plate applications that were refused. I’m almost sure that’s where I first saw blue dogcollar’s “Eat The” plate. That was amusing, and it was also the Golden Age of Gawker, and Wonkette, and all kinds of other stuff that could distract you from the dreary middle-management grind.
I don’t have a vanity plate, I have no idea what I’d even put on one. I do have one of the specialty plates though, it supports the agency my daughter works for.
I was behind a car last night that had one that said “COW6RL.” I might’ve given her the benefit of the doubt that other people had already snagged versions with the G and 9 (and there’s no way to spell it correctly in Missouri anyway, since we still only get the six digits here). Except that it was on a special Tea Party license plate (which, when you get right down to things, may even be one of the reasons that we still only get the six digits here).
In any case, just as I could’ve suspected, she got on I-44 heading westbound — and probably not for a short trip, either. . . .
Duh, she was heading out to Fenton to Chuck’s Boots for some new cow6irl boots.
See, I would love to go to Missouri, if only to get on I-44 and head to Chuck’s Boots. I would chat with everyone. I’m so sick and tired of the groupthink I’m exposed to. I would love to get out in the wild and have a little chat about the merits of Donald Trump vs. Ron DeSantis vs. Nikki Haley, and whoever else throws their hat in the ring. Among my “friend group” they all turn into Regan MacNeil from The Exorcist when these names are brought up. Their heads spin around, they levitate, they vomit pea soup. But, you know, there is value in debating and debunking what these people are saying, rather than just canceling their Twitter accounts.
Maybe it’s just me. I love being offended. I love homophobic jokes (granted, often told to me by gay friends.) I read a comment recently about a certain sub-group, I won’t tell you which, that simply went, “If there’s two or more, head for the door.” I think of that every day. Incredibly offensive, in context, but extremely concise and witty, I thought. I bet I could repeat that in a roadhouse bar on I-44 on my way back from Chuck’s Boots and get a few laughs.
Oh friend, them’s fightin words.
There is no other republican for Missourians than our lord and savior, Donald J Trump. Praise Jesus and the Donald!
Anyways, once you finish up at https://chucksboots.com/ (fyi, they have American flag boots for you to show your patriotism!), then go down yonder to Norm’s Bargain Barn https://www.normsbargainbarn.com/products/fenton-mo-closeouts/ for some materials to fix up your house. Don’t worry, you are in Jefferson county which has none of the safety permit rules of St Louis county.
Signed,
there’s a reason @perdido and I joke about never leaving St Louis City or County by choice
Norm’s Bargain Barn! I would have to buy a house within walking distance. I thought Crazy Eddie’s and the old weird “department stores” on West 14th Street were alluring enough. I bet Norm’s Bargain Barn doesn’t have scented candles endowed with mystical properties, like people from the Caribbean believe. Like you can’t buy a big one in a frosted glass for $3 that will stink up your entire apartment but will bring good fortune. I used to buy those.
No you gotta go to the flea market for your fancy candles.
Have fun crossing a highway with no crosswalks or pedestrian bridges if you want to walk around there.
Also, watch out fer deer.
As irony would have it, you’d actually have two options for “Roadhouses” along the suburbanized stretch of I-44 that you’d take on your way back to the City — and, yeah, I do mean that one.
Of course, one is Texas Roadhouse, which is a chain barbecue restaurant inside a stand-alone building at the outer edge of an enormous strip mall anchored by a Target and a Wal-Mart (the former of which I believe brightersider worked at or knew someone who did). I haven’t been there since about 2005 or so — and it was still a Pizzeria Uno back then anyway.
The other one’s Hwy. 61 Roadhouse, which I believe is more of a cultural reference rather than a toponymic one because it’s not along there — or along I-44, either, although at least you can see it from there. It’s near the campus of Webster University and housed in another stand-alone building that long ago, I believe, used to be a branch of Streetside Records. I went there around the same general time frame as the other place, back when I was young and naive to be a part of a Meetup group dedicated to “Going Out,” and there was a firebrand of a local Blues singer named Kim Massie performing there that night. Sadly, though, she passed away a couple of years ago, and last I checked the place was only serving a rather anemic offering of apps only in the wake of COVID-19.
Naturally, you should go to Texas Roadhouse for the ambiance.
Also known as staff having to line dance like every half hour and bowls of peanuts for table snacks where customers toss the peanut shells all over the ground because that’s how the cowboys do it!!!
Line-dancing restaurant staff? I’m checking airfares right now!
At 10:00 at night, though. . . ?
Oh nope, nevermind.
That was to buy meth out by Creepyworld.
That’s another thing. I would like to do meth. Under controlled circumstances, like in my apartment, and only once. I actually know what crack smells like (don’t ask, and that friend group was discarded after it stopped being funny, for me anyway) and I know people around here smoke it and do meth, and I know we have a huge meth problem, which we’re exacerbating by opening, I forget what these are called, safe injection sites for junkies and meth users. I’ve also never taken LSD, which since the 1920s or something has been under trials to improve mental health.
Sigh. I’ll just continue to expand my waistline with my consumption of third-tier white wine and meals that a nutritionist would run away from.
I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or serious about the safe injection sites, but they’re a massively helpful harm reduction strategy to get people access to social workers as well as reduce transmission of HIV and hepatitis since they get clean needles.
Anyways, if you get high on meth you’ll get an initial high rush, and then be obsessed with scratching yourself, paranoid about people who aren’t out to get you, and potentially hallucinate that your body is covered with bugs. Then you’ll want more meth.
Also a lot of it is laced with fentanyl, so please don’t recreationally try since you could die and I’ve lost more than one family member to fentanyl overdoses already.
God, I’m sorry, that sounds horrible and I’m sorry about your family members.
I just know (and we’ve interacted about this before, I know we have) that when I’ve had a couple of exploratory procedures and they want to keep me alert and kind of lucid, not under general anesthesia, they will pump a cocktail that includes fentanyl in it and I’ll be floating on clouds. I also, when I was in the physical rehab, was given regular doses of oxycodone, to the point where I started refusing them. I have a fairly high tolerance for pain, and the last thing I needed was to get home and be addicted to oxycodone, which no reputable doctor would proscribe for me, so I’d have to turn to someone like Joe Biden’s mythical Black nemesis Corn Pop to get it for me.
Interesting! I enjoyed that propofol nap immensely, so I can see how correctly administered fentanyl would also be good.
Wow they are surprisingly willing to prescribe you opioids!
I guess maybe the illicit drug scene is/was different enough in NYC compared to the Midwest that it wasn’t seen as much of an abuse risk?
A lot of the meth addiction starts with people abusing opioids, and meth has been bad here for like 20 years so maybe they’re tighter with it? Like I’ve had friends here with chronic pain conditions who are only prescribed 10 ozys a month and if they need more they have to go back in for additional doctor office visits.
When I got out of the physical rehab (which, really, was the entry stage to the attached nursing home, but for me I wasn’t there yet and had my own home to go back to) I had all these follow-up appointments and the doctors would look at my online records and say, “You had how many milligrams of oxycodone a day?” And I’d say, “I told them to knock it off. I was trying to relearn how to walk and I didn’t need to be zonked out.”
“That’s usually end-of-life palliative care. It’s almost never prescribed anymore.”
“Well, it should be, because it’s amazing.”
Call me Dr. Feelgood.
Edit: They dosed me up with oxy because it was painful for me to recover but I needed to exercise, so the the physical and occupational therapists would come in and my lower back wouldn’t be screaming in pain while we did things like…I can’t even remember. I had to sit up in bed, which wasn’t easy, and the PT had this set, like something for children, and he would put the wooden cup on my left side, on the rehab bed nightstand, and a cup of chips on my right, on the bed, and with my right hand I was to reach over and deposit them in the cup to my left. Turning, that was the point, but not falling over. This was to develop my core strength.
That whole experience was incredible. I remember the day I was given a walker and trained how to use it (I wasn’t nearly as old or dementia-addled as most of the clientele, so my “training” didn’t take long) and went to my little bathroom by myself. I was 57.
SUCKIT
YEARS AGO, I knew a woman whose ex-husband was intent upon having an extra large mid-life crisis. He bought a corvette and a custom license plate. She had to drive the car for some reason, and overheard an elderly man tell his wife, “look, it says “head on straight”. It actually said hedonist (mid-crisis, yes), spelled HED0NST. She was much chagrined.
I used to know a drug dealer who had a plate that says “DO N OK”. He died.
🙁
We need more drug dealers (peaceful, now that everything’s been decriminalized) but also more DMV workers, because I think in New York they’re still somehow working from home. I mean, not working, it takes months just to renew an existing license, never mind getting one of those idiotic “smart licenses” that the DHS is going to start demanding. I wonder how much ID the hundreds of thousands who crossed the southern border had on them since the beginning of the year. Not much, I bet.
PERKELE is already taken, so I’m trying to decide if it’s worth the money to put SAATANA on my Z28.
80___OS. F_45
If I lived in Texas, I would love to have plates that read TED CRZ and then wait five seconds at every intersection after the light turned green, drive five miles per hour under the speed limit in the passing lane, take minutes to carefully pull out of parking spaces in crowded lots….
Make sure to go to short term parking at the airport when you flee the state during a natural disaster!
I once rented a car here in The Greatest City in the World™ that had Georgia plates. I needed it for a weekend to move stuff around. I was treated like I was the reverse version of Sherman’s burning of Atlanta. This was a long time ago. The squeegee men were still out in force, so I would put the windshield wiper fluid on and start the wipers. Good times. This was under Dinkins and around the time of the Crown Heights riots. That all disappeared with Giuliani and Bratton. I don’t know what their secret was, but the city turned around on a dime. Now the dime has spun again.
I’m fairly disappointed none of you have said
BOOBS
or BUTTS
or some variation yet.
Or even the PEN15 club!
I don’t have a *personalized* plate, but when I drove my cars for the last few years, they always had the MN Critical Habit license plate with the Ladyslipper on it.
I just really like the look of that one (especially on a black car!), annnnnd the Critical Habitat plates help fund the MN Department of Natural Resources, so the hundred bucks it costs a year to get tabs goes to a great cause!😉😁💖
The plate i saw driving home tonight was pretty cute, it said UGOGIRL
There *used* to be one, back the first time I went to college, which was on a station wagon that parked by The Memorial Union building on campus…
One of our friends–who was an RA back then would mention this car she’d see fairly regularly, whose plates said “Greasy Guitar” and she wondered why someone would put *that* on a car…
A couple weeks later, *I* saw a station wagon with customized plates on campus, and *that* car’s plates said “Grocery Getter”
We both thought it was interesting that there were *two* station wagons on campus who had *such* similar plates–Buuuuut, in North Dakota back then, it was only about $25.00 to *get* custom plates–so loooots of people had them.
It wasn’t until a big group of our friends walked over to the dining hall in the basement of The Union one day, that we realized–THEY WERE THE *SAME* CAR…
The plate *read* “GRCYGTR”…
Greasy Guitar, if you’re *very* into music!😉
Buuuut when your family had a station wagon for many years during your childhood, you always refer to them as a “Grocery Getter”!😉😆🤣💖
FAHQUE
Très Québécois.
dont really see custom license plates here as the plates tend to stay with the car forever and its only the owners name that changes when re sold
any plate starting with AA means royals tho
so you know…..if you see one…aim for it
Not big into vanity plates, but a car in sawyers bay, at an old folks cottage, had a bumper sticker that read, “live fast eat ass,” and that was hilarious to me.