Ways America is just like baseball, ranked

Apple pie, hot dogs, fireworks, violence against minorities, labor unrest ... America!

1. Power is supposed to be broadly shared by fans/voters but in reality, is held by a handful of old and mostly white rich people.

2. The people with power are more concerned about quarterly profits and short-term gains than anything else.

3. Many people trained to always take the side of ownership over workers, even though they themselves are workers.

4. Those in power are far more interested in settling scores than planning for the future.

5. “See, they can succeed!” is blanket statement made about about minorities after seeing some who have a level of skill found in about .000000000001% of the population.

6. In addition to huge amounts of written rules, there are also many unwritten rules that cannot be crossed or discussed.

7. We root for our team only.

8. Would like to cut jobs and replace humans with robots or statistical models whenever possible.

9. Claimed to have desegregated in the past; still not entirely true.

10. Supposed to be a meritocracy but isn’t.

11. Too many hot dogs and beers consumed.

12. Proclaims itself to be a force for good; actually more interested in making money.

13. Has a status quo that’s unpalatable to anyone under the age of 35.

14. Believes umpires are only correct when they rule in their team’s favor.

15. Doesn’t appreciate Mike Trout enough.

16. The subject of many very lyrical but often wildly incorrect works of fiction.

17. Occasionally devolves into brawls when words could have sufficed.

18. Likes to wear red, white and blue on July 4th.

19. Getting hit by a bus

20. Not as popular as it used to be.

About Clever Name Here dba "Black Rod" 100 Articles
Vell, Clever Name Here just zis guy, you know? Sometimes funny. Often annoyed. Once I saw a blimp.


  1. 21 The powers that be and new owners will happily kill Canada City jobs by moving the franchise south.

    22 Everyone ignores the Canada City folks who try to talk reason.

    The owners can go fuck themselves. I’d rather have no MLB if they are going to fuck the players up the ass and renege on an agreed deal.

    • It isn’t even that hard, it’s just the owners have such a lack of imagination when it comes to growing the game vs. wringing every last penny out of the current week. Here’s what you do:
      – actually try to work with the players union to come up with a solution on pay if you’re really losing money (doubtful for some owners!)
      – work with states to pick 4-8 venues for games; guarantee a bunch of places would have jumped at the chance
      – buy/rent places for players, staff and umps to stay for a while
      – put those people in quarantine, and I do mean serious quarantine, for 2-3 weeks
      – clean the shit out of where players would be in the stadium
      – start the season in April when people had literally nothing else to do and TV networks were *DYING* for things to put on the air

      They could have owned the sports calendar for half of April, May and now June. It would have been the escape from coronavirus and then the protests. But those owners are so colossally stupid they’d rather fight about Curt Flood all over again than take a golden opportunity to make baseball the No. 1 sport in the country for a few months. Now they’ve killed the season, and hopefully their investment too.

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