Weaponized Wednesday [NOT 10/01/24]

10/1/24 ManchuCandidate 15

A soy boy’s guide to the top fivish movies from mostly action movie series that I have seen:

James Bond

  1. Goldfinger
  2. From Russia With Love
  3. Casino Royale
  4. Skyfall
  5. For Your Eyes Only

Lethal Weapon

  1. One
  2. Two
  3. Three
  4. Four

Predator

  1. Predator
  2. The rest suck

Alien

  1. Aliens
  2. Alien
  3. Oh god, why did I waste my time and money on Alien 3?

Star Trek

  1. Wrath
  2. Whales
  3. Spock!
  4. End of the Cold War
  5. The Boring Picture
  6. Borg!
  7. The rest are too terrible to number

Rambo

  1. Rambo
  2. Rambo (with more CGI blood)
  3. Do we get to win this time?
  4. Rambo world tour Afghanistan

The Expendables

  1. Expendables
  2. My patience with the series was expended

Hallmark Xmas Movies (thanks sis)

  1. The one with the blond guy dating the brunette lady
  2. The one with the white guy dating the black lady (progress!)
  3. The one with the blond guy dating the blond lady

Feel free to add to the list, fight my lists or open thread it!

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15 Comments

  1. John Wick (haven’t seen 3 yet)

    Bourne movies were pretty good

    Die Hard 1 & 2

    I actually loved Live & Let Die for Bond even though Roger Moore ones were a little less serious.

    Fuck Fast & Furious & what it has done to all the asshole teens in fucking loud cars!

    • Die Hard 2 was so dumb it made my brain bleed.

      The idea that planes circling DC would run out of fuel and crash was the dumbest thing ever. There are multiple commercial airports and more military ones within minutes of Dulles. They even had those skyphones on every seat in that movie.

      After 15 minutes of circling every pilot and passenger would have been calling out to National Airport, Baltimore, Richmond, Philly, or  Andrews AFB to get rerouted. This isn’t Easter Island!

      • To be honest, I don’t even remember much about that movie other than they used our Hawaiian Air L1011 for the plane.  I don’t think I saw the ones after 3.

        • Fair, it was a long time ago.

          The terrorist plot was to shut down the radios at Dulles Airport during a snowstorm. The pilots were then supposed to circle the airport until they ran out of fuel and everyone crashed. Because pilots are stupid?

          It’s as dumb an idea as shutting down the mens room at a rest stop on the Ohio Turnpike and assuming every man will wait there until their bladder burst.

          We all know they’d wait about five minutes before figuring out plan B.

      • True… I thought the whole subversion of an elite unit was too much even though I did enjoy the movie.

        Also, usually when something gets sucked into a jet engine… It’s game over for the flight.

    • I never got into the F& Fatuous series. Just too stupid even for someone like me.

      Bourne was okay.

      Totally forgot about Wick!

      • I watched John Wick 4, then decided to rewatch the series. JW1 is totally eclipsed by JW4’s settings, fight choreography, the plot and even the car chase. It might be the only movie series where the newer films are better than the one(s) that precede it.

  2. Die Hard:

    1. One
    2. One
    3. One
    4. Watching One for the fourth time
    5. Three
    6. Getting run over by one of those dumptrucks from Three
    7. Four
    8. There was a Five? OK, sure, whatever
    9. Getting run over by another one of those dumptrucks from Three, running barefoot through the broken glass in One, getting dropped from a window of the Nakatomi Tower, having something happen to you from Four and Five, whatever those were about
    10. Two

     

    • I liked the premise of normal dude who stops terrorists as opposed to someone with a spec ops background.

      On YT someone posted a video that counted the number of times John McClane should have died in real life… It is about 4 in Die Hard.

  3. In terms of action serials, by the way, the latest season of Fargo on Hulu is off the charts.

    Juno Temple of all people is one of the main action heroes and she is astounding.

  4. I like John Wick, but the dog dies. However Keanu almost balances that out. (I’m on the sofa covered in four small dogs as I type this.)

    • I’ve got two dogs sleeping at my feet right now. I’m not sure about the math – is that half as good, twice as good, or somehow equal?

      • All dogs are perfect dogs; your two are just right.

    • I hated that, but it goes into the emotional justification as to why Wick goes batshit. I feel/wish I would too if someone killed my dog.

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