1. Farscy says Eurovision is starting up again. Maybe this is the year I should follow it?

    Does anyone have a few words of wisdom for a dumb American how to get his feet wet?

    • You just watch it for the camp experience, like whenever Congress holds a show trial, or Broadway revives a Rodgers & Hammerstein musical. It’s a poisoned chalice, though: the “winner” country has to host the next one, and that can costs tens of millions, which is why some countries send acts that would get booed off the stage at a rural failing amusement park. It’s also amusing to note that the “Eurovision” extends to places like Israel and Australia.

      • I feel lost as far as which country out of all 600+ European countries and dukedoms to choose.

        Should I focus on costumes, hair, or dance moves?

        And if I choose, say, Estonia, this time, am I forever locked into supporting them forever and shut out from choosing Finland next time?

        • I usually root for the hottest male singer who wears the least amount of clothing (publicly I say I wanted whichever underdog to win; last year it was Ukraine and probably will be again this year.)

        • I believe I can help you out here.  The best way to introduce yourself to the wonders of Eurovision is to head over to YouTube and sample some of the great moments in Eurovision history.  There are many.  But be prepared to have your life change forever.  Every year for Eurovision finals my wife goes to stay with a friend of hers in town because she says it just gets too weird around the house for her.  And she comes from a country that actually has a Eurovision entry and I don’t.  But  I make up for it by getting extra crazy.  I have to say though, that the past few years have been pretty boring by Eurovision standards.  Everything is like Dua Lipa.  The fun seems to have been a bit lost.

          • Word of warning though:  Eurovision is actually a United Nations/WHO/World Economic Forum conspiracy to make everyone gay, so if you are not gay, watching Eurovision finals will make you a little gay, and if you are already gay, watching Eurovision finals will make you a lot more gay.

            I’ve done my own research and this is true.  It’s like they distilled all six seasons of Glee into a pill and mixed it with MDMA and put it up your bum.

    • i mean….i mostly consider it a valid excuse to serve fancy snackages and alcohol…

      sooo…basically…its like the superbowl…but with graham norton…and fewer commercials

    • Ah, the memories. I read Green Eggs a million times to my kids, and every time when I got to the part where Sam I Am and the grumpy guy fell in the water, I’d read that part like they were speaking underwater.

      They hated it! And I never stopped!

      • To be honest, some of his books are just a pain in the neck.

        We had one called “Happy Birthday to You” which I flat out refused to read. It was just so damn boring and it went on and on in that singsong rhyme scheme. The Cat in the Hat is great, but If I Ran The Zoo is an endless slog.

  2. Today’s been a DAY!😖🤪🥴

    I started off waking up from our building’s fire alarms 5-10 minutes before *my* alarm clock was set to ring…

    Moved the things that needed to be moved (the tray of my shoes in the front hallway, and the rolling shelf of laundry products that lives by the washer/dryer), then went outside to do my regular walk around the building, to see if there was *visible* fire, and if we actually needed to evacuate our roommate who has mobility issues (her new wheelchair is *here* but the controls aren’t in the right spot, soooo she’s not really able to use it yet…) There was no fire-fire, so I came back upstairs to let her know, and then went back down to watch for the firetrucks…

    Multiple rigs showed up (urban + apartments), but the first couple left pretty quickly, so it was obviously not a fire, so I went down to the parking garage to get my coat (it was in the van), to wear while I waited for the dumb alarms to get shut off…

    It took longer than usual, and I realized *why* when I got down there.

    Apparently the MFD doesn’t HAVE maps/building specs/layouts for apartments? Annnnd the guys were STILL tryto find the fire panel… soooo I called them over, and they tried *all* the keys on the keyring.

    None opened the door, but luckily, the other door to the panel room *wasn’t* locked (GOOD, but also BAD!🙃), And they were able to get in & shut the alarms off…

    But Y’ALL, the adrenaline dump after had me DRAGGING allll day.

    I called the office & spoke to our assistant manager, and suggested both a note/blueprint gets placed with the keys in the fire lockbox, annnnd that they GET the right key *AND* mark it clearly, so the FD folks can get things done faster next time (if it was a REAL emergency, that time MATTERS, and it was so SLOW, because of them not knowing where *exactly* to go!

    Then, on the way to work, I saw a trucker hauling hazardous do a DUMB, cutting across two lanes of icy/snowy/slushy road, and I’m pretty sure making a right-hand turn ON RED (the Google machine said it was Flammable Paint Products/UN 1263)…

    Soooo since the guy’s rig had a giant ad looking for more drivers, i wrote down the phone # annnd the hazardous code (1263), the time, location, his license plate & AND the trailer #, and called it in, once I got to work & was parked… his dispatcher/the lady who answered the phone said “I only have one truck in the area, and he’s not even *to* Minneapolis yet!” I told her exactly what I’d seen, where I was, and what time (Minneapolis time), it was… then she said she’d check his tapes to determine if he’d run the red or not, and go from there…

    And tonight, because of that morning, and the resulting *twitches* stilllll pinging around inside my skull, the Penske truck that’s parked in the *odd* spot, juuuust north of/next to the Planned Parenthood parking lot (close to our building), sent up ALL the “paranoid-brain alarm bells!!!!” 😜🤪🥴

    Luckily, I know someone over there i can reach out to, soooooo my dumb, paranoid a.f. ass drove around the block, took pics of the license plate (Indiana), and Drivers’ side DOT #’s, and sent ’em off to them…

    Because YES, it’s the first of the month, so it’s probably NOTHING!!!😉

    Buuuuuuut there’s that damn case in front of the USSC, about the FDA approval of the medication-abortion drug…

    And yesterday was the *start* of the 30th anniversary of the seige on the Branch Davidians in Waco, annnnnd I grew up in the 80’s & 90’s, when clinic bombings & shootings were *a thing,* annnd Neonazis & white supremacists & anti-government sorts are *all* pretty “against” Planned Parenthood, plus–a few of the main reasons McVeigh & the other asshats blew up the Murrah Building were white-supremacist bullshit *AND* Waco+Ruby Ridge🙃

    So YEP!!! My brain instantly pinged, on what’s *probably & hopefully* just someone’s rental/moving truck….

    But FUCK IT, today, i’m calling that shit IN/sending it over, because if it *wasn’t* juuuust a moving truck, and shit *were* to happen?

    I don’t know if I’d EVER be able to get my damnably overactive & hyperaware brain *out* of the rafters & back on the ground, ever again.😖🙃🥴

    • I guess the tolerable thing is 5-10 minutes of lost sleep is about the best you can hope for. My brain is usually anticipating the alarm by that point so it’s not too shocked by the buzz.

    • So we all have to bake Bundt cakes to celebrate, if we can’t cheer you on in person, correct?



      Ngl, I adore the way Bundt cakes & Avocados have become *our* version of Lentils & the great Cake/Pie debates

      (And that, as always, Cheese is pretty much universal😁💖)


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