Hi, friends!
How did your weekend go? Get a lot done? Anything really exciting happen?
I got my little rain garden planted where the swampy area from the sump pump discharges. I’m reasonably certain I will need to expand it, but at least I started. Also I needed to get the plants I’d already bought in the ground so hey that’s done.
In other exciting news, it took less than 24 hours for a hummingbird to find the feeder I put out yesterday. Cute lil female birb! Last year I had multiples hitting up that feeder so hopefully more lil hummers show up soon.
I’ve been dogsitting for my parents and ohhhh nooo the dog puked all over his dogbed last night. The dogbed from the mypillow douchecanoe. Anyways, I hosed it off and it’s setting on the back porch. Hopefully it’s ruined.
I can’t imagine choosing to spend time out in the heat. We set up the AC. Mid May might be a record for us, usually I drag my feet as long as possible. Tried to take Lil to an owl exhibit at a local farm on Saturday. We were there a grand total of 5 minutes before he declared there were too many people and he was done. He gets as grumpy in the heat as I do.
I’ll try to sum up some of crazy shit we have going on. My 15y old one-eyed kitty baby has been sick and is currently a little over a week into her two weeks of twice daily antibiotics, which must taste awful because she foams at the mouth and drools and spits. I’ve come to despise the vet for prescribing this. The uti may have been preferable. She’s also maybe now permanently on daily blood pressure meds.
We’re in the process of getting Lil evaluated for special ed and probably need to look into a developmental pediatrician to see about an autism diagnosis. And I had to pull an embedded deer tick off him last night and am feeling horribly anxious and guilty about it.
I think those are the highlights. Oh, and I got takeout tonight that I couldn’t eat because there was a chunk of beef in my veggie fajitas. At least I got a refund.
BDH, are y’all still here in the MSP-metro region?
If you are, you should be able to just reach out to your regular pediatrician, and ask for a referral for an ASD diagnosis.
Then you can ask them to call Fraser, St. David’s, or any of the places on this list, in addition to a Developmental Peds MD;
https://addm.umn.edu/resources/diagnosis
Having been in the field, in my previous job, I would HIGHLY recommend either of Fraser or St. David’s programs–imo, both of them are the best in the state at working with kids & families with Autism, and BOTH have excellent staff and don’t use *just* ABA, like many of the other practices in the area do… imo, most kids with ASD *don’t* need therapy as intensive as ABA–in my 2.5 years at the mental health center i worked at, we only ever had *two* of the kids (out of 35-or-so, who cycled through the rooms i was in!), who needed that level of support to learn to communicate successfully.
MN will pay for EIDBI that *isn’t* just ABA, so you don’t need to just go with an ABA-based program, if you don’t want to.
St David’s has a couple sites now, both are great! Fraser’s best site, imo, is 3333 University, because they get lots of staff from the psychology, therapy, and social work programs at St. Thomas, the U of M, Hamlin, Augsburg, etc. (As does St. David’s), and those are honestly the sites I recommend our teachers talk to families about, when they’re looking at therapy & day treatment programs.😉💖
(Seriously, they are THE BEST at what they do!!!–i’ve known folks at BOTH, and when I went to interview the head of Child Life at Mayo’s Children’s hospital for my Child Life degree, SHE said they refer their kids to Fraser & St. David’s for evals & treatment!💝❤💞)
Here’s another great link, if you don’t already have it, too;
https://helpmeconnect.web.health.state.mn.us/HelpMeConnect/Topics/DevelopmentalandBehaviorConcerns?loc=13735%2010th%20Ave%20S%2C%20Zimmerman%2C%20MN%2055398&geo=45.433895%2C-93.617457
And a couple more GREAT resources, if you don’talready have them bookmarked!;
https://mn.gov/autism/
And reach out to Pacer!!! They’re AWESOME, and they offer classes, supports, and they have parents who’ve been through the whole process, who are willing to reach back & help guide younger parents through the whole process, if need be! They’re an AWESOME resource, and free!;
https://www.pacer.org/
Eta, Lastly, you’re doing ALL the right things!!!💖💞💗, and definitely go for the medical diagnosis(or diagnoses!)!!
With a medical Dx, if Little ever shows enough skill development and/or decrease in ASD symptoms, his schools can’t drop him from SPED programming & support like they could, if he shows “sufficient growth” on his IEPs and he just had a school-based (non-medical) diagnosis.
Too many teachers (and other staff, too, tbh!) don’t really understand that even if someone has “high functioning” ASD, *they still have needs,* and sometimes kids without medical Dx’s will be dropped from SPED support, because “they seem ok,” and then either struggle, or end up boomerang-ing back into SPED.
So YES, go seek that Dx, and get him ALL the support he (and you as his parents!) is eligible for!😉😁🤗💖
Thank you! I’m in Massachusetts so the programs might be a bit different here, but I have heard from another mom in the area that I should start by just talking to our primary care pediatrician.
A friend of a friend with an autistic daughter referred me to AANE, which has been helpful so far, and I’ve connected with a group of parents of special ed students in my district, who are also giving me some good info.
ABA scares me from what I’ve heard from autistic people who went through it and describe it as abusive. In any case, I don’t think Lil’s problems are severe enough to need it anyway. I just hope we can get him started in kindergarten in the fall with some extra support in place so he can have a good school experience. So far I’ve gotten a good impression from the public school system and their understanding and desire to help, but the evaluations haven’t taken place yet so we’ll see.
I’ve probably asked you this before, but how old is Lil? I want to say 5 or so? Early diagnosis is good because there are lots of things to help kids on the spectrum, now. When my kids were diagnosed, 18 years ago, there was some support, but a lot of it was the crazy, Jenny McCarthy bullshit. If you weren’t taking your kid for weekly vitamin B12 infusions and chelation and scheduling them time in the sensory deprivation tank (all of which were $$$ and out-of-pocket) the autism parents weren’t interested because, clearly, you just weren’t doing the best you could for them!
My boys, now 19 and 21, both did in school and private speech and sensory therapy. My younger one also had physical therapy. It did seem to help a lot with the issues they were having, and I give a lot of credit to the teachers and therapists that worked with them.
He is 4, will be 5 this summer. So of course his preschool teacher (who I don’t particularly like or respect her opinion) has suggested we keep him in preschool an additional year because he’ll be too young for kindergarten anyway in her opinion. She said it to me so many times, including saying multiple times in front of him that she didn’t think he’d do well in public school next year that I finally totally lost it on her.
I’m happy to hear you describe diagnosis at 5 as early. All the parents I’ve spoken to so far seem to have gotten their diagnoses at 2 or even earlier. I guess the judgmental parents are always going to be a given, it’s just what they think you’ve failed at that changes over the years.
I have no kids nor any background in autism info, but anecdotally, the only people I’ve known who get diagnoses for kids around age 2 or younger are cases where there are noticeable milestones being missed and significant therapy is needed even to get a child to start talking, etc. And in 2 cases, the mothers actually had a degree in early childhood education and still had to push and push with the pediatrician to start the process.
People I’ve known with higher function ASD kiddos? Often they’re fighting to get diagnoses between ages of like 5-9 because the kids are more likely to get in trouble at school for what is perceived as them misbehaving, that sort of thing.
Yeah that all makes sense. I will say I am grateful to his preschool teacher at least for noticing and saying to us that he’s “very sensory”. She didn’t tell us anything we didn’t already know really, but calling it out as “sensory” issues was like ohhh. Yeah. She does complain about him not paying attention or refusing to do certain things, so it’s not at all hard to imagine that he’d just get labeled trouble or behavioral problems if we weren’t seeking school services.
I think that the only reason my kids were diagnosed as early as they were was because the older one had hearing problems and the county home visitor who came to help me with him recognized the signs of autism in my younger one, as well.
5 is pretty early, in the grand scheme of things, and really, if he’s walking and talking and all that good stuff, it would be harder to recognize, so you’re doing great!
@bigdamnheros Ah, man, all the high stress loved one issues. Again, hugs.
Our grand dame doggo Ms. Emma is 15 years old as well – she takes many, many meds and we are at the point of evaluating quality of life on a daily basis. She is a curmudgeon, but she has always been my girl, her health is a constant underlying worry (as I am sure is the health of your kitty baby).
My son has an autistic stepson. Our dear little boy has had good results with speech therapy, an Individualized Education Program, and simply aging from 5 to 9 years. But – his adults have all had to be very aggressive to ensure that he received/receives the support he needed/needs. Even if you are not a joiner, getting on local autism support mailing lists can help. The latest issue for them involved two school districts and state law, because of course it did. TL;DR: they moved, new district had insufficient education for kiddo’s needs, old school district is required by law to continue to offer him cyber school, new district wanted the state money…resolved to perfection but so many hoops.
Hang in there!
Yeah I think we’re not quite at the point of worrying about my old lady’s quality of life yet luckily, but I’m just hoping we’re not on the precipice of a sudden decline. It’s a constant low grade worry at the back of my head. Of course I love her dearly, but beyond that, Lil is going to be totally devastated when we eventually lose her. The vet has been fairly reassuring and confident, so hopefully we get through the awful liquid antibiotics and settle into daily pills without too much trouble. I just wish I could spare her all the vet visits because she hates them so much.
We moved towns a little over a year ago specifically for the upgrade in school systems, so I am hopeful about the new district doing a good job. But I’ve heard so many horror stories, so I’m readying myself in case I have to fight them to get support. It’d be nice if this could be one time that things just worked out without needing constant vigilance and effort from us.
Jose Andres turned the Jaleo into a new restaurant by me and we went to check it out today. Unfortunately they did not have any AC so we had brunch at a French place near by. Other than that, just a super productive weekend of laundry, cleaning, and errands!
Oh fuck the poor workers. Especially with all the heat coming from the kitchen.
We walked in and it was as hot as it was outside.
The ladies at the front desk seemed really confused. I think they had just gotten used to it? Ya I don’t even want to think what the kitchen was like. The place was half empty and it’s usually packed for brunch!
I’m in Spain right now (I’ll try to give a roundup later on because . . . you know, I made it!) and can only laugh ruefully and knowingly at the lack of AC. I’m just glad things should be relatively cool up here in the mountains right now, although I did break into a sweat more than once yesterday from the strain of carrying my luggage on way here, and the stress of finding a fucking drop box at anywhere at Philadelphia International Airport. (Two information employees told me there were no longer any mailing facilities to speak of, and I was nearly desperate enough to walk out of the facilities in the drizzling rain. But finally it dawned on me to try the Airport Marriott, which had one that I spied from the line at the registration desk while I prepared to beg.)
Jealous! I studied in Sevilla my junior year. My host family didn’t have central heat or air. When it got cold in the winter we’d all sit around a round table with a big table cloth over our laps and there was a space heater under the table. #supersafe
And re: the summer, I get why they take siestas!
Safe travels!
My wife is overseas, I’m watching trash movies and NBA playoffs. I’m too far from any restaurant to get delivery, but a new soul food restaurant opened up in the closest town recently and it looks really promising. They’ve got the blackboard out front that shows the one entree they have on the menu that day (they always have your basic greens, mac & cheese, sometimes okra, and other delicious sides), and ten (!) kinds of pies. I have a feeling I’ll get to know them well while my SO is out of town.
i just got a weather alert for heavy thunderstorms on my phone…
*checks weather radar*
huh….well…one of these things is lying…far as i can tell its blue skies and warm today….blue skies and hot by wednesday…well…mid 80s…gonna be unfun at the shop