Welp I’m Old [NOT 11/8/21]

sarcastic mom from That Seventies Show pouring alcohol into a blender with text "it's only Wednesday"
feeling this today

Hi, friends!

I hate getting older. My lower back is really fucking unhappy with me from the car rides Saturday and Sunday. Which I don’t understand because I had no problems on the way down. I guess maybe it’s because both days down I was really active after the drives so muscles had to keep moving and couldn’t stiffen up?

Totally not exacerbated by my choice to wear low-heeled sandals today at the office, either.

Anyways, if you need me, I’ll be lying on the floor cursing my life choices and trying to stretch,



  1. A few years ago I developed Old Man Throat. You ever notice how old men are constantly clearing their throats, only it sounds like they’re trying to bring their lungs up? That’s what I started doing a few years ago. All fucking day long. 

  2. I’ve learned that most of my back problems always related to stiffness in the other extremities.
    Tight calves (worst offender)
    Tight hamstrings
    Stiff Shoulder
    (Post surgery) weak abs.

    • Yeah I stretched the fuck out of my back and legs and the pain level didn’t change (although the rest of my body appreciated loosening up!). I made an appointment on Friday to see a chiropractor. It’s like sacral/super low lumbar pain and I can’t alleviate it with stuff I’ve done so far. I kept thinking all day “oh it’s muscular and will loosen up when I get home and stretch the hell out of it” and hahahaha NOPE. 

      • Ugh that’s the worst. 
        I pulled a back muscle (one of the support muscles at the base of the spine) that you aren’t supposed to pull and I was crippled for six miserable months till a chiropractor/massage therapist friend helped me out and saved me.

  3. oof owie wtf?
    yeah….welcome to my life
    i am an innovator…..of new and inventive ways to fuck myself up
    hope your backs better soon 🙂
    ill be stuck at home tomorow egging you on coz im not allowed to wear shoes and as such cant work
    im already bored

    • @farscythe what the fuck does she use as a razor? A straight blade? 

      All my razors have the safety guards and shit so even though I’ve stepped on blades, it’s like a little gouge in the callous top layer, not a deep slice in!

      • i somehow managed to do that shit with just a regular triple blade gillette
        i might be fucking gifted
        (basically did the banana peel backflip….cept my peel was a razor)
        (im still not done cleaning up all the blood)

        • That sounds (and looks!) stunningly awful. I hope you heal quickly!

    • Yikes!

    • @Farscythe, yikes…are you up to date on your tetanus shot? That looks painful, but even worse, it will be hard to avoid putting pressure on it, and even socks may stick to it or be abrasive. Here…I’m gonna write you a note to get out of work for the next week. (Sends note over internet along with fake doctor credentials. )

      • @Elliecoo Oh boy, I hadn’t even thought of tetnus!

        • Oohh! Oh!! 

          That’s why we get tetanus vaccine booster shots every 10 years!

          Because vaccines WORK!

          • That’s commie talk!

      • lol yeah im up to date…..i do this kind of shit remarkably often…for all my almost never hurting myself at work where things are dangerous…i really hurt myself on a regular basis at home…
        its also why i take pictures coz its hard to be believed without proof when i call in sick sometimes…..

  4. also…unrelated to everything
    i finally found the movie the edge of tomorow should have been

    oh man… that was a lot of fun……….i ran out of popcorn

  5. Saw a pair of socks online somewhere that said “Everything hurts and I am dying.” Every time I resume body weight workouts, my body reminds me of this.

    • i like to go for..
      i am in a considerable amount of pain

    • I remember body weight workouts from when I was like 70 lbs lighter.

      Somehow this isn’t a motivation to lose weight. Hahahahhaah.

    • Found it.


    • I have a t-shirt with this on it. I believe the socks may be stolen art as the original comic is Adam Ellis. Either that or they just came up with it at the same time…

  6. @brightersideoflife I hear ya. My right hip has been hurting me. I can’t sit in the lotus position in yoga anymore, and I get a sharp pain now and then when walking. I hope it’s arthritis. I’m older than you, but still too young to have a hip replaced!

  7. Right??? Listen if this were my hands, my wrists, my knees, or my feet, I’d be like ehhh this is normal fuck it.

    But this is new pain!!! NEW!!!

    • And you can’t think of anything you did on vacation to cause it? Hope the chiropractor helps.

      • Honestly @hannibal I think it was 12 hours in the car on day 1 and 4 hours on day 2. I was feeling a little stiff on day 2 but I just wanted to get the fuck home. 

        I’m pretty sure my dumb ass sat stupid and inflamed something or slid a vertebra out of alignment. 

        • Vacation butt is a real thing.


  8. I’ve got a couple of very young co-workers, so most of my “fuck, I’m old…” comments are in regards to cultural/historical stuff.
    I’m pretty lucky in that my body is holding up okay, and most of my problems are (I think…) more due to about a decade of inactivity and stress from my last job, then just purely age related.
    I also feel that I’m fairly lucky in that I was fairly physically active in my teens/twenties, so I got a lot of the benefits of having an active youth, but I also wasn’t competitive in sports and such, so I don’t have the same damage and injuries that a lot of people my age developed from trying to “push through” injuries for some highschool sportsball game and whatnot.
    I do feel like I heal a bit slower, and an all-nighter seriously kicks my ass now.  I’m also getting  a white patch on my chest, but I kinda think that’s neat.

  9. I have chronic pain stuff so i just generally hurt all of the time. But sometimes i pull a muscle in an absolutely stupid way like sneezing, or wake up with a migraine, and am useless for 3 days. Good times. 

Leave a Reply