What changes your mind? [NOT 25/4/23]

Hi, friends!

How is your day going?

The topic today is for small or large things. Like I don’t care how much I like a clothing item, if it’s dry clean only it stays at the store. I’m not dealing with that. Plus those chemicals are carcinogenic and why require someone to expose themselves to that for my fashion when I don’t have to?

Food labels? Those don’t matter to me. If I’m looking at a food label I’m already probably eating junk food.

Counterintuitively, nutrition info on restaurant food does make me change my mind. Not the calories typically, but the sodium and sugar details will, especially the sodium! I was looking at one place to go out with coworkers and some of the entrees have more sodium than the entire daily recommended totals!!!



  1. 1) A well reasoned argument that makes a compelling case as to why my idea sucks.

    2) When someone I hate approves of something I’m agnostic to… instantly I’m against it. (Hey, I’m only … human.) But in those rare moments sometimes the logic part of the brain kicks the ego aside and goes with it because it makes sense.

    3) When it comes to food, I rarely change my mind at the last minute (unless it is a dietary restriction or unavailable) because my stomach wants what it wants (but not always in the quantity it wants.)


    • yeah…pretty much what you said

      i’ll add a fifth tho…

      5 : lazyness…..especially on my days off…. and especially when it comes to groceries

      like…there could be some fantastic bargains in town..and usually are…and i can tell myself yeah…need to get my ass out there and save the pennies…you know… be smart

      yeah…but on the other hand….i could just step outside…fall off my porch and get my shopping at the local…and you know…save time..if not money

      that option wins often as not…. which is kinda bad…..considering town center is 20 minutes walk away from me….tops

  2. A good apology works wonders with me.

    I don’t mean that in a formalistic way where someone has five boxes to check off, and if they do, they get a break.

    But if I’m waiting for a reservation at a restaurant and a five minute wait turns into a half hour, and someone comes and just says damn, I’m sorry, I know this is a pain for you… I’ll let the agita flow away  downstream.

    • As I continue to work my way through the magical-realism world of the American health care system I am apologized to all the time. That’s nice of them but it’s really unnecessary.

      “Hi, I’m Dr. X, I’m sorry we kept you waiting.” First of all, that’s why it’s called a waiting room, second of all, I’m sure you schedule someone and you think it’s going to take 20 minutes and it turns out that the patient hasn’t been entirely forthcoming about why they’re here to see you, and third of all, that’s why I try to be the first patient in the door.

      Or like having blood drawn, which I do all the time, because tests, tests, and more tests. “I’m sorry, you’re going to feel a little ‘pinch’…” Of course I am; you’re sticking a needle into me. But I don’t even flinch and haven’t for the last two years or however long my Dante-esque tour through the Inferno has taken.

      I don’t bring up my experience getting that blood transfusion from Giggles the ER Nurse, which I wrote about extensively here, but they sometimes do, as part of my medical record, and I tell them about it, and they apologize for that. First of all [I sound like one of the women on Charmed, Power of Three] the ER might be mismanaged, but that is through no fault of your own. Second of all, I’m sure you didn’t directly hire Giggles, and there is a huge shortage of medical personnel, I know that, so maybe she is the best that your pennywise/pound-foolish notionally “not-for-profit” hospital system could do. But third of all, the ER pulls patients from the local population, among whom I’ve lived for the last 15 years, and the ER does have a slight Rikers Intake Processing Center vibe to it and you can’t do much about that.

      • There are rote apologies, and there are honest efforts. The first are meaningless, but I appreciate the second type.

        It’s the difference between the recorded on hold message “we greatly aplogize for the delay, service is our passion…” and getting someone to look you in the eye and say “Damn, I screwed up. Sorry bro, that’s on me.”

        • In retrospect, what these health care people are doing is not apologizing but expressing sympathy. Kind of in the same way that when someone you know suffers the death of someone you say to them, “I’m very sorry.” You aren’t apologizing because you are not responsible for the death; you are sympathizing with the grief that they must be experiencing.

    • Exactly. My Parole Officer, Better Half, and I change each other’s minds all the time. Me, while he is exploring a designer website: “You want to spend [X] dollars on a pair of flip flops? I’ve never spent more than 1/3 of that on a pair of dress shoes.” Him: “I am not picking you up a 50-pack box of ‘individual snack packages’ White Cheddar Cheez-Its. The last time I did you went through the whole thing in three days.” [That’s the beauty of working from home.]

  3. I’ve learned that when I really dig in my heels, convinced that everyone else is wrong…it is time for me to step back and reconsider my position.

      • That’s a great appearance but he should be remembered for being the first black host on late night TV when he filled in for Johnny Carson & had an amazing guest!

        • What is sometimes forgotten about Harry Belafonte is that he was a rather large presence in the American Civil Rights movement of the 1960s. He was quite close to MLK, Jr., and supported him and his family financially and in a brotherly way. He kept this up all his life, and after his “Banana Boat Song” days fell out of favor with a big chunk of his white American fans for his “revolutionary” beliefs that, say, discriminating against and isolating Black citizens from the larger white society should not be the way to go. This landed him, of course, on the Communist-era blacklist and he was a favorite target of J. Edgar Hoover. Just recently, like three years ago or something, he said something fairly incendiary (for many whites to hear), I forget what exactly, and he would have been about 93.

          He was also born in Harlem (although partly raised by grandparents back in Jamaica) so he is a native New Yorker I can be proud of. I wish I could say the same thing about our recent once and possibly future President.

          • At several points when the SCLC was on the verge of collapse due to crooked Southern judges backing ruinous lawsuits, Belafonte was always there to get the cash needed to tide the organization through.

            Others helped out sometimes, to be clear, like people who might seem a bit surprising today, such as Tony Bennett and Frank Sinatra.

            But Belafonte was the guy who always said screw the optics, forget about getting hung up in neverending debates about the fine details over what, precisely, was the right balance and proper calculations of every this and that.

            He was the guy who delivered the cash when outrageous bail had to be met. He was the guy who didn’t dither or debate.

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