I’m a food or drink connoisseur. But I’m not someone with a refined palette who can tell the difference between something having notes of coffee versus notes of leather. Instead I prefer to focus on whether or not something is good. My approach was best stated by the philosopher Montgomery Burns: “I know what I hate, and I don’t hate this”.
Here we answer a fundamental question of life: “should you drink this?”
What I’m drinking: Slaughter House American Whiskey
One thing that all snobs have in common is that we like to suggest the least approachable versions of things so that we can tell people they just aren’t sophisticated enough to properly enjoy something. Ideally there should be something pretentious in the creation process, an ingredient that is unusual, or it should be impossible to acquire. In that vein, Splinter Group Spirits decided to try making whiskey “from a wine perspective”.
What they created is whiskey with training wheels.
Fittingly, Slaughter House is legally not bourbon. It’s something almost, but not quite, entirely like a bourbon. But it’s just that bit off that lets you know it’s different. And somehow, that’s a good thing.
This stuff is absurdly mellow and smooth. Somehow it has the burn of a strong whiskey, but without the actual burning feeling. It has the rich flavors, but not the overpowering intensity that washes them out. It has the bold smells, but nothing that lingers. It’s bourbon, with none of the downsides. For some that might leave it tasting a bit hollow, at least at first. But the flavors really are all there. And even a true snob will enjoy it.
The color: Brown.
The flavor: Bourbon, but not quite.
My initial thoughts: I think there’s something missing here. Better finish it to be sure.
Mix with: All the usual stuff.
Drink this if you like: Whiskeys. Or if you’d like to like them.
Pair with: Optimism
Good for beginners? Yes.
Recommended cocktail: Whatever your brown cocktail of choice is. It can really fit any niche that a whiskey would go in, except a peaty/smokey scotch.
Cost: $40
Budget Alternative: Water down something harsher.
Who would like this: Everyone.
Did my wife like this: No.
Fun facts to make you sound smart or interesting when you’re drinking it: Slaughter House would be a bourbon, but it’s aged in wine casks instead of new charred oak. The category “American Whiskey” is literally just any whiskey made in America, but it’s mostly used for things that don’t quite fit the overly legalistic definitions of the subcategories.
How to get this: Any liquor store.
Ideal location for drinking: Quarantine
Should you drink this: Yes.
“Who would like this: Everyone.
Did my wife like this: No.”
That’s poetry.
I do like whiskey so I’d probably drink this if I wasn’t stuck in my house and not going out except for essentials. Can you suggest any medical reason I might need this?
Mental health.
Hell yeah! A good bottle. I also have enjoyed this whiskey. My wife, also, did not.