What Superpower Would You Want? [NOT 22/12/20]

Bonus points for creativity.

I’ve been binge-watching Agents of SHIELD and I was thinking about the “cool” superpowers vs the “oh, you can do that…” superpowers.

Is there a superpower that you would want, and why?

Conversely, is there a superpower that you really really don’t want?

I’d love to be able to breathe underwater because how cool would that be!

I definitely would not want to read minds. I get annoyed when too many people are talking, the thought of even more chatter is not appealing at all. And that doesn’t even take into consideration hearing mean or heinous things people are thinking.

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32 Comments

  1. Superspeed. No question. I hate waiting. I’d love to be able to zoom past people. 

    • Do you feel like it would be annoying to go through shoes faster? I suspect moving really fast = increased friction between soles of feet and pavement. 

      • Oh, yeah, there are a TON of physics problems with superspeed, depending on how you define it. As a comics nerd, I am well versed in them. If I did have it I’d probably end up confining it to pretty short bursts to accomplish specific objectives — like washing dishes or something. I’d probably use in IN the grocery store but not to get TO the grocery store, because then you’d be trying to sprint with bags of groceries. I’d still take it. 

  2. I’d like to be able to breathe through my ears.
     

    • Oooh that would be awesome!

      Do you play a musical instrument where this would make things really interesting?

      • Yes, I play the only wind instrument where you make a note on both inhales and exhales.  If you haven’t guessed, it’s the chromatic harmonica (thought I guess all harmonicas have this property).  
        But to be honest, I wasn’t thinking about the harmonica when I made my superpower wish.

        • oh, ok, that’s different. 
           
          I was thinking, what with the ears being connected to the nose/throat, isn’t it possible to “breathe” through them with some slight (probably not pleasant…) modifications…
          but that wouldn’t help with instrument playing or whatever.  It might help if someone wrapped saran wrap around your nose/mouth (but not ears…) whilst you were restrained, or like, if you wanted to smoke a cigaretter or joint out of your ear or whatever for some reason…

  3. I remember that there was a question along these lines on OKCupid as well (hell, it’s probably still on there somewhere), but I think it asked for the preference between invisibility and flight. I think I explained in my answer that I’m not quite depraved enough to take full advantage of invisibility, but more often than not, I have somewhere else I need to be right fucking now.
     
    Aside from that, I guess shape-shifting would be pretty cool. Don’t think I’d want immortality, though – not after how long this fucking year feels like it’s lasted…. 

    • The This American Life episode I referenced above – has a segment about the difference in people who choose flight or invisibility. I won’t spoil it in case you want to read/listen to it. 

    • Invisibility would be soooo convenient when I just want to nope the fuck out of a situation. 

      • Ehh . . . flight would work almost as well in that case: Just excuse yourself to use the restroom, find a back door somewhere and just GTFO.

    • I feel really dumb now…
      In all honesty, the boundary-violating voyeur thing didn’t even occur to me, I was just thinking how much I dislike most interactions with people, and if I could just do something like walk home invisible or something, that would be a non issue. 
      Also, it might be kinda cool to just up and wander into various industrial facilities and just kinda walk around and see what’s going on. 

  4. I’m with you on the mind-reading. That would be a curse, not a super-power.
     
    I’d like telekinesis, I think. That way, when I realize I left my coffee on the counter just as I sit down to the table, I can just have it come to me instead of having to pop back up and retrieve it.
     

  5. I’d like a super high midi-chlorian count. “That is not the process you are recommending” and “you want to support this initiative” as Jedi suggestions would be very, very, good at work. There are also immediate real world applications among family and pets. I promise to eschew the dark side. 

  6. Or magic! I would love to be a mage. 

  7. Eat like a pig, and not get overweight.

  8. So many choices…
     
    As long as I could turn it on and off, I’d be good with mind reading.  I’d hate to have to spend my whole day trying to tune all the voices out–I have a hard enough time with the voices in my own head.
     
    But, I think a good superpower for me would be teleportation.  Who the hell needs to waste time flying, or running at the speed of light, when I can just POOF from here to there in an instant.  Commuting would be a breeze.

  9. I think you’re right about mind reading. I hate people enough without knowing what they’re really thinking and ugh yes loud chatterers annoy me a lot. 
    The best superpower I think for me, would be (controllable) super strength/speed/flexibility/athleticism. Oh to be able to run very very fast and pick up and move heavy things like it’s nothing at all and all day long just never get tired or a sore back ! That would be awesome

  10. …a friend once pointed out to me that magneto in the x-men comics supposedly has control of all of electromagnetism & that would be one of the four fundamental forces in physics so in theory the potential applications have a truly dizzying potential…which would be pretty neat…especially if it meant I could bully recalcitrant devices into submission when they’re driving me nuts

    …memeweaver posted a pic of dr manhattan from watchmen who has a sorta similar deal which is less defined but maybe goes further…neither of them are particularly pleasant though so I guess I’d take preserving whatever humanity I might currently possess as part of the package…but I guess those are pretty close to ellie’s suggestions of force-powers or magic-wielding

    …as has been mentioned teleportation would be useful but flight might be more fun provided I remembered to wear enough warm clothes & found some goggles that fit

    …the crazy-fast healing thing that various characters have but is perhaps most associated with wolverine &/or deadpool would arguably be pretty good if not exactly fun/comfortable

    …after this year, though, something like being able to rewind time & pick a different potential timeline has considerable appeal…so maybe some sort of extradimensional time-travelling kind of a deal

    …or the voice-of-god thing from the preacher comics…I’d give a lot for a journalist whose questions couldn’t be denied getting unleashed on knowingly false claims made by politicians…so if I had to be the journalist I guess I’d take the deal even if it does seem like an endless chore

    …this may be one of those questions I can’t narrow down to an actual answer, though…mostly super-powers are written as having some sort of baked in achilles heelto make the stories more interesting/preserve some stakes…so it feels like you’d need to get to option a suite to get upsides while negating the downsides…which seems like over-thinking a question about super-powers to a point of redundant absurdity?

    • I think I remember something similar coming up back in the usenet days, and ther ewas one response something along the lines of: “There’s a reason he’s called “Magneto” and not “Microwaveo””

  11. I don’t have a good reply, because I overthink it too much and can’t narrow it down, but your question did make me think of this comedian making fun of stupid superpowers:

  12. Also I would love to be able to communicate to bugs.

    Not because I want to be friends, but because I want to be able to be like “aphids, don’t be motherfuckers, leave my tomatoes alone” and have them scurry off to plants that aren’t my veggies. 

  13. I’m with @Lymond and @M. Perdido, I’d love to be able to communicate with animals and/or be a shapeshifter. 

  14. I’d want super organs. Nothing that leads to immortality. More of a focus on being able to eat and drink what I want without becoming unhealthy or hungover.
     
    I would hate to be immortal. Imagine living until the world implodes and then just floating away in space forever? No fucking thank you.

    • would a super-liver let you get drunk?
      This has come up in numerous comics, especially with characters who underwent some sort of “transformation”, so that they can remember what things were like as a baseline human.  I think it was also in one of the Captain America/Avengers movies, where after something tragic happened, Steve Rogers laments processing alcohol so effectively with the “super-serum” changes that he can no longer get drunk.

  15. i think i want the ability to freeze and unfreeze time…as in everything stops….except for me
    i would use it for all kinds of terrible and occasionally immature things
    also id never pay for my groceries or well anything again…
    anyhoo…i dont think i’d be a super hero

  16. I would probably go with the ability to fly. Living in Los Angeles county it takes forever to get anywhere and it would be nice to be able to just bypass all the traffic. Teleportation seems nice, but I’m also one of those people that love to just be able to enjoy the scenery, so I think being able to fly over the ocean, mountains and everything else would be lovely.

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