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  1. This week we will probably have to decide if my wife’s dad goes to hospice.  He is not getting better & unless we get a good result from the CT today he may get moved out of hospital.  Wife is being a trooper but is a tough situation.

  2. My Monday started off rough. I woke up from a chaos dream, had to deal with someone’s meltdown, and go shopping. But I was home by noon and things got better.
    I have an appointment with the eye surgeon on Wednesday and I’m very much looking forward to that. I have developed capsular opacity after my cataract surgery. It’s fairly common and supposedly very easy to fix.

    • Good luck w/ the surgeon.  My wife’s best friend just had cataract surgery in both eyes today.  I need to text her husband to see how it went.

      • I’m a big baby when it comes to medical procedures. So believe me when I tell you cataract surgery is easy and painless. No doubt it went well but I’m sure they’d still appreciate the call.

        • I had the cataract surgery and it was a breeze.  They give you some stuff that makes everything go orange and you feel like you’re flying.  My wife said that as they wheeled me into the room for the procedure I was singing the aria from Puccini “O mio babbino caro”.  I shit you not. It took a few days to get completely clear, but then I not only could see the world in beautiful clarity, but my night vision and color vision both came back.  About 1.5 years later I got a little cloud on one side (this is common after cataract surgery) and it took the doctor about 15 second with the laser to fix it and it’s been fine ever since.  In fact, I was waiting for him to start the laser procedure when I heard him say, “All done!”

  4. I traded shifts for the next two weeks because I have to do various things for my parents and the added bonus that I loathe days and prefer afternoons. My supervisors become unbearable during days and we have the added joy of extra (increasingly irritating) management nitpicking about stupid shit because they are (rightfully and in some cases well deserved) afraid for their jobs.

    Unfortunately, my parents are squabbling like kids more and more. My mom is in that stage where she thinks she is doing something right but she’s not (like hiding her purse then blaming dad for it.) My dad is actually the calm one (he was usually the first to lose his shit) right now. Ended up going to dinner at the parents and getting a free show of Who’s Afraid of Manchu’s Mom? where I watched my parents fight and yell at each other. I stopped it from getting worse. They were fighting over a lost Costco Card of all things.

    Only good thing is that being the only son, both parents will listen to me unlike my sisters (stupid patriarchal Korean cultural bias.)

    I am going to Costco with my mom tomorrow to get a replacement.

        • I’m guessing you probably *already* have the info, but if you *don’t*, one thing I’d highly recommend is getting yourself a 3-ring binder, znd whatever style of divider-tabs (pocketed, folder, plain, etc) you like best…

          Then get the info from them for ALL of their medical folks, their banks/ financial accounts, the medications they take (plus pharmacies), and the bills they have (with payment due dates!😉)–including the payment date for things like safe-deposit boxes at the bank.

          Take them to the bank, and get them to sign you onto the accounts as a co-owner of the account (then it doesn’t get locked down, someday when they pass), and reach out to their government benefits programs (Healthcare, doctors, etc), and *also* get them to sign the “permission slips” that allow you to talk to their care-people (social workers, financial workers, doctors/nurses/medical care team, etc.)!

          It’s MUCH easier to get this stuff in place, when they’re still relatively mobile & healthy-ish😉💖

          You *don’t* necessarily need to go as far as getting Power of Attorney, or becoming their health-care *whatever it’s called*–being able to talk to & plan with the care team, *and* pay the bills/talk to the financial folks, and use the account as a co-owner, can get you through almost all/all of the parts you’ll need, in caring for them.

          With Dad, I never *did* get POA, or become his health-care “guardian” (whatever that one is called), because everyone in the family *knew* what he wanted & what the overall plan was, and with everything but his recent credit-union account, he’d had me as a co-owner of the account, since 1994–when Grandpa died & his estate had to go through probate, *or* when he set the later accounts up.

          It makes things *much* easier, when they get sicker, and having *all* that stuff in one binder (“Full of Women!”–to quote ‘ol Mittens!😉😆💖), means you don’t need to go hunting that stuff down, in an emergency/rush later on.

          I’m sorry your Dad’s dealing with the Dementia thing, too, Manchu!💞💗💓, it SUCKS, but–as you’re noticing, there are some really *good* parts in there, too, sometimes!

          On a different note–as you notice him slipping back through the decades, as things progress, and if it’s not bad/traumatic for him–make SURE you ask him questions, and get him telling you & your sisters stories about his life–and *record* them if you can!💖

          The fact that he’ll be *able* to recall those times, like they *just* happened days ago, can be an incredible gift for you & your sisters, if you tap those memories–and something that any future generations of the family might love to have, too!💝💖💞💓💗

          You have ALL my empathy, my friend, and my sympathy, too!

          Dementia fucking SUCKS, but there *are* bright moments in there, too, if you can just keep a look out, and snatch ’em up quickly, when you find ’em!💝

          • This is good info. I’ve been through it twice now. The one thing I would add is that both my wife and I, for our respective mothers, kept EVERYTHING in a single bag (we used messenger bags) and we take copies (unless originals are required) of all of the information every time we go to see them (past tense in my mom’s case). Something ALWAYS comes up and you need that information and it’s sitting back at home doing you no good. Doesn’t matter how minor — cable bills, property tax notifications, whatever. It’s all there.

            It’s just our standard practice. “Going to see your mom? Got your files?”

    • It’s not only among Koreans. My wife got her mother a new phone this weekend to help her hear. Plus the old phone was ancient. So my wife carefully reads the manual and goes over there and starts installing it. My MIL starts screeching about calling my former brother-in-law because he needs to come over and help because (I guess) he’s a man. He’s also an idiot. He’s also not even married to my wife’s sister any more. But my MIL would not shut up until she got him over there. Whereupon he ate Wendy’s and watched my wife install the phone.

      But my MIL was happy because a man oversaw the installation process.

  5. @Loveshaq holding you and your family in my thoughts. As someone who has been there, I am here to be a non-judgmental, listening ear, should you want one. Wishing you and Mrs Shaq strength, acceptance, and peace.

    • Thank you Ellie & all.  I’m not looking for sympathy but appreciate my friends here deeply.  I’m sad for my wife, my father-in-law & everyone that loves him but as someone said here, the US death rate is 100%.  We all die & if you live to 92 you did great or overstayed your welcome.  I’m doing my best to make sure I don’t get that old!  I just hate that it costs so much to die with dignity in this country & we don’t have universal healthcare

  6. i have no plans…2 weeks off here

    so obviously me mums picking me up later to go do manual labour for her

    some bricks need shifting and a fuck load of yard work needs doing

    unfortunately me brothers the smart one…so he gets picked for the easy jobs…like setting up the wifi (not like i couldnt….but thats details)

    im the big dumb grunt…useful for heavy lifting and mooning neighbours

  8. Anyone watching S3 of The Witcher? Brighter, RIP, Farscythe?

    I just finished the first episode and am wondering if they changed directors or had budget cuts or something. It feels cheap and cheesy. The action/fight scenes are cringeworthy. The worldbuilding seems to have contracted and the outdoor settings are so fake you can tell they are filmed in a studio. I’m left wondering if it was always like that or if there has been a shift in production. Also 😆 and 🤢 to Geralt, Yennefer and Ciri playing happy blended family. What is going on with this show??? I don’t know if it’s worth watching anymore.

    • I am but like you I’ve only watched the premier. I wonder if the fact that Geralt is getting recast is making them basically tread water for a season. I’ll try a couple more. But in the past I binged it pretty avidly. This time it’s “eh, maybe this weekend I’ll watch one.’

    • I never finished season 2 because I got so bored with it.

      Also I don’t have blackout curtains and with Netflix’s color and light scheme for their shows, I can only see most of the damn screen details once it’s darker out.

    • i havent started season 2 yet…i think

      i think im the only person in the house that hardly watches anything on tv or netflix lately

      i have a sitting still problem….in that i cant seem to manage it for more than 20 minutes….its been putting me off trying to watch series or movies quite a bit…

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