Who is the dumbest you have? [NOT 1/8/22]

Hi, friends!

Tomorrow is the primary for our 2022 elections in Missouri.

Amidst the crowded field of fucking republican clowns, we have Mark McCloskey. It’s like Missouri republicans saw Tommy Tuberville in Alabama and went “hold my beer, we can find someone even less qualified!”

Who is Mark McCloskey? If you recall the super white racist suburban couple who got scared by BLM protesters passing their house to go protest at the mayor’s house down the street? The ones that caused all the memes because the dude was standing there with an automatic rifle in his old white dude clothes?

Yeah, that dude. He’s running for the primary to try to become a Senator. What qualifications does he have for politics? Well he pointed a gun at a bunch of black people, so I guess that’s enough for Missouri.

You got any local politicians running that are so fucking ridiculous that you can’t even understand it?

*Just fyi the expectation is that Eric Greitens will win the republican primary for Senate. He was our governor before he resigned about 5 years ago over a scandal with a mistress and some light BDSM that he seemed totally fine to weather until there were questions about campaign financing and abruptly he resigned. He’s currently accused of being a wife beater, too. So naturally the right person for the party that screams about family values.



  1. Born with a silver spoon and wearing a bad toupee Rand Paul is running against the fantastic Charles Booker. But my fellow Kentuckians are so stupid there’s no doubt Paul will be re-elected. 😭

    • The other Eric, state attorney general Eric Schmidt, is acting out rightwing fantasies by suing school districts over mask rules.

      Also possible that he thought his own rat-faced son, Eric Trump, was running in this primary.

  2. Pfft. I live in Florida. I’ll see whatever local asshole you can present and raise you this asshole.

    GOP hopeful sold tear gas used on Black Lives Matter protesters

    Cory Mills promises to help media ‘shed some real tears’

    To be fair, you said dumbest. Not most evil. In the sheer stupidity sweepstakes, I’d go with little Marco:

    Republicans split on proposed law to guarantee gay marriage as Rubio calls it ‘a stupid waste of time’

    Even most Republicans are in favor of marriage equality. Little Marco is siding with the minority against public opinion. If there is a God, Val Demings will demolish him.

    • Little Marco (“Marquito”) would be against gay marriage, because when he was doing all that coke and attending foam parties at gay clubs in Miami in the 90s the last thing he wanted to be was tied down to any one man.


      The saddest thing of all is that we used to go to Warsaw (the club) in the 90s and there were tons of short, hot gay Cuban-American men to gawk at. Our next-door neighbor in South Beach was a short, hot gay Cuban-American man and through him/his job we got this pass so that not only were we allowed into Warsaw (within walking distance of that apartment) whenever we wanted, we never had to pay for anything. It was fantastic at the time, that’s not the sad part, the sad part is that neither of us do cocaine but we used to chat with plenty of fellow club-goers who did and yet, under oath, I couldn’t testify that one was named Marco Rubio. He probably had a club name anyway and wasn’t called Marco/Marquito.

  3. Dummy and Clod

    Clod’s pointing (not even aiming) the muzzle of his assault rifle at Dummy.  One quick pull and she’s done. Okay, I get he’s a lefty, but the ejection port is going to shoot hot brass at his ample gut.

    Meanwhile she’s holding her pistol like some 1930s Bonnie imitator from a B-movie.  “You see heyre bad boy?  Mwaaaah.”

    He won’t win even though a lot of the GOPer voters are pretty much THIS guy:

    • Since I don’t follow sprots I’ve always been haunted by that Cardinals’ fan photo. Is that a reference to the baseball team or the football team? And why would both teams call themselves Cardinals, especially after all that we know about the past misbehavior of RC Cardinals? Couldn’t the baseball team, at least, pick a color and call themselves, I don’t know, the Green Sox or the Purple Sox, like they do in Chicago and Boston?

      • Oh that’s 100% St Louis Cardinals MLB logo and the dipshit was protesting something near St Louis a few years ago when it was taken.

        Does it help that we’re also the redbirds and most Cardinals gear is cardinal bird red?

        • So Cardinals was a generic term for any and every professional sports team in St. Louis? That’s interesting. I wonder why. I’ve long wondered why the Toronto Blue Jays are called that. I always thought it was funny that the Montréal Canadiens are called that, because for decades there’s been this movement in Montréal to not be “Canadien” but to be something TBD at a later date. I should really look into this. Why is the Boston hockey team called “Bruins”? Or, “The Broonz,” as I think it’s pronounced locally.

          In New York it’s much more straightforward. The Yankees, obviously, because we are Yankees and everything south and west of metro Philadelphia fills us with free-floating existential dread, until we get old and then Boca here we come. The Mets, that’s short for Metropolitans, and we are the biggest metropolis in the country, despite our parochialism, see my last sentence. The Giants, we are giants, our problems and flaws are gigantic, we gave the world Rudy Giuliani and Donald Trump, but also FDR and Barbra Streisand so…The Jets, that must have something to do with our airports, which are simultaneously among the biggest and the worst in the country. The Islanders I think is a reference to Long Island, and they play somewhere on Long Island, but I couldn’t tell you where. It’s not the Hamptons, I can tell you that much.

  4. We got plenty dumb here.  I went to high school with one CON MP backbencher… arrogant fuckwit, too. Despite the dunces in the CON ranks, he wasn’t SMURT enough to be a cabinet minister (must rankle because he thought he was pretty Smurt.)

    The only reason he keeps getting elected is because his riding is a home of “white” flight and he moved there after he lost his allegedly safe seat in a landslide.

    Not only he’s corrupt, but he’s a fundie wannabe, an anti-abortionist AND a trucker fucker convoy loving loon.

    • Did I ever tell you (all) that one of my nephews was caught up in the Ottawa Trucker Fucking? Yes. He works for a company where everyone’s work-from-home and he’s buddies with their “Ottawa guy”, and weeks beforehand he arranged to go up to Ottawa to hang out and blithely set sail (from the US, mind you). So then he got to Ottawa just at the beginning of the mayhem and was penned in on a street in a city where he’d never been and had to be rescued  by his Ottawa connection, with an assist from the local constabulary, who had to clear room so he could get his car out of the chaos.

      I enjoy a good anarchic clusterfuck as much as the next man so I asked him whether he took the opportunity to climb onto the roof of his car and scream anti-Trudeau and anti-vaxx slogans, preferably in heavily accented Québécoise. He had no idea what I was talking about. He is my sister’s son, so I said, “You really do take after your father.”

      • Apparently everything is/was working fine down below, because doesn’t an unacknowledged child pop up every week or so? Imagine fathering that many children by that many women. I guess Genghis Khan did it, but that was a while ago and under very different circumstances.

        You know who had a ton of children is Dog the Bounty Hunter, who has 12. I have no comment, except to say that I wish I didn’t know this.

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