Hi, friends!
I hope your weekend went well and you’re rested for the week ahead.
Tonight’s NOT is brought to you by my brain being fixated on this Estee Lauder set I want to buy. And I chose fixated intentionally here, because like there’s no need for it. I am not even much of a makeup person anymore. I am not out of skin care, I had my cart all figured out the other day at work *when I was totally working and not shopping for a mental health break* and I stopped myself because I knew I needed to assess if I already had enough of what I had in the cart. It was a good decision.
But my brain… is still thinking about it. More than I should. I’ve been axing facebook ads for it, so that’s helped. Deep sigh, why are brains like this?
Is there anything you’ve been fixated on? Did you shake it off? In the past I’ve just needed to wait it out and it’s dissipated.
I really want a Steam Deck but know I can’t justify spending that kind of money. But I still look at them all the time to see if the prices are dropping. They aren’t, at least not enough.
I had to google what that was because I don’t know shit about fuck when it comes to gaming. It looks cool, you should get one!
But to get the memory I want I’d have to spend at least $800. Just to play games. 😬Maybe someday.
I can’t stop focusing on getting my new car. They keep fucking with me on the delivery date. They are having trouble with the delivery company but at least keep me updated & don’t keep giving me dates you know won’t happen. It was scheduled for last week Friday, then yesterday then today but I know it is still in CA!
That sucks. Aren’t you supposed to drive or fly down there with a friend and road trip back home?
They sent a “survey” to judge interest in that but never got back to me when I tried to figure logistics. Now I am mad & want them to have to deliver. Sad thing, I may have to go to the Bay Area in the next couple weeks to do construction projects on my father in laws old house to sell it.
Food. I have been running around not eating much or well thanks dealing with mom’s collapsing mental state due to dementia.
I have been dreaming of soup and other home cooked food instead of mediocre pizza or burgers. I don’t have time to cook so if I eat it is not well until lunch today (I feel better.)
Is there anybody close to you who can drop off some food so you don’t have to use that mental energy? Like my parents’ neighbors just brought over a casserole for my mom one day and a few days later another neighbor brought over tortellini soup.
For me when I’ve been in a food desert situation, just being able to pick up a bag of oranges or baby carrots helps make those fast food meals feel more human. Good luck.
It sounds like you need some comfort food.
I’m obsessed with getting a 1930’s National Tri-Cone squareneck resonator like the one my friend Sebastian Mueller is playing in the video below. I’ve actually dreamt about it. I saw one in Vintage Rock and Roll in Chicago but they wanted $4k for it. I would settle for one of the newer models, but they’re still about the same price. I put a buck on the lottery every week with the intent of giving all of it but $4k to my wife and daughter to do as they please and pulling the trigger. That’s probably the only way it’s going to happen.
My passport was expiring next year so I just sent it in for renewal.
I have no idea where I would like to go, but once it comes back I can start the dreaming process.
I keep meaning to visit Iceland.
Which is delightful as I hate winter. I guess I’d go during summer when it’s just chilly but not snowy.
I checked flight costs, and oof maybe not in 2024. Then I was like hmmm Lufthansa added a nonstop from STL to Frankfurt and wowsers also nope not with those prices.
We flew through & we’re supposed to take my eldest as a grad present. She ended up doing it on her own on the backside of our Euro trip. It’s an easy trip from SEA so going to go in a year or so for sure. Crazy beautiful but you need serious tech gear for best experience.
i played hotwheels unleashed at a mates place the other day…..and after 48 hours of telling myself i probably shouldnt spend the money it somehow ended up on my pc
wierd that
anyways….next time we meet….im totally kicking his ass
not competetive me
(that aside tho…the game really is more fun than it has any rights to be)
Too many things to list and also typing them out amps my stress levels up. I get fixated on things that I either can’t control or can’t do anything about in the moment and then I imagine a hundred possible negative outcomes. I also obsessively revisit bad memories. Mostly this happens at night when I finally have a moment to myself. Which is why I consume so much entertainment media (video games, tv, books). Escapism is my drug of choice. At least it isn’t sex, drugs, and rock&roll anymore.