Why Do People Laugh When I Say I’m Hung Up On Women So Much Younger Than Me…

Why All The Snickering?

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… Women Singers So Much Younger Than Me, That Is?

David Broke
By David Broke
I Don’t Get the Joke. Did I Say Something Funny? Someone Help Me Out Here.

I just published a column and for reasons I don’t understand, people are laughing at me. Can anyone explain what’s going on?

At first I thought it was something about the show all the hip people watch, Saturday Night Live. But then I looked at the rerun of the latest one on that Paramount streaming thing (or is it Amazon? I can’t keep them straight), and it didn’t seem to be related.

One thing I wrote was that even though I’m in my 50s (OK, somebody figured out that I’m actually in my 60s) I still want things like I was a 15 year old boy. Like girls. Is that so funny? Is there anything in my life that would suggest there’s something funny about that?

OK, here I am a man in my 60s confessing how much I’m really, really, really into Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, Beyonce, Lana Del Rey, Billie Eilish, and Kesha. I’m not sure I get why that’s funny? Is it something I did?

Fine, Here’s A Young Woman I Don’t Like

Look, it’s not like I’m attracted to all women much younger than me who make music. Take Alexandria Occasio-Cortez, for example. I wrote last month about how she and Trump are basically the same. Oh wait, she’s not a musician. Well, I still don’t like her.

Somehow in my complaints about Trump I seemed to focus on how boorish he is, and left out killing countless Americans with Covid, trying to launch a coup, working to hand over Ukraine to the Russians, and making the Pentagon afraid he was a massive security threat to the entire country.

Well, being distasteful is bad too. And aren’t all bad things basically the same?

And it’s unfair to call me uninterested in policy details. Why, I came up with the detailed critique of AOC’s Green New Deal. As I explained, it’s “cotton candy.”

I mean, if I’m going to challenge somebody on substance, what alternative do I have except being completely superficial?

What is the deal with the Green New Deal, anyway? I mean, I’m sure global warming is real. I just probably agree with my colleague Blecch Stevens that the way to solve it is to do nothing and wait for our friend The Invisible Hand to fix it. Although I’d probably add we need some moralizing too. But only the right kind. Not the AOC kind.

Seriously, all she did was learn a huge amount about a deadly serious issue, work within the legislative process, engage in long rounds of compromise, give up a lot of what she wanted, left the window open for a reluctant final vote from a senator with one of the biggest coal mining industries in the country, and then help enact a law by a process envisioned by the founders.

Basically the same as Trump launching an armed mob to overthrow our entire system of government in violation of the Constitution while lying shameless the entire time. Not that I’d portray what he did that way. More of a populist thing. That makes him the same as AOC. THAT’S JUST LOGIC.

Anyway, back to Kesha. What can I say? I’m like a 15 year old boy when I think of her. HER MUSIC, THAT IS.

David Broke is definitely not a thought leader who writes for a non-self absorbed paper which never deserves any criticism by a bunch of liberals who it turns out didn’t love Twitter so much after all. Just because they were critiquing Twitter all along, how were we supposed to know? Were we really supposed to listen to them? We’ve been too busy trying to figure out how to get scabs to run things in case we couldn’t get enough of the political reporters to cross picket lines to keep the paper open. Anyway, Broke can best be described as a parody of a serious thinker.



    • There’s a dumb trope among rightwing pundits to burp out these bits from time to time.

      Oh, I seem all buttoned up, but really I’m a fan of the rock and roll music and the hip hops.

      The Grateful Dead, for whatever reason, were recipients of this for a long time, with creeps like Tucker Carlson, Ann Coulter and Dana Rohrabacher supposedly being big fans.

      This kind of branding is the heart of Jeremy Peters’ moronic “analysis” claiming Musk isn’t really a modern fascist — why, he smokes the marijuana sometimes and says it should be legal.

      • I hate that. For example: It’s true Hitler liked dogs and was vegetarian, but it doesn’t change what he did. Still a slaughtering maniac who lit off WW2 that killed millions.

        • Hitler also detested smoking and instituted some of the world’s first public smoking bans. He (and Goebbels) also loved the concept of television and they started rolling out Fernsehhallen (TV halls) across the country where citizens could go and watch State-approved programming. They went even further. Parts of the 1936 Berlin Olympics were broadcast in color throughout the Reich. Color TV didn’t become widespread in America until about 30 years later. The Federal Interstate Highway System instituted under Eisenhower in the 1950s was directly based on the Autobahns he had observed while leading the Allied troops through Germany after D-Day and the Battle of the Bulge. Nazi Germany developed the concept of limited-stop high-speed trains. Shipbuilding advances. The foresight that air travel and its military applications were the future. He instituted a common European currency (through conquest) controlled by the German Central Bank, exactly like today, although the EU and especially the Germans like to pretend that the euro is not really the Reichsmark going by a different name. The list is endless.

          If Hitler had been sane and authoritarian, like turning Germany into what Singapore turned into after the war, he would have won a war by peaceful means. Many British travelers who traveled to Germany between 1933 and 1939 (and thus were shielded from the horrific social brutality that was part and parcel of all of this) returned to the UK and despaired that their country could never match the ingenuity and the industriousness of their cousins on the other side of the North Sea. And they were pretty much right.

  1. Amazing to be that up his own ass about the importance of his words.

    If a person likes pop music when they’re a teenager, and then keeps liking current pop music through their adulthood, they like music that spans decades, not just whatever the current 15 yr olds listen to? Like he never says he stopped listening to Springsteen or Bowie or Pet Shop Boys, just that he’s also listening to whatever is current pop?

    Like I’m in my late 30s and will listen to a range of stuff from the last 50 years, but I too prefer pop music because I like the easy upbeat tempos.

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