Why is cauliflower?

I thought we could take a break from our living nightmare to fight about food.

Cauliflower is the ghost of broccoli and it haunts us all.

I don’t hate cauliflower. It’s fine. It’s like how I don’t hate a white t-shirt. However, I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why anyone would choose cauliflower over any other vegetable.

It tastes like whatever you put on it. You people are going to put all these recipes in the comments, explain to me how yummy they are, and all of them would work exactly fine on another vegetable – and bonus points, that vegetable would have flavors!

Don’t try to change my mind. I know you’re wrong.



  1. You are correct. Cauliflower has no reason to exist. It is flavorless, colorless, and purposeless.

    Oh, and the next motherfucker that tries to tell me that “mashed cauliflower” should be a thing is getting a ladle of gravy up the ass.

  2. I tried to like cauliflower, because it’s healthy I guess. I ate it riced – blah. I ate it as gnocchi – ick. I baked it in a pie with broccoli and cheese – it tasted like broccoli and cheese. The only way I liked it was battered, fried,and covered in Buffalo wing sauce. At that point it’s no longer good for me so why bother?

    • Yeah I mean…I am a little bit lucky in that I like healthy food just fine and am a good cook, and I don’t need to cauliflower-ify things like pizza crust because I’d rather just eat real pizza infrequently than bastardize it. I guess if you’re starting from a place where you eat pizza several times a week, it’s good to attempt a cauliflower crust (insert whatever food people have been cauliflowering in place of pizza and it stands).

      My favorite (least favorite), is that every so often the vegetarian option on a menu is a cauliflower steak while everyone else gets a cut of meat, and I’m like GET SOME FUCKING PROTEIN IN THAT MEAL!

  3. You are out of your mind! The best food things are ones that taste like nothing so you can choose what they taste like with various spanfellers and spices!

    …and aloo gobi is awesome!

  4. I will say that at one point I had some sushi in which the rice was replaced by riced cauliflower, and it was… pretty good, actually. I’d eat it again.

    Otherwise, yes it’s just aggressively “fine”.

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