Would You Rather [NOT 22/3/24]

Crossroads sign
The Devil's Crossroads / Clarksdale Mississippi / Carol M, Highsmith, photographer / 2016 / source: https://www.loc.gov/item/2017879233

When You Come To The Crossroads, Would You Rather…

You’re in a car with three other people and you’re stuck in a traffic jam. Or maybe you’re stuck in a hotel room on vacation, it’s raining, and the wifi is down. What do you do? Play WOULD YOU RATHER!

  • Would you rather be locked in a room with 10 hornets or 1,000 roaches?
  • If you had to choose, would you rather give up all meat for life, or all sweets?
  • Would you rather be able to understand what cats say, or dogs?
  • Would you rather fight 100 mules the size of a pigeon or one pigeon the size of a mule?
  • Would you rather go to London or Tokyo?
  • Would you rather go to Philadelphia or Houston?
  • Would you rather be trapped in an elevator for an hour with your worst relative or your worst coworker?
  • Would you rather have one ounce of great chocolate or one ounce of great lobster?
  • Would you rather sneeze for ten minutes or cough for ten minutes?
  • Would you rather be Wayne Gretzky or Tom Brady?
  • Would you rather remember your dreams more clearly, or never remember another dream for the rest of your life?

Answer any of these. Or, dear Deadsplinterchoosers, offer up your own dilemmas for the rest of us here, and we can say what we’d choose.

As for me, I’d definitely choose roaches, Philadelphia, and chocolate, but if the question was would I rather have eight ounces of chocolate or lobster, I’d choose lobster.

Bonus points for explanations why you’d choose one. For example, I have no idea what Houston is like, but Philly has great pork sandwiches and decent mass transit for getting around, which makes it an easy place to visit. And while I love dogs, I think listening to what they say all the time would drive me crazy more than cats.

No wrong answers, and definitely no wrong versions of “would you rather” that you want to ask the rest of us. It’s all for fun!

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18 Comments

    • Would you rather be locked in a room with 10 hornets or 1,000 roaches? Hornets, no question. 
    • If you had to choose, would you rather give up all meat for life, or all sweets? All sweets. No bacon? Life isn’t worth living. 
    • Would you rather be able to understand what cats say, or dogs? I’m good without either. I doubt any of it would make me feel better about myself. 
    • Would you rather fight 100 mules the size of a pigeon or one pigeon the size of a mule? One pigeon. Mules are mean as fuck.
    • Would you rather go to London or Tokyo? Damn. I want to go to both. Probably London. 
    • Would you rather go to Philadelphia or Houston? Been to both for extended periods. On balance, I’ll take Philadelphia. 
    • Would you rather be trapped in an elevator for an hour with your worst relative or your worst coworker? Worst coworker. If I murdered my relative, my family would want to have words. 
    • Would you rather have one ounce of great chocolate or one ounce of great lobster? Allergic to lobster.
    • Would you rather sneeze for ten minutes or cough for ten minutes? I have, in fact, done both for 10 minutes (allergies and asthma). Sneezing is way better than coughing. As long as you have Kleenex.
    • Would you rather be Wayne Gretzky or Tom Brady? Tom Brady. Seriously, I know nothing about Wayne, but Tom was married to a supermodel. 
    • Would you rather remember your dreams more clearly, or never remember another dream for the rest of your life? More clearly, I think. I have some awesome dreams. 

    • Gretzky is married to actress Janet Jones and seems to be a good person. Brady is a Trumpian CTE victim. The super model divorced him for a reason. Upon rereading this, that is a fairly harsh opinion. You do you!

      • Gretzky is arguably a dumber Trumpian than Brady.

        • It would be an interesting expansion if you could take over their executive functions and start reversing that nonsense.

    • There are a lot of “would you rather” pages online, with a bunch of scenarios where you’re stuck with one type of person or another. The coworker option got me thinking of this classic bit from The Onion.

    • Hornets
    • Meat
    • Dogs
    • Pigeon-sized mules
    • London
    • Philly
    • Coworker
    • Lobster
    • Sneeze
    • Wayne Gretzky
    • Never remember dreams

    Would you rather throw a party or go to a party? (I’m team throw a party.)

    • I’d definitely rather go. You have a lot more control when the evening is over.

    • Loners can’t throw parties that include more than one person…so…throw a party. LOL

  1. 1 10 Hornets (been there.) I have seen the movie Creepshow and a billion times no to roaches.

    2 Death

    3 I am a dog person but hearing the constant neediness would drive me mad. Cats snark and would be throwing nasty insults… I have lived with my mom… So Cats.

    4 Pigeon sized mules.

    5 London (I have been to Tokyo)

    6 Phillie

    7 I already had to deal with 3 hours being crapped on by dementia afflicted mom so I guess I have already been there.  One hour trapped with my worst coworker? Bring it. Only one of us will be walking out of the elevator. It won’t be him.

    8 Lobster

    9 Sneeze

    10 Wayne (what kind of good Canadian boy would I be if picked Brady?)

    11 More clearly

    • Wayne vs. MJ would be harder. Both actual GOATs. Still…as a Canadian…definitely Wayne.

    • Would you rather be locked in a room with 10 hornets or 1,000 roaches?

    Roaches…because they scatter when the lights go on. Source -Weekend at Bernie’s:

    https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/d39749f2-90d1-4e8b-9c41-7faa017e82d3

    • If you had to choose, would you rather give up all meat for life, or all sweets?

    Both…but I’ve already been off the meat for well over half my life. If maple syrup (the ONLY syrup) wasn’t sweet I’d have been off of all the sweets for the same amount of time.

    • Would you rather be able to understand what cats say, or dogs?

    Dogs. Cats pretend to give a fuck but they don’t. Dog’s don’t either but they’re at least appreciative and loyal.

    • Would you rather fight 100 mules the size of a pigeon or one pigeon the size of a mule?

    One pigeon. I love animals and am a pacifist. I’m certain I could convince one pigeon to be a grown up and use their words.

    • Would you rather go to London or Tokyo?

    London. But only because Jake is there and I could go to a Chelsea match.

    • Would you rather go to Philadelphia or Houston?

    Neither. I have been to both several times and, no offense to anyone, I prefer not to go to “shithole countries.”

    • Would you rather be trapped in an elevator for an hour with your worst relative or your worst coworker?

    My worst co-worker because I’m their superior so when I suggest they try to crawl up the shaft, they’ll feel obligated to try.

    • Would you rather have one ounce of great chocolate or one ounce of great lobster?

    I’d rather visit a shithole country.

    • Would you rather sneeze for ten minutes or cough for ten minutes?

    Sneeze for ten minutes. I’m used to it during ragweed season from August to first frost in October anyway.

    • Would you rather be Wayne Gretzky or Tom Brady?

    Wayne Gretzky. Wayne is the actual GOAT. Tom Brady wasn’t even a tenth as good as Peyton Manning. Also, I wish I was Wayne so I could make him smart instead of a Trump-humping POS in a shithole country!

    • Would you rather remember your dreams more clearly, or never remember another dream for the rest of your life?

    I can neither fathom the not remembering bit nor would I want to.

     

  2. re: the chocolate vs. lobster…would, “I’d rather visit Gary, Indiana” be funnier?

    I couldn’t decide 🙁

  3. Would you rather be locked in a room with 10 hornets or 1,000 roaches? How big is the room and how long will I be stuck in there? Roaches won’t hurt me and I can eat them if needed.

     

    If you had to choose, would you rather give up all meat for life, or all sweets? My sweet tooth has been acting up lately, so I’ll go with that. *she says as she eats a sleeve of Newman’s Own Vanilla Newman O’s (Oreo knock off)*

    Would you rather be able to understand what cats say, or dogs? Cats. They’re probably more bitchy than dogs and therefore more entertaining.

    Would you rather fight 100 mules the size of a pigeon or one pigeon the size of a mule? If I have to kill many animals vs one, I’ll do the one. Plus pigeons are dumb AF and have hollow bones so it won’t be hard.

    Would you rather go to London or Tokyo? Tokyo! It’s on the top of my bucket list.

    Would you rather go to Philadelphia or Houston? Ideally neither. I guess Philadelphia because fuck Texas.

    Would you rather be trapped in an elevator for an hour with your worst relative or your worst coworker? Coworker. Oh wait I’m a stay at home mom so my family are my coworkers.

    Would you rather have one ounce of great chocolate or one ounce of great lobster? If it’s just an ounce, then chocolate because it can be savoured. If it’s eight ounces as mentioned above then lobster.

    Would you rather sneeze for ten minutes or cough for ten minutes? Sneeze. It’s more entertaining.

    Would you rather be Wayne Gretzky or Tom Brady? I’ll pick the Canadian because of national loyalty.

    Would you rather remember your dreams more clearly, or never remember another dream for the rest of your life? For sure remember more clearly. I love my dreams and remember a fair amount of them. Mostly my dreams are nightmarishly stressful but they are always damn entertaining.

    In my twenties, I used to host parties a couple of times per year mostly because none of my friends would. Now that I have more adult friends I prefer to be a guest.

    • I think I’d rather remember my dreams more clearly  even though I have the usual occasional nightmare and annoying anxiety dreams.

      Although I wonder if I did start remembering them if I’d have to spend more time every morning processing them.

    • Would you rather be locked in a room with 10 hornets or 1,000 roaches? I’ve been swarmed in the past. Roaches 100% of the time.
    • If you had to choose, would you rather give up all meat for life, or all sweets? Just push a pillow over my face until I stop moving.
    • Would you rather be able to understand what cats say, or dogs? Dogs because I have conversations with mine all the time.
    • Would you rather fight 100 mules the size of a pigeon or one pigeon the size of a mule? A beak the size of a baseball bat?! Fuck that shit, give me the mules.
    • Would you rather go to London or Tokyo? Hard to choose. I love sushi and English food is…well…you know, but I wouldn’t be able to deal with the insane Tokyo nightlife. I guess London. I can always find an Italian restaurant.
    • Would you rather go to Philadelphia or Houston?  That’s a joke, right? Who the fuck goes to Texas on purpose?
    • Would you rather be trapped in an elevator for an hour with your worst relative or your worst coworker? Worst co-worker 100% of the time. I can tell the to fuck themselves and not have to pay an emotional price for the rest of my life.
    • Would you rather have one ounce of great chocolate or one ounce of great lobster? Chocolate because I can get great lobster whenever I want.
    • Would you rather sneeze for ten minutes or cough for ten minutes? When I was younger, my lungs were in terrible shape from the cleaning chemicals we used at my first job. I would go on these hours-long coughing jags until I coughed up blood and little pieces of m lungs. So, sneezing all the way.
    • Would you rather be Wayne Gretzky or Tom Brady? I’d rather be Tom Brady’s ex-wife. Rich, hot and free.
    • Would you rather remember your dreams more clearly, or never remember another dream for the rest of your life? I don’t get nightmares often, but when I do I appreciate not being able to remember them after a while, so forget them all.
    • Nobody, and I mean literally nobody, comes to our parties. It got so bad we stopped trying to make parties happen. So I’ll just go to theirs.

    • Houston supposedly has great food, but I can’t imagine driving there.

      I’d go to a party at your house, especially if it was daytime and I could sneak out and go see the otters.

  4. 1 hornets (tho…if youd said a thousand hornets as well….i’d probably reconsider…i can deal with 10)

    2 i rarely have either…so dont care…..but meat

    3 cats…i would regret this too for they are assholes….

    4….eh…..honestly im just trying to figure out how bigly mule size pigeon shit would be…like….would you be able to find your car again if you parked under a tree?

    5 tokyo….havent seent it yet

    6 tbh…i dont know whats in philly….but houston had a very touchy feely customs agent last time i went….so i guess ill go there…..you know….not everyday you get complimented after a pat down…..apparently im that easy

    7 relative….murdering them wont cost me my job……unless im caught

    and im skipping the rest

     

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