Yo, Where the Fuck is Joe Biden?

Did we do the the thing again where we fast tracked someone who doesn’t really want to be President into a position to be President and now he’s sitting back and watching the world burn while actual politicians try to do something?

Because this is essentially a lay-up for Biden. Even though Donald Trump’s approval ratings have slightly increased, it has done so on the same partisan lines that have divided this country. At a time when Trump is aggressively pushing for the economy to be re-opened among a host of other stupid, bad things, it’d be nice if someone other than New York state governor Andrew Cuomo and a host of other governors across the country attacked Trump and re-asserted something roughly approximating true facts.

If Biden is truly worried about how attacking Trump will affect his chances come November, all Joe has to do is remind America that any plan that calls for Americans to go back to work by Easter will all but assuredly lead to thousands of deaths. All Biden would have to do is point how Trump has refused to use the power of the federal government and the executive office to do anything. All he’d have to do is look at the American people and point out how many lies this fucking jabroni has told, on a fucking nightly basis, with seemingly zero push-back from the media sources who are tasked with setting the record straight.

And don’t tell me it’s tough for Joe to get his message out. There’s no shortage of avenues through which Joe Biden could show the fuck up. Joe Biden could show up on fucking ESPN if wanted. 24-hour cable news would gladly like something to talk about. Late night TV shows are cobbling together shows using little more than a handful of video conferencing software and hard working editors. Don’t tell me there’s no where Joe fuckin’ Biden, Barack Obama’s bestest friend and the former vice president of the United States and the goddamn Democratic frontrunner, can go to get the fucking word out and to maybe seem, I dunno, kinda sorta Presidential in a time of national crisis.

In 2008, in the midst of a financial crisis, Senator John McCain called for himself and Barack Obama to suspend their campaigns for president until such a time when the crisis was over. Obama, politely, fucking declined. Just because there is a crisis happening doesn’t mean you stop campaigning. It doesn’t mean that you can’t point out how a series of boneheaded decisions made by your opponent has led directly to the tragedy that’s ongoing. Telling the truth is never a problem. More than half the country still disapproves of the job Trump is doing as President. Nail him on that shit.

Because as of now, Trump is essentially running unopposed and getting praise from pundits for merely showing up and only vomiting on the podium instead of vomiting and shitting on it. “This is the Trump we need at the moment, a Trump who understands that you can throw up like a toddler at the podium, but not do a big poopy on it. Good job, Trump! Want a cookie? Of course you do!”

Biden is already a deeply uninspiring frontrunner, but acting as though attacking Trump is going to derail his campaign (which has already come off the fucking rails, crashed into a building, flown through the air, and somehow managed to make it back onto the tracks, powered by little else than his own ability to be an empty suit with a pulse that is tied to the old president that we all still like) is the kind of political cowardice that makes him a deeply uninspiring frontrunner.

Biden is supposed to host a townhall on CNN, and maybe then we’ll see if Biden has the stones to actually call Trump out on his bullshit, and maybe cause Trump to get back on his bullshit and reveal his fucking awfulness, which he’s keeping at a nice, medium, 8 1/2 out of 10 instead of a fucking 20.

Fucking hell, man. If you can’t manage to land compelling fucking blows against Trump now, when the fuck can you, Joe?

About KC Complains A Lot 135 Articles
KC Complains A Lot is another refugee from Deadspin. He enjoys writing and not caving to pressure from herbs.


  1. While I don’t think Biden should be jumping into every little dispute over masks right now, he absolutely needs to be making the case that he is the compassionate guy right now.

    First, he needs to be saying that we need to treat everyone’s health the same, so that some 73 year old hotel owner doesn’t get special treatment that is denied to an unemployed guy.

    Second, he needs to be pushing the message that the economic help flows goes to everyone, and we can’t hand out tax cuts for big investors until everyone can afford to eat.

    He has seven months to do this, and he needs to start now. Jumping in with this mesaage in three months is too late.

  2. It’s enormously frustrating, and I worry that Joe–who is Still acting like the political world *hasn’t* made seismic shifts since he was last in office 3+ short hellscapes ago–has a team of dumbass motherfuckers AROUND him, who ALSO don’t understand the amount of digital marketing which will be needed against a team of folks with resorts to shill & fill.
    Turdbuckets who *do* understand digital media, and who have the Cambridge Analytica & other dark-money sources & resources to prove that fact…

    Joe has ALWAYS been a leaden campaigner *at BEST*, anc amazingly gaffe-prone, etc…

    But if the folx *around* him aren’t taking that into their calculations, we could be fucked.

  3. “I don’t think the public wants to hear criticism of Trump right now.”

    who the fuck told you that? fatty’s high approval ratings? jeez…

    at least point out what fatty was saying a little while ago about how it will all be over by now and didn’t do anything and now we have more covid cases than freaking china

    common joe, like kc says, it’s a freaking lay-up

    The Biden campaign has been studying the ’18 midterms. No, not the ones two years ago… They’ve been studying the midterms of 1918…

    oh god, we’re fucked…

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