You just hate to see it

I regretfully must inform my fellow DeadSplinter-ers that Jacob Wohl has started an OnlyFans account and for the low, low price of $50 a month, you can see … uh … whatever it is he’s doing on that account.

In case you don’t recall our good friend Jacob, he’s the bandleader behind absurdly disprovable hits like Robert Mueller is a sex predator, Kamala Harris isn’t American, Pete Buttigieg sexually assaulted a college student and — one of the most hilariously backfiring attacks ever — that Elizabeth Warren fucked a Marine almost to death.

Other than the Liz one — like Fox Mulder, I want to believe — these were so transparently phony that even people currently defending the idea of drinking bleach as a public health response to coronavirus took one look and kept on walking.

And if you’re curious if little Jacob’s lack of skill at grifting carries over to the rest of his life, why, you’d be right!

He’s also faked death threats against himself, ran a “security company” that was under FBI investigation and faces felony charges for illegally selling securities. (The National Futures Association banned him for life from selling futures by the time was 20 years old. Slay, king.)

If you’re curious as to what he’s raising money for, besides bail, you can zip over to his Amazon wish list which includes some nifty stuff, such as …

You’re definitely going to need protein powder and a new laptop if you intend to come up with the next smear.

Wohl now joins other right-wing rejects like Laura Loomer and Milo Yiannopoulos in the “Too Dumb to Grift” corner for what is hopefully a lifelong time-out.