Your Guide to the 2022 NHL First Round Draft Picks!

The Only Draft Guide That Matters

US Olympic Hockey Team 1920
US Olympic Hockey Team circa 1920 / Source: https://www.loc.gov/resource/cph.3a34251/

Exclusive! What Everyone Needs to Know About This Year’s Hockey Draft

Here at Deadsplinter we spare no effort to cover the NHL. Months of reading, study of tapes, and analysis plus over 150,000 miles in travel and $250,000 in travel budget went to prepare this draft guide.

And then right as we were about to publish, Rogers demolished internet service for millions of Canadians. What a fiasco! Rogers is as useless as Facebook! But did that stop Deadsplinter? No, we persevered through it all to bring you this essential guide.

So without further distractions, get ready for the best NHL draft guide in the world!

1. Montreal Canadiens — Juraj Slafkovsky

Roy. Lemieux. Richard. Slafovsky. Les rois du hockey!

2. New Jersey Devils — Simon Nemec

Un homme? Non, un dieu! Le roi du hockey!

3. Arizona Coyotes — Logan Cooley

Zut Alors! Le roi du hockey!

4. Seattle Kraken — Shane Wright

Tres tres tres tres tres tres splendide! Le roi du hockey!

5. Philadelphia Flyers — Cutter Gauthier

Superbe! Le roi du hockey!

6. Columbus Blue Jackets — David Jiricek

O Canada! O Jiricek! Le roi du hockey!

8. Detroit Red Wings — Marco Kasper

Le dieu du hockey est arrive! Le roi du hockey!

9. Buffalo Sabres — Matthew Savoie

Les Sabres dit merci beaucoup, merci mille fois! Le roi du hockey!

10. Anaheim Ducks — Pavel Mintyukov

Quatre mots: Le roi du hockey!

11. Arizona Coyotes (from San Jose Sharks) — Conor Geekie

Le roi du hockey? Oui, le roi du hockey!

12. Columbus Blue Jackets — Denton Mateychuk

Merveilleux! Le roi du hockey!

13. Chicago Blackhawks (from Montreal Canadiens) — Frank Nazar

Pas un homme. Le roi du hockey!

14. Winnipeg Jets — Rutger McGroarty

Incroyable et superbe. Le roi du hockey!

15. Vancouver Canucks — Jonathan Lekkerimaki

Les Canucks sont tres tres tres heureuse! Le roi du hockey!

16. Buffalo Sabres (from Vegas Golden Knights) — Noah Ostlund

Noah Ostlund? Noah Ostlund! Le roi du hockey!

17. Nashville Predators — Joakim Kemell

Sans aucun doute: Le roi du hockey!

18. Dallas Stars — Lian Bichsel

Fantastique! Le roi du hockey!

19. Minnesota Wild (from Los Angeles Kings) — Liam Ohgren

Voila le roi du hockey!

20. Washington Capitals — Ivan Miroshnichenko

Ici: Le roi du hockey!

21. Pittsburgh Penguins — Owen Pickering

Fantastique! Le roi du hockey!

22. Anaheim Ducks (from Boston Bruins) — Nathan Gaucher

Jean-Phillip Rameau — Le roi du musique. Nathan Gaucher — Le roi du hockey!

23. St. Louis Blues — Jimmy Snuggerud

Incroyable! Le roi du hockey!

24. Minnesota Wild — Danila Yurov

Oui! Oui! Le roi du hockey!

25. Chicago Blackhawks (from Toronto Maple Leafs) — Sam Rinzel

Un miracle! Le roi du hockey!

26. Montreal Canadiens (from Calgary Flames) — Filip Mesar

Montreal est beni! Mesar est le roi du hockey!

27. San Jose Sharks (from Arizona Coyotes) — Filip Bystedt

Bystedt est le roi du hockey! Le roi du hockey!

28. Buffalo Sabres (from Florida Panhters) — Jiri Kulich

Kulich! Kulich! Le roi du hockey!

29. Arizona Coyotes (from Edmonton Oilers) — Maveric Lamoureux

L’amour. Le roi des emotions. Lamoureux. Le roi du hockey!

30. Winnipeg Jets (from New York Rangers) — Brad Lambert

Fantastique! Incroyable! Le roi du hockey!

31. Tampa Bay Lightning — Isaac Howard

Monsieur Howard est le roi du hockey!

32. Edmonton Oilers (from Arizona Coyotes) — Reid Schaefer

J’ai oublie Gretzky — Schaefer est le roi du hockey!

Final Thoughts

Well, there you go. Tough but fair. There really is no better analysis out there. That’s the Deadsplinter difference for you.

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8 Comments

  1. Excellent draft breakdown.  I want to go on record that I’m not crazy about the Blackhawks’ pick, but they’re trying to do a half-assed rebuilding, so nothing they do is going to make me happy.

  2. Uh, “omlette du frommage”?

    Today I learned that the NHL has a draft. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    I like the looks of that one white, foreign guy. Should have a long career ahead of him.

     

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