Can You Survive The Weekend??!??!!?
Hey Deadsplinterstayers! Can you pass the $100 Staycation Challenge? Here’s the scenario.
Everyone you know in town — friends, family, neighbors, coworkers, even your dogs and cats — they’re going away Friday night through Sunday night. So you agree to petsit your next door neighbor’s pet turtle. They give you the key to their place and $100 (or the equivalent in Canadian, English or other currency) for your troubles.
But when you go over Friday night to feed the turtle, you realize you’ve locked yourself out of your place, and nobody with a key will be around until Sunday night. You have no other money or cards. Your money apps are frozen. And the turtle needs regular feedings, so no fleeing out of town.
You go to your neighbor’s place, and after rummaging around you realize they have no food at all in the fridge or cupboards, just turtle chow. They have a TV, cable, wifi and streaming, and you can sleep in their bed. You have your phone.
So now you’re stuck with a $100 staycation for the weekend. What do you do?
Do you run to the store and buy groceries and just hunker down? If so, what do you buy?
Or maybe you have takeout options or good delivery? What would be your go to in this situation?
Maybe you buy a $100 bottle of booze and just eat turtle chow? Or do you go for lobsters from the store and drink tapwater?
I’m thinking I’d get a nice six pack of beer for $15, Chinese takeout one night and Ethiopian delivery another, scrounge up some bagels and I guess some carrot sticks to stave off scurvy, and then see if I have money left over to buy a cheap wading pool if the weather is nice and set up shop in the backyard.
For entertainment, I think this would be a good time to finally watch old classic movies I’ve been meaning to see forever. Although in reality I might just go catch the new Spiderverse movie.
So what about you, Deadplinterstuckers? How do you spend your money and how do you spend your time?
20 bucks of turtle food and the rest for me…..easy weekend really
turtles dont need much….hardy little fuckers
so yeah…i’d get enough turtle food..coz i dont want to kill the wee bastard
and spend the rest on booze coz i dont want to babysit the wee bastard either
Point of order: Turtles get fed once a day, AT MOST. And then they get roughly a teaspoon of food. They can easily survive a weekend without food and can go up to two weeks if necessary with no ill effects other than a cranky disposition. I would advise these abusive overfeeding owners to invest in a $15 automated feeder that dispenses food once a day and quit letting creepy freeloaders occupy their house. That’s what I do. I have a no freeloader policy.
So there’s that sorted.
However, in the spirit of the exercise, I would get two sixpacks, start each day with brunch at Keke’s, and have poke bowl the first night, and lamb vindaloo the second. I have a TON of shows I want to watch on streaming services, and I can do that on my phone. Right now I’m watching American Born Chinese (so maybe I’ll switch the poke bowl to beef with broccoli to fit the theme). I also need to finish Duck Tales on Disney+ (new version, I have the original series on DVD of course, like any sane person does).
I guess this means I’m the wrong person to be hired to turtlesit.
Well, you won’t be spending any weekends with Sheldon. Try to contain your disappointment.
Call the local wine store and have them make a large delivery to a slightly different address because they’ve known me and had my credit card info on file for years? Same with the ridiculously expensive hobbyist “butchery” that would probably gladly deliver me a live pig, no questions asked. Hobble down to the local bodega and explain my situation to the employees, and they will let me crawl out of the store with half the stock if I wanted to, including everything behind the grill, on the honor system?
Do people really not have any in-person retail relationships with anyone anymore? People say New York is a tough town.
$100 for a weekend? Hell I could go a week on that. That would be a lavish couple of days.
I’d go to the store, buy coffee, bananas, a four pack of protein shakes. That’s breakfast and lunch for 2 days for around $20. Even less if there’s no coffee pot and I have to drink instant. A 12 pack of hard seltzer would be around $15. Something sweet for dessert, like a couple of slices of cheesecake is another $10. I might have to pick up a cheap charging cable because mines locked in the house. Maybe $10. Then I’d order a pizza, that would last all weekend for dinner, with probably some leftover. With a decent tip that’s $30. I’d settle in to binge watch whatever streaming they have that I don’t. And read on my phone. Sounds heavenly.
I thought about a $50 challenge but I realized that starts getting tight if you want an OK bottle of wine. This way you uave a litle left over for going thrifting or a used bookstore, or more wine.
Hookers and coke.
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😂
Where the hell do you live that $100 will get you hookers & blow? I couldn’t get either one of those alone for anything near that price…so I hear.
He means Coca Cola. Need to keep your electrolyte supply strong.
The hookers are for the turtle.
Hooker turtles are cheaper?
Duh, they’re paid in cantaloupe. Everyone knows that.
Do I have my handbag? If so, I have my phone and Kindle. And DoorDash delivers anything. Actually, this sounds relaxing 😌.
A dozen eggs, some spray canola oil, some bagels and cream cheese, bag of baby carrots, some other veggies or fruit depending what’s on sale. A bag salad mix that can be dinner a few nights, a few pieces of cooked chicken from the store. A box of decent tea and a six pack of beer. Giant bag of kettle chips or tortilla chips.
I dunno, maybe this is one of those things where grocery prices vary greatly by location? A dozen eggs is back to being around $3 here, for example.
I’d probably weed and garden their property out of boredom, along with nice rambling walks. It’s not like a turtle needs someone watching it all day. 🙂
I’ve done that, but with cats. My job was to keep the cats entertained, fed and the litter box clean (and not burn down the house) while I subsisted on whatever I could scrounge from my friend’s fridge.
I discovered that sleeping on your back with cats is a bad idea. I would wake up in the middle of the night with a rather heavy cat curled up sleeping on my chest. It seems both cats liked the spot and would fight for it leading to semi-conscious dreams of wearing a fur coat that suddenly attacked me.
Ode to the garbage shithead who stole my package last week.
Fuck you.
Joke’s on you! It was some (expensive) resin model parts not anything worthwhile for anyone who isn’t building an Su-25 Frogfoot model kit (holy negatives).
Still, fuck you (because I’ll have to order those parts again.)
ugh….off topic..
but i just got out of bed….little past 5 am..thinking i overslept…double timed coffee and a small breakfast
and then…. once that sweet caffeine tickled me brain sponge….came to realize…..
its fucking saturday……
welp…..guess im not getting enough sleep in the weekend either now
You know, I had a boss who would make that exact same face when he was displeased.