There are many important things that go into having a good relationship, and if you had a few hours, I could list them all — stuff like respect and trust and yada yada yada — but you don’t, and I don’t, so let’s just boil it down to the single most important thing: devastatingly funny in-jokes that can crack your friend/spouse/significant other up without fail but are completely meaningless to anyone outside your relationship.
I had a good one with my wife the other night. She was watching the soon-to-be-departed MTV Classic and the Babyface song “When Can I See You” popped on. Here’s the video:
I didn’t grow up watching MTV so I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen this video before. It’s, very oddly, set in a coffeehouse that’s full of way more smoke than there should be.
I immediately ask: Why is this in a coffeehouse? And what’s up with the smoke? My wife starts laughing; she, of course, has no answers. Then they show the barista/owner(?) standing behind the counter and I say “Meanwhile, she’s yelling at him that they close in 10 minutes,” and she’s laughing even harder now.
Then I close with “You know, I think this song should be about coffee?” and I start singing “When can I drink you again” and for whatever reason, this sends my wife into just absolute hysterics.
It’s not that funny, honestly, but in the moment, it was the peak of comedy, and we’ve been singing it to each other every morning when we’re making coffee and still laughing.
We have a million more, just a few completely context-less examples: “Harry Potter weekend,” “False!” “Very good, babe,” “I want … to be … a BIRD,” “Playing the flute,” “I’m not looking at the hat!” and “Please play that at my funeral.”
Without backstory, those are all completely meaningless, but to us, they’re absolute comedy gold, with some of them still being pretty funny a decade or more after the first time one of us said them.
So what’s one you have with your friends/partners that wouldn’t make a lick of sense to anyone but you and them? And you can explain them … or don’t! A sense of mystery ain’t a bad thing in a relationship!
Here’s an inside joke for kids that my son thinks is hilarious:
many moons! hehehe
its been a thing for?
its a reference to a shortlived thing xbox live did….something lings?..maybe?
shit in the grand tradition…of uhh… you know traditions….
nobody knows where it started really
oh fuck… just bounced out of sleep…thinking..world of keflings..
twas the witch what said many moons..hehehehe
,,,well…glad to have that sorted..
gnite you lot
A couple of my friends used laugh uproariously when someone would yell out “There’s something warm running down my leg!”
The reason why is because my friend had blinded himself putting gentian violet in his contacts not realizing the surgical dye burns away the dead layer of skin. Basically he blinded himself (not permanently) like an idiot this while as a Frosh group leader (great leadership). I went to visit him and so did his Frosh. One female in the group got utterly wasted and was in a really bad state. She ended up passed out on his lap. When she woke up she started vomiting on him. That’s when he screamed that line.
Surprisingly, the university doesn’t allow Frosh to get that wasted anymore. Or let idiots put gentian violet in their contacts.
Dr. Galazkiewicz. This was a Bud Light commercial from decades ago. Many moons ago, my wife and I were out at dinner, and we were seated next to a couple. The wife was what would be currently called a “Karen.” They got their drinks, and some food, and then the wife called the server over and started complaining. I shit you not, ONE of her complaints was that a frozen daiquiri was, and I quote, “too cold.” I mean, FROZEN IS RIGHT THERE IN THE FUCKING NAME
As part of her litany of complaints, she noted that her husband was “Doctor XXXXXXX.” We couldn’t remember the name but the Galazkiewicz commercial was currently running so that’s how we remembered and referred to the whole incident. The restaurant comped their drinks and their meals, and they walked out in total triumph, not paying for a fucking thing. There were other couples at tables around us and after they walked out, we all were like “can you actually fucking believe that?” Several apologized to the waiter because he had to endure this shit.
Since then, whenever we encounter a Chad or a Karen, we look at each other and say “Galazkiewicz” (pronounced Galak-o-witz) and we crack each other up.
Oh, the ad? It is truly an age of miracles when I can dredge up a commercial from 35 years ago:
I’m totally doxxing myself but here goes:
Years ago, in the Big 80s, a friend of mine worked in a very high-end restaurant frequented by a very demanding elderly clientele. He served a table of four, two couples. Both women ordered the same thing. When he brought the food out one said, “I’m looking at her plate, and I’m looking at my plate.” “Yes? Is there something wrong?” “She has eight haricots verts and I only have seven. Take this back to the kitchen and give me my eighth haricot vert.” [It was the height of the Nouvelle Cuisine fad, where you dropped $200 and left the restaurant hungrier than when you entered it.]
So, he complied, and as he was leaving the complainant’s friend said, “Good for you, Doris. Don’t let him push you around!”
To this day “Good for you Doris” reduces both of us to gales of laughter. When my brother died we didn’t have a church service, somebody said a few words at the funeral home, and the speaker (whom none of us had ever met) droned on and on about my brother’s various virtues. I said, looking straight at the coffin but leaning in against Better Half, “Good for you Doris.”
Better Half was so overcome he bolted to the men’s room, and I kept stumm. A cousin leaned over and asked, “Is something wrong?” I said, “Hotel breakfast. There was something off about the creamer that came with the coffee. He’ll survive.”
dodger’s ownership must be ecstatic that instead of paying ohtani 150,000,000$ extra on a fake flight to toronto again they got to pay next to nothing for an actual one!
uhhh…@splinterrip
pretty sure that ones your influence….
…I…once I got done chuckling…would cop to some of that being on me in a crossing of the youtube streams sort of a way…owes a bunch to a few of the eminem ones…one of which I think is literally called drug ballad, even…but…I…think…I’m pretty sure I never went as far as…like…2 cups of blood in polite company…might have posted 1-800 suicide at some point…because that’s sort of another thing that doesn’t sound funny but is to some people I know…because dark as it might sound on its own…if you ever hear upwards of a dozen mostly white mid-teen kids of mixed gender sing along to it…I’m pretty sure you don’t have to be high to find *that* funny…all of which to say…thank you for reminding me of a time when it wasn’t unusual for someone to put the gravediggaz on?
…&…the other two track titles are real…but…there was more to that lot than it might seem?
…so…out of the four rappers…too poetic went by the grym reaper…& frukwan was the gatekeeper…but prince paul…the undertaker…kind of got the whole thing together & he also did “a prince among thieves” which was the album-as-narrative hip hop opera things like plan B’s ill manors owes its whole deal to…defamation of strikland banks even being taken seriously as a project by a label you could argue probably never happens without that prince paul thing sitting out there being one of its kind for a while…& the gravediggaz about birthed that horrorcore “scene” way back when
…also…not *all* about the downside, either
…& that last guy…went by prince rakeem…but…mostly people know him from the bit of the gravediggaz name he hung on to when he moved on from being their RZArector
…uh huh…that RZA
…what was the thing newton said…if I have seen further than most…it is only because I was standing on the shoulders of giants?
…like…for my sins…I just kinda know that stuff about the gravediggaz because I can barely remember when I didn’t
…but I can’t make youtube show me the stuff it pulls up for you…so…definitely not a giant…but…you know how in asterix the chief gets carried about on a shield?
…if I were the one propping up the shield & that had…RA the rugged man’s pretty tall…so say I’m holding him over my head like physics is no big deal…then it’d be a bit like a giant’s shoulder, right?
…or not…don’t mind me…I blame you for how boggled my mind clearly is at this point…so…call it even?
i like that newton quote
i think hes wrong tho….i mean what does he know :p
giants smiants…. we see different things….coz we look in different directions
that standing on the shoulders shit is just pr bullshit coz saying im the fucking greatest smartiest pantiest bestiest motherfucker around….dont win you any friends
you know….
@splinterrip im not sure this rap corner of youtube is safe for farscy
…i like it tho
My key to a happy relationship
…at one point one of my siblings & I could pretty much have a whole conversation that was just references no one else in the family got & that worked a similar way…sort of like speaking in meme format before that was a thing, I guess
…but a truly bizarre one sort of owed its lineage to a fast show sketch where some aliens are trying to figure out how to seem like people & one of their go-to bits is to draw out the word “interesting” in a bad parody of the way you would if you meant “god, I’m bored”…that was a pretty well-worn catchphrase with a lot of people for a little while but a long while after that a few people were drinking while waiting for others & ended up bemoaning the proliferation of different cables/connectors & just as someone arrived one guy was in the middle of saying…in the sort of tone you’d say “if you’re going through hell, keep going”…”so – firewire…”
…the new arrival was very much “wtf are you dorks talking about?” so after a bit of consideration someone tried to explain how it had come to that…&…tl;dr…for many years among a slowly expanding set of people who knew each other “firewire” became a sort of unrefusable request to change the topic of conversation…& it can’t be refused because it’s funny not rude?
…like…most frequently deployed when sitting down in the midst of a conversation that is either a) genuinely pretty dull because everyone’s had a few too many & the chat is flailing like an unattended hosepipe b) deemed by onlookers to be headed nowhere good & possibly needs nipping in the bud c) possibly of interest to the people who were having it but those people having other times they can talk to each other about it that aren’t meant to be some sort of party
…I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be exaggerating to suggest that might have preserved several friendships & more than one relationship over a span of maybe the better part of a decade?
Toronto! Your Blue Jays are killing it tonight!!!!
They certainly did. Torched the Dodgers BP.